If you could have five minutes in a locked room .......

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by JoeyDeacon, Dec 29, 2011.

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  1. Arse, mouth, if I had any left then arse again.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. She looks retarded......
  3. Kick her in the face. Try and improve her looks. Everyone called Kerry turns out to be a fucking minger.
  4. Arse, mouth, eyesockets, in that order.
  5. Set fire to its whole extended family, and then phone 999 800 times one after the other in order to block the line and Hey Presto!
  6. You filthy cunt! :razz:
  7. You'll get an STD with that lack of knowledge. It should be cunt, arse, mouth, then eyesocket. FFS
  8. Trans-sane

    Trans-sane LE Book Reviewer

    And from the same source, your wife would do you in this order: Savings, pension, the secret bank account she isn't supposed to know about. And if you have any left she'll have that too!
  9. Another 243 more calls and she'd have reached 999 calls the thick twat - wonder if she has a fuck face page ?
  10. Shag it, twice, then have a nice relaxing smoke. That should take about 5 mins.
  11. Glad they put the street name in the report... there is only one house on it.

    Unless she lives in the factory.

    Seems she must be seriously unbalanced in the head.
  12. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    I'd cover the key hole then no one could peep in, then push things in my bottom and play with my hampton
    • Like Like x 2
  13. Woah woah tiger. Any chance of changing the title of the thread to "Which member of ARRSE would you like to have five minutes in a locked room with"?

    Or shall I do it myself, you lazy shit?