I would kill everyone at Apple and MIcrosoft who changed their operating systems that stopped me doing anything that I have always done.
Is that why you keep phoning me up and making strange sounds - like sucking or blowing? Do you feel a bit of dick when using Mr Graham Bell's invention?
That's just going to encourage masochists to stop social distancingAnyway - with the current Covid-19 crisis, persons who ignore advice to minimise social contact should be forced to wear collars with sensors and electrodes, so if they come into proximity with others a small but painful electric shock will be administered.
Keep the chancre mechanics busy sterilising the idle and feckless.I'd make everything a meritocracy (except the Dictator job), ensure everyone was subject to investigation where necessary and subsequent trial/execution. Only provide Uni courses where there is a need and a job at the end of it. Create unemployed battalions to clean up shit and earn their dole. I must be having an angry day.
Hate the modern Olympics anyway, bring back the original ones and watch him up against a chariot archer.