If I were a Dictator....

I would kill everyone at Apple and MIcrosoft who changed their operating systems that stopped me doing anything that I have always done.

Very slowly.
 
What do you mean "If " you underacheiver.

"When" not "If"

You'll never be Generallissimo El Presidente for Life with that attitude.
 

mcphee1948

War Hero
If I were a dictator, I would summon a meeting of the heads of the Army, Navy and Air Force, and offer them all massive bribes to keep supporting me.
 

Yokel

LE
Is that why you keep phoning me up and making strange sounds - like sucking or blowing? Do you feel a bit of dick when using Mr Graham Bell's invention?

Anyway - with the current Covid-19 crisis, persons who ignore advice to minimise social contact should be forced to wear collars with sensors and electrodes, so if they come into proximity with others a small but painful electric shock will be administered.

Those who do not wash their hands after the bog, when there are perfectly good facilities, shall have the fingers marked with long lasting dye.
 
Anyway - with the current Covid-19 crisis, persons who ignore advice to minimise social contact should be forced to wear collars with sensors and electrodes, so if they come into proximity with others a small but painful electric shock will be administered.
That's just going to encourage masochists to stop social distancing
 
If I was a dictator, I'd ban @scaley_albereto from the internet.
 
All the loony labour councils who put up signs declaring a nuclear free zone during the cold war would get a bucket of sunshine, just to make a point.
 
I'd make everything a meritocracy (except the Dictator job), ensure everyone was subject to investigation where necessary and subsequent trial/execution. Only provide Uni courses where there is a need and a job at the end of it. Create unemployed battalions to clean up shit and earn their dole. I must be having an angry day.
Keep the chancre mechanics busy sterilising the idle and feckless.
 
What do you mean "If " you underacheiver.

"When" not "If"

You'll never be Generallissimo El Presidente for Life with that attitude.
As Supreme Dictator of the Universe, you'd still be getting your instructons from me as to how you'd run your bit of things.
 

BigMac

Old-Salt
If I were a dictator ;

I would stop everyone going out of their home except in very specific circumstances dictated by me.
I would close down all pubs, entertainment venues, camp sites, libraries, playgrounds and non essential shops.
I would ban religious services.
I would ban public gatherings.

For the greater good.

Nah, you wouldn't get away with that here...
 
Well, there's all those British Olympics medals gone then.:oops:

Birth nameMohamed Muktar Jama Farah
NationalityBritish
Born23 March 1983 (age 36)[1]
Mogadishu, Somalia
 

Lacking Moral Fibre

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
If I were a dictator I'd ban all food and drinks in cinema or theatre's. Not that I often go because the constant sounds of the crunchy crunchy bags and the suck bottles. Then of course the need to get up and go for a piss half way through the show or a resupply.
On a similar subject when did the British public lose the ability to travel on the train without bags of stinky fast food?
Why can't they just stare out of the windows and possibly suck on a polo mint? Again I don't travel on trains too much anymore.
 

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