If you could make a TV show......

Yokel

LE
I have used the search function, so please try not to J Damn (or indeed JDAM) me.

Sometimes I am perplexed and disappointed at the lack of decent TV programmes (yes note the UK spelling) that are both educational and entertaining, wholesome and uplifting, perhaps a little risque but not socially harmful - neither misogynistic nor PC, not that offending Snowflakes should be avoided. So why not have a few ideas for the ARRSE production company. The only thing I ask are that a few basic rules are followed:

1. No porn (ie nothing seriously hard) - a bit of nudity is fine*.
2. No racism.
3. No slurs against any religion.
4. Nothing to glamourise crime.

*No, I really mean it is fine - ie preferable, and ideally female.
 
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They should make a program about me, I’m fücking awesome!
 

Offshore_Harry

Old-Salt
Arrse TV would make a great addition to the usual crap on at the moment.
I think the best would be a agony aunt/uncle with sex, drugs & relationship solving.

Arrse has some overly qualified experts, some with real qualifications and others bought on eBay?
Could answer/give advice, could be more thrilling than Dear Deidre or The Samaritans?
 

The_Snail

ADC
RIP

_Chimurenga_

LE
Gallery Guru
FLASHMAN - The Series

There's enough material for several seasons with enough violence and nudity to rival Game of Thrones.
 
I have used the search function, so please try not to J Damn (or indeed JDAM) me.

Sometimes I am perplexed and disappointed at the lack of decent TV programmes (yes not the UK spelling) that are both educational and entertaining, wholesome and uplifting, perhaps a little risque but not socially harmful - neither misogynistic nor PC, not that offending Snowflakes should be avoided. So why not have a few ideas for the ARRSE production company. The only thing I ask are that a few basic rules are followed:

1. No porn (ie nothing seriously hard) - a bit of nudity is fine*.
2. No racism.
3. No slurs against any religion.
4. Nothing to glamourise crime.

*No, I really mean it is fine - ie preferable, and ideally female.
with that strict criteria all my suggestions are out.
 
I have used the search function, so please try not to J Damn (or indeed JDAM) me.

Sometimes I am perplexed and disappointed at the lack of decent TV programmes (yes not the UK spelling) that are both educational and entertaining, wholesome and uplifting, perhaps a little risque but not socially harmful - neither misogynistic nor PC, not that offending Snowflakes should be avoided. So why not have a few ideas for the ARRSE production company. The only thing I ask are that a few basic rules are followed:

1. No porn (ie nothing seriously hard) - a bit of nudity is fine*.
2. No racism.
3. No slurs against any religion.
4. Nothing to glamourise crime.

*No, I really mean it is fine - ie preferable, and ideally female.
Youve basically ruled out everything that makes good TV shows.

Do you work for the BBC?
 

Offshore_Harry

Old-Salt
No sex, drugs, swearing, porn, racism, crime or poor jokes, it must be a religious program with out aled jones?
 

Jammy66

War Hero
I'd love to see a new game show where members of the public have to answer questions to win prizes for celebrity guests.

Linda from Birmingham who works at the local Poundland on minimum wage answers fairly easy questions and she wins a new Lotus Elise for her celebrity 'partner' Martin Freeman. Linda gets a souvenir mug and a photo of her and Martin with the host of the show, Peter Andre.

Next up is Simon from Halifax (unemployed) playing to win a Villa in Spain for Claire Balding.
 
FLASHMAN - The Series

There's enough material for several seasons with enough violence and nudity to rival Game of Thrones.
Obviously you didn't have @Harry Paget Flashman in mind for the starring role? Who is your first choice for Flashman and what is the outline plot?
 

Troy

LE
Definitely not another Fecking Soap, or a so-called Romantic Comedy, or rubbish "reality" crud, or any of the "lowest common dumbo" shite with the audience crowd/crows being encouraged to cheer and shout.

Something more akin to the Open University style such as the Coast series, which combined History and Geography in an interesting way.
 

_Chimurenga_

LE
Gallery Guru
Obviously you didn't have @Harry Paget Flashman in mind for the starring role? Who is your first choice for Flashman and what is the outline plot?

Malcolm McDowell as the elderly Sir Harry trapped inside a collapsed dugout on the Western Front in 1915 recounting to his companions his many mis-adventures.
 
I'd like to see a show based around normal people who work hard, pay taxes, raise kids and just get on with life without pretending to be speshul, blaming other people / the government, and just living life.
It would show their successes and failures and just act as an advert for how good people live. It would give the useless, pathetic, deviant, ars3hole types something to aspire to.

It would be boring as fvck, but atleast it would provide a spotlight to the good people of the world. It would make a nice change from denigrating them as being boring, and worthless, even though they are the people who keep the world turning.

Shout out for Joe Shmoe!

It would never be made as it would be dull as fvck.
 
MP's and bankers wired up to the national grid, via a variable amperage control, then a question master, I was thinking, maybe, Bugsy, meerkatz, or any sober tax paying British national, will ask them, "Where's the Fucking money and when are you bunch or wankers going to do the job you were voted in to do?" any bullshit, deviation, stonewalling, or verbal bollox, results in a goodly dose of amperage, at mains voltage, until the arseholes wise up and get on with the job they are paid to do.
 

Yokel

LE
Definitely not another Fecking Soap, or a so-called Romantic Comedy, or rubbish "reality" crud, or any of the "lowest common dumbo" shite with the audience crowd/crows being encouraged to cheer and shout.

Something more akin to the Open University style such as the Coast series, which combined History and Geography in an interesting way.
I was thinking of this sort of thing - but with tasteful female nudity. More later....
 

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