If you could go back in time...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Boozy, Oct 29, 2010.

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  1. I'd go back and tell Gail Porter to nosh me off or I'll magically make her hair fall out. After my black eye had gone and Gail was looking nice and shiny I'd tell Kelly Brook the same thing and carry on from there.

    I'd also have sold my white fiat uno a month earlier in 1997.
     
  2. I'd go back to the end of term school disco and Head-butt my spotty self many times over for shitting my pants and running away when a very drunk and very fit Tina barker offered to suck my cock and let me finger her whilst everyone was doing the time warp.
     
  3. My divorce lawyer would be short of a few bob and the ex would still be a virgin.
     
  4. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I'd go back in time and slip thalidomide into my next door neighbour's mum's tea while she was pregnant.
     
  5. I would chose about 1940 and on, after antibiotics were discovered and put in to use.

    Also it was a more natural world.

    I take it I wouldn't be defending Okinawa or a resident of Nagasaki !
     
  6. Can't make my mind up. Either take that steep hill a little slower on my bike, when I was 5. Or avoid playing fisticuffs with a moving car, when I was 12.


    ... or maybe asking that tall, rather beautiful blonde girl out on the off-chance, when I was 15, instead of logically analysing my chances :)
     
  7. Thinking back...I'd probably have had locks fitted to my bedroom door at university...would have saved a whole heap of hassle. Even better i would have looked for a one person flat rather than the 3 absolute bellends i ended up cohabiting with!
     
  8. Did someone break in and ravage your bottom? Pics please.
     
  9. I'd go back to the battle of Waterloo, or perhaps Rourkes drift, with a GPMG and 50000rds of 1in5 bit. It'd be quality.
     
  10. wedge_cadman

    wedge_cadman War Hero Reviewer Book Reviewer

    No need to go far back, probably only for self improvement;
    Firstly go back to university with Bill Gates, Steve Jobs et al and invent the personal computer and the operating system making sure windows 3.11/95/98/ME are assigned to the waste bin.
    Secondly meet Tim Berners Lee and invent the Tinterweb and introduce him to Gates/Jobs
    Thirdly back to the playboy mansion and sell my new PC/Internet idea to Hugh Heffner. Streamed Playboy porn channel

    Therefore as a young chap at college I would have had all day porn tv as I was unable to chat girls up and flicking the pages of magazines was too much trouble when having a pull.
     
  11. wedge_cadman

    wedge_cadman War Hero Reviewer Book Reviewer

    50,000!! might need a bit more for Rourkes Drift. That's only 1hr 17mins of fire. Can I bring the Automatic Grenade Launcher?
     
  12. Now you must decide what you want 1B1T or 4B1T, we dont supply 5B1T. And do you need some spare barrels for the GPMG?
     
  13. Obviously he would also be singing that bloody Welch ditty that seemed very popular in the film.
     
  14. Durrrrr, sorry 4B1T will be fine. I'd need a couple of barrels please. Why not the SF tripod too?