If only I was in charge.............

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by headgear, Apr 4, 2008.

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  1. With all the constant arguments about immigration and Britains chav scumbags and cheating MP's if I was in charge I would:

    1. Limit immigration - in particular EU immigration as this is causing most of the stress

    2. Set a time limit on fit and able people on the dole - i.e. 3 months, after that period if they have nt bothered their arses then force them to vegetable pick or sweep the streets or cut OAP 's grass or do meals on wheels etc i.e make them contribute to the country for their benefits. This work would be either am or pm so that they would still have time to job hunt. I would even increase their dole money to reflect this work - but not too much.

    3. MP's would be forced to accept a rented furnished flat in London during their 'posting' as an MP and on being voted out the new MP would take it over. This accom would be on the same conditions as a squaddie would get on FIA.

    4. All kids would be forced to do PT and computer games rationed (also ban mobiles)

    5. All teachers should be able to read and write and given military style training - so they get some discipline and can then instill it in the kids

    6. Parents would get disciplined (birch, stocks, beasted etc) for failure to control their own kids.

    7. Women would be limited to 10 mins on the phone and nagging will be banned.

    I could go on but you get the jist - am I just a dinosaur or one of the few sane people left in the UK?
     
  2. When are you standing? You seem to have similar views to Boris Johnson.
     
  3. a few more:-

    Instead of giving crappy 1p tax cuts, raise personal allowances, let people earn enough money before they start paying tax, say minimum of £10-£15,000 before paying tax and put basic rate up to 25% with an upper bracket of 50% for those earning in excess of £150000. Any bonuses or salaries over £1million should be taxed at 90%

    Find a better way of funding roads/public transport by scrapping the tax disc and tax on fuel, instead find better ways of raising funds from motorists that are fairer AND will be collected from ALL road users not just those who do drive legal.

    Increase funding to Health, Education, Defence & Emergency Services, why do we still have teenagers leaving school unable to read/write.....

    Instead of banks and BS supplying mortgages, they should be provided centrally by BoE, the interest collected can then be used to
    Support First Time Buyers/Key Workers
    Provide housing for the homeless and those in need

    Ensure MPs represent the interests of this country and its residents rather than worrying about every other bloody country first and their 'future career'....

    And as for crime

    Any Foreign national found guilty of an offence that carries a custodial sentance is deported to their home nation - other countries do it, why dont we

    Foreign Lorry drivers have their lorries impounded until any fines are paid

    Life should mean LIFE - no parole

    Prisons should be there as a deterant, bring back chain gangs, let them get out on the sides of motorways picking up litter or down the central reservations etc

    Get rid of tags and community service, waste of time. Give them a choice, 12 months in solitary or public birching

    Get rid of PCSOs and give the Police the funds they need to make the streets safe, no more 'no go areas' anywhere
     
  4. What, and do all those legal immigrants out of a minimum-wage (a fortune back in Poland etc) jobs?
     
  5. I'd ban the Daily Mail and put a restraining order on Jeremy Clarkson preventing him from speaking or writing in public. Force certain people to think up their own political beliefs for a change rather than get them off the peg from a loud-mouthed, arrogant, broken-record.

    Then ban the party system from politics and make Parliamentary power contingent on being able to convince enough people that you're ideas will work.
    IQ testing as a benchmark for suffrage.
    Compulsory attendance at the Polls unless in possession of a medical exemption (in which case you lose that opportunity; ain't life a bitch?)
    The right to actually cast a vote contingent on being able to answer at least 6 questions on current affairs out of 10.
    Only one vote per voter, but it can be cast for or against an individual, the largest net share of the vote determining who wins.
     
  6. 1/ Capital Punishment brought back Hang Murderers
    2/ Life means life
    3/ Coporal Punishment in Schools bring back the Rod
    4/ End to Mass Immigration, repatriate all illegals no time limit
    5/ Islamic lunatics banned, all Muslims who dont like it go home even if 2nd 3rd Generation
    6/ No work no pay
    7/ End Ludicrous huge pay cheques for Footballers
    8/ Football clubs restricted to one non EU footballer per team, and two EU footballers in any starting line up
    9/ Human rights act scrapped
    10/ Armed Forces to recieve minimum 5% GDP
     
  7. Sorted

    Lets have a military coup, i,ll book the armoury timings, Tuesday ok for everyone?

    Got to be back by 18.30 though, mess meeting.
     
  8. You lot have got my vote!!!!

    What will you call your party? :D
     
  9. How about

    We really do give a sh@t party, shortened to Give a Sh:t, so when in 3 years after we are in we change our policies or don't do as we promised we can reply "Give a Sh@t" with a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders.
     
  10. Maybe ARRSE should put a candidate in the next election and we could have an ARRSE debate to put our manifesto forward. Those in power might actually sit up and take notice.

    ukdaytona gets my Vote.

    Up the ARRSE Party.
     
  11. All quotes from above..Isn't this from the Taliban manifesto ?

    4. All kids would be forced to do PT and computer games rationed (also ban mobiles).

    Get rid of tags and community service, waste of time. Give them a choice, 12 months in solitary or public birching

    1/ Capital Punishment brought back Hang Murderers
    2/ Life means life
    3/ Coporal Punishment in Schools bring back the Rod
    4/ End to Mass Immigration, repatriate all illegals no time limit
     
  12. I'd make everyone do community service because it should be seen as an honour to serve your community. Do this from an early age and pay them for it out of council tax. Council tax payers are of course getting some of their money back by helping the community. Publicise it on the telly when community groups do something really good and pay them a bonus for doing a really good job.
    If kids had to pick up litter from the streets and parks then they'd be a lot less likely to drop it as they know they would have to pick it up sometime in the future.
    Chavs would get extra duties such as shining shoes and washing windows and emptying ciggy bins in the shopping arcades.
    Old dears don't have to do it of course. They would be served free cups of tea and scones in the community centres by chavs who have to dress accordingly (See below). Old blokes can opt for being served foaming ales and hot meaty pies with onion gravy and mash in the local working mens clubs. With the footy on the telly too.

    No trainers. Scrap the bloody things except when people are actually doing sports. Everyone should have to wear shiny shoes and have a damn good haircut. Long haired gits get their hair cut in public places and small children and old dears should be paid to poke fun at them.
    Anyone caught letting their dog sh1t in public without clearing it up would have to work for the dog warden for a week, picking up dog sh1t and handling dangerous dogs.
    Kids and chavs caught being cheeky should have to be slapped by that fat orange bloke from the Tango adverts, and smaller kids and old dears should be paid to laugh at it when it happens. Old blokes would be exempt from this as they'd be too busy watching the footy with their pie, mash and ale.
    ....and rest.

    Here he is:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1jywlZG74o
    He's my hero, he is. :twisted:

    Thought of something else.
    I'd pay former RSM's to march up and down in town centres drilling chavs. They would of course have a hand picked team of (and this is the key) highly paid former soldiers who were down on their luck as assistants in rounding up chavs. These men would be given special luxury accomodation paid for out of council tax, this would of course be near to a local hostelry and they would be classed as 'honorary old blokes' and so would qualify to sit with the real old blokes and have the foaming ales and pies etc. Served by the same chavs that have just done the drill sessions in town.
     
  13. Total agreement here, and from Raggedyettea, please send enlistment forms.

    Thompson!...Clean my Fowling piece, I,m going Tactical.....thank you
     
  14. How about?
    'The beatings will continue until morale improves' party

    Actually I think I'd prefer:

    "The Self Respect Party"
    No bl00dy politicians allowed in.