If the MoD did the procurement for Darth Vaders Empire...

#1
Following on form the OV10 thread in Aviation, I mused at the thought of the MoD doing the procurement for the Death Star. I decided that it would end up being called 'The Slightly Unwell Asteroid'.

In a similar vein, what if the MoD did the procurement for Vaders Empire?

What would Darth Vader actually end up with?
 
#2
The-Lord-Flasheart said:
Following on form the OV10 thread in Aviation, I mused at the thought of the MoD doing the procurement for the Death Star. I decided that it would end up being called 'The Slightly Unwell Asteroid'.

In a similar vane, what if the MoD did the procurement for Vaders Empire? What would Darth Vader actually end up with?

Darth Vader's, Non-Violent Collective of Small Holdings and Allotments
 
#3
T.A. stormtroopers bitching about this being their second tour of Hoth in four years and how they're still wearing clone troopers helmets and armour.
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
not-so-Super Star Destroyers?
 
#6
Replace the darths leather uniform with PVC, its half the cost* never mind the problem with sweat and not at all heat retarded its not like the rebals could ever blow up the 'The Slightly Unwell Asteroid'



* on paper once procured is should come in at 3 times the price and not fit
 
#8
The Death Start would run out of power because of all the iPod chargers and disabled lifts, it would only have enough room for two blast cannons because the requirements managers had been forced by outer centauri regulations to install ablution facilities for every race in the galaxy and it would have bankrupt the evil empire thus allowing the rebellion to win by default
 
#9
Cultural aware tempest soldiers? In multi-coloured armour to highlight their equality and diversity trg?
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#10
Press Release

The Ministry of Defence is commited to procuring the very best of equipment for our soldiers. This is why we are especially proud to unveil the new All Terrain Armoured Transport, a vehicle with no design flaws whatsoever:

 
#11
The-Lord-Flasheart said:
What would Darth Vader actually end up with?
A deathstar that kept crashing and was slow as fcuk due to the fact it ran on Windows NT....
 
#12
Our armed forces are the best trained and equiped in the universe. We have invested over 6 trillion Antaren Credits in equipment for the the conflict against the Rebel Alliance

 
#13


 
#14
The droids would be on JAMES and be signed out to other units for an exercise or in the L.A.D. !
Star Destroyers would divert to the nearest 'sunshine location' due to in flight technical faults.
Demands would be refused as, "These aren't the parts you're looking for !"
 
#16
Either

1) DV would still be waiting for the Death Star:

"I am sorry, my Lord, but the PFI contractors are refusing to sign on the basis that the burden of risk has not been adequately mitigated in the terms and conditions."

Or

2) He would've been informed that owing to the financial situation, he would have to wait for the Death Star, and would instead have to bridge the gap with an ex-TWA Tri Star the MoD had found in a desert somewhere far, far away...
 
#17
Only one death star would have been completed and the other would have been cancelled just before the battle of Endor
 
#18
Instead of the new action man figures darth vader would be selling these

 
#19
PAYD

Pay As You Destroy
 
#20
AT-ATs would become NE-NAs (Nearly Equipped Not Armoured). They wouldn't have any weapons, they'd by made out of ply wood and would fall over at the slightest hint of a pebble in their path).

TIE (Twin Ion Engines) fighters would become SHIT (Single engined Hopelessly Inadequate Trash) fighters. They would have their plasma glass, fully integrated cockpits replaced by a single Chipmunk gauge and a Secconda clock. Their four laser cannons would be replaced with a single air rifle and the radar would be replaced with a fruit bat. Of course, Darth Vaders original requirement of 400 would be reduced to 21 with an option to buy another 10 if he elected to buy into a second 'Slightly Unwell Asteroid'.

Vaders procurement team were offered the X Wing fighter but they decided that they didn't want it (despite it being more capable, half the price and had more future growth potential) because the workers on Kamino couldn't secure a favourable contract with the manufacturers of the X Wing. They cried to Vader that if he didn't 'buy into' the SHIT fighter, thousands of Kamins would lose their jobs. He responded by destroying Yeoviltonia.
 

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