If I Was in Charge - Crime

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by meridian, Jan 20, 2009.

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  1. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)

    If I were head of the Home Office I would....
  2. Reintroduce the death penalty (hanging) and apply it retrospectively to a fair few of our prisoners.

    Send some prisoners back to their native lands.

    Repeal the HRA.

    Find some sensible bobby to run the police. Disband ACPO.

    Fire half the other buggers in the home office.

    Shoot Jacki Smith

    Shoot Peter Mandleson

    Shoot Ian Blair

    Shoot Peter Mandleson again

    Issue a warrant for Bliar's arrest for war crimes. Freeze all his assets.

    Round up everyone accused of having links to the IRA, UDA, UVF etc and lock them up.

    Reintroduce corporal punishment in schools and as legal punishment.

    Watch crime levels plummet.

    Have pie and chips for lunch.
  3. Reduce paperwork loads for the Police by employing admin assistants for shifts. Bin the whole PCSO idea, serving PCSO's would be offered the chance to apply for the Police proper, or serve in a civilian support role.

    I'd also look into the allocation and purchasing of uniforms, vehicles, kit etc.
    Why do all forces not use the same uniforms? This would make recognition of PC's easier iff all coppers looked the same. Also would make purchasing (bulk buys?) cheaper. Same with kit such as batons, firearms, vests, etc.
    As for the vehicles, now I understand why some more rural forces would need more of a mix of soft-roaders and LandRovers, and why a heavily urban force would have more of a need for smaller cars; but why for the majority of cars is there a difference in types. Surely it would be cheaper buying all Astra's or Focus's instead of each individual force buying what they want. The whole police service in the UK would have greater purchasing power than Hampshire, Yorkshire, The Met, seperately. Also I would have all Police forces in the same livery on vehicles.
    Staying on vehicles, surely there are better cars to use than a diesel Astra or Mondeo. I know I would feel more intimidated being chased by something like an Impreza or Evo (Police Interceptors) or even something like a Vauxhall Monaro or BMW M5.
  4. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Shoot Mandelson a couple more times, in the face, with a shotgun, just in case Bravo was sloppy.
  5. House all ASBO kids in the FIBUA village at SENTA or Copehill down

    Remove the eyeballs of car thieves on a 3 strikes and out basis - no see no drive.

    Carry a kilo of cocaine and any drug dealer caught can snort the lot on the spot - a sort of Police goodwill gesture

    Lock up the drunk and disorderly on Sat night, have a fastrack court on Monday and fine of £500. Not released until paid by family or mate.

    Follow the Mayor of Arizonas lead with tough prison conditions. A tented camp on Dartmoor will be ok

    Certain crimes would warrant a "new" community service - being an escapee on an escape and evasion exercise.
  6. Give the police their powers back. Get rid of the euopean human rights laws. Put sin bins in every town where any scrote /chav that causes trouble is locked up straight off the street untill they appear in court.

    Stop all 50% remission on sentances. Rapists Kiddie fiddlers and murderers get life that maens life.
  7. reform the police into three seperate forces like the French - an armed paramilitary force akin to the crs that took care of serious shit, a state/regional force for burglary/murder/fraud etc and a local force for minor crime, traffic and anti social stuff.

    Use offshore island as a feeder/quarantine station for immigration - another series of islands could be used for criminals as a cheap and easy prison camp a la escape from new York - ship nonces there and leave them to look after themselves!

    Public floggings (rattan cane/birch) and reintroduction of the stocks as pusishment for low level crimes.
  8. I'd never get anything done. Because I'd be very, very drunk!
  9. Stop being so sensible :D
  10. Bring back the death sentence. No question.

    Corporal punishment for minor offences. It would be public too.

    Jails and correctional facilities should be a feared punishment. To that end, all inmates / prisoners would work in some form of civil programme, cleaning roads, drains etc and doing general work in and around the community.

    They would also be given bread and water to eat with vitamin supplement pills on the side. No TV, no radio, no proper food, no talking, no hot water, no pleasantries at all.

    ANYONE from a foreign country that commits any from of offence will be deported to their country of origin with no chance of re-entry (family too if the crime is that of murder, rape, armed robbery etc)

    Any youths that are found drinking on the street, causing a disturbance, breech of the peace will be punished and their parents forced into some form of class to be a better parent and not let your cnut of a child go off the rails whilst you stay in your shitty house and drink till you forget the misery of your sad little life ( :x )

    Then I'd get drunk and hunt chavs with a big fcuk off knife!
  11. You'd need a hand with that lot. PM me if you need any help.
  12. Is this a slow news day that NAAFI bollox is leaking into Current Affairs.

    A clue for Meridian and other creators of guff threads. In CA you post threads about what is happening in the news, in the NAAFI you can post whatever you want.

  13. When did you take over ownership of the site?



    Edited to add: I know this isn't the NAAFI but you're still a cunt.
  14. Seriously consider introducing judicial caning along the lines that Singapore does it. If you're naughty and you get caught you're getting a whacking.
  15. Make being unemployed for more than a year a crime....................that'll sort Sven.