If I were a Dictator....

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
If I were a dictator I'd ban all food and drinks in cinema or theatre's. Not that I often go because the constant sounds of the crunchy crunchy bags and the suck bottles. Then of course the need to get up and go for a piss half way through the show or a resupply.
On a similar subject when did the British public lose the ability to travel on the train without bags of stinky fast food?
Why can't they just stare out of the windows and possibly suck on a polo mint? Again I don't travel on trains too much anymore.
During the interval those who smuggled in any of the above will be hanged outside using the short drop method for maximum pain and entertainment.
Likewise at the end of the line. I might even use the above more often if that were the case.
You just can’t ban things without there been any consequence should said ban be violated.
 
Filthy, idle Roma scumbags.
Except that most Roma don't come from Romania.


'They settled in present-day Turkey, Greece, Serbia, Romania, Croatia, Moldova, Bulgaria, North Macedonia, Hungary and Slovakia, by order of volume, and Spain. From the Balkans, they migrated throughout Europe and, in the nineteenth and later centuries, to the Americas. The Romani population in the United States is estimated at more than one million.

'The Romani people identify as distinct ethnicities based in part on territorial, cultural and dialectal differences, and self-designation. The main branches are:
1.Roma, concentrated in Central and Eastern Europe and Italy, they emigrated (mostly from the 19th century onwards) to the rest of Europe, as well as the Americas;
2.Iberian Kale, mostly in Spain (see Romani people in Spain), but also in Portugal (see Romani people in Portugal), Southern France and Latin America;
3.Finnish Kale, in Finland, communities also exist in Sweden;
4.Welsh Kale, in Wales, specifically in the Northwestern part of the country in Welsh-speaking areas;
5.Romanichal, in England. Communities also exist in the United States, Canada Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Northeast Wales, South Wales and in the Scottish Borders
6.Sinti, in German-speaking areas of Europe and some neighboring countries;
7.Manush, in French-speaking areas of Europe (in French: Manouche); and
8.Romanisæl, in Norway and Sweden. The Romani-Swedish population is mostly located in the southern parts of the country.
9.Scottish Lowland Gypsies are also considered a Romani group (At least by English Romanichal and Welsh Kale) although they are theorised to be a fusion between Romani and a native Traveller group. Their language is predominantly derived from Romani.
10.Middle East Gypsies'


 
What kind of girly girl are you? Roundshaw is a walk in the park - hit Addiscombe and New Addington for max scum destruction.
I spent my teenage years near New Addington in Forestdale.

There's no need for a nuke and all the clear up problems afterwards.

Contain it Leningrad style. They'd go completely feral in a month and starve in 4.
 

kimmi851

War Hero
I spent my teenage years near New Addington in Forestdale.

There's no need for a nuke and all the clear up problems afterwards.

Contain it Leningrad style. They'd go completely feral in a month and starve in 4.
They were almost certainly already on Soylent Green up there before all this started - they will have many very fat people left after 4 months!
 

FakeSheikh2

Old-Salt
If I was a dictator, Theresa May would be my queen, and I'd have a harem of succulent GILFS.
@scarbrough

You are sick! (Wish I had thought of it first)

But a good plan Theresa Mary May looked very MILFY 10 years ago.
But not been with child or ever will be now, unless its the second coming.

Can I test them out for you to see if they pass muster?
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
Thought I’d put the news on this morning. Well that’s my first mistake of the day.
The stupid K Burly asking stupid questions, Mr Gove, what’s going to happen in three weeks? How the fuck does he know that you stupid cow?
There were other questions and more shouts at the telly before I turned it off.
If I were a dictator I’d have one news channel and gawd help any fucking presenter who annoyed me as they could feature on the afternoon news in front of a wall or dangling from a rope.
 
@scarbrough

You are sick! (Wish I had thought of it first)

But a good plan Theresa Mary May looked very MILFY 10 years ago.
But not been with child or ever will be now, unless its the second coming.

Can I test them out for you to see if they pass muster?
No you cannot. I get first dibs on any mature female that takes my fancy. They've been waiting half a century for me.

Theresa still looks and sounds MILFY.
 

FakeSheikh2

Old-Salt
No you cannot. I get first dibs on any mature female that takes my fancy. They've been waiting half a century for me.

Theresa still looks and sounds MILFY.
Well hope she & the others give you the clap.

I will have to do with my BBC Female News readers then.
Sophie & Fiona don't have ASBO's against me yet, But Emily does.
 

Lacking Moral Fibre

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
You just can’t ban things without there been any consequence should said ban be violated.
I assumed being in a dictatorship the culprits, with their bags of wine gums in the cinema, would know they'd get real leathering or down the salt mine for a spell.
 

Yokel

LE
More ideas:

1. People to be awarded citizenship points tied to some sort of award for doing charity work or caring for friends or relatives.

2. All decisions and proposed decisions to be subject to PDCA analysis and peer review.

3. Help people start up businesses or retrain for new jobs - interest free loans .

4. Make dishonesty have severe consequences for the spreader of lies.

5. Bring back apple and custard pies.
 

Lacking Moral Fibre

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
No you cannot. I get first dibs on any mature female that takes my fancy. They've been waiting half a century for me.

Theresa still looks and sounds MILFY.
Yeah I've always had a thing Mrs May, and one of her successors Priti Patel 'cuts the mustard' as well although I wouldn't wanna make her angry!
 

Yokel

LE
6. Compulsory eyesight and psychological tests for @scarbrough and @Lacking Moral Fibre.

7. Men to be banned from wearing ear rings. Women to be banned from chewing gum.

8. Free lessons to teach people basic cooking, home maintenance, and other skills once taken for granted.
 
Thought I’d put the news on this morning. Well that’s my first mistake of the day.
The stupid K Burly asking stupid questions, Mr Gove, what’s going to happen in three weeks? How the **** does he know that you stupid cow?
There were other questions and more shouts at the telly before I turned it off.
If I were a dictator I’d have one news channel and gawd help any ******* presenter who annoyed me as they could feature on the afternoon news in front of a wall or dangling from a rope.
Slightly off topic, but why does anyone employ or even listen to that outstandingly annoying woman. I used to enjoy Sky news with the bit of banter between the other presenters but she has no talent, no personality, little in the way of presentation skills and is clearly is on the hard of thinking side of the IQ median...
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
I assumed being in a dictatorship the culprits, with their bags of wine gums in the cinema, would know they'd get real leathering or down the salt mine for a spell.
You haven’t read what I added to your post have you:???:;)
 

Yokel

LE
The hermer is strong in this one. I bet you wear a casual jacket with 'Ex RAF' embroidered on it.
How f""king dare you! I am Dark Blue to the core as my family has been for centuries. Which reminds me....

9. Maritime 2050 to be used as a basis for a long term manufacturing and export strategy and moving to an economy and self image as a globally engaged maritime nation.
 
When I am Dictator and Lord Protector of Great Britain and Ireland I would:

  • Ban the installation of plastic windows in period properties and, on pain of death, force owners to remove these architectural abominations and install correct wooden-framed windows.
  • Similarly, ban plastic front doors. Top of my priority would be the forced removal of 'slipped fanlight' plastic doors. Truly vile creations.
  • Ban stone cladding (other cladding styles to be similarly removed).
  • Ban conservatories on terraced properties.
  • Stop 'prole drift' of modern designs filtering down to the Working Classes.
  • Insist on collar and tie as de riguer for office wear.
  • Err...that's it.
 

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