"If I ruled the world!"

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by g2_loony_bin, Mar 29, 2006.

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  1. If you were in charge of this country, or the world what would you do to put things right?

    Would you legalise all drugs or crush everyone with an iron fist of rule?

    Would you welcome diversity, introduce re-education for all religious persons or just wipe them off the face of the Earth?

    Would you force countries that weren't towing the line into a police state until they sorted themselves or let them crack on?

    Would sex attackers be castrated and humiliated or culled?

    These are just a few ideas.

    Anything, everything, it's your world from now... GO!
  2. Nuke France and sit basking in the after-glow................
  3. mysteron

    mysteron LE Book Reviewer

    Cull all chavs, with a spoon and happy slappers and those who loiter on the dole, girls and their children who get themselves pregnant so they get their own flat.

    i will also evict anyone who lives in this country that cannot or will not speak english.
  4. Ugly women would be made to go out in public will a paper bag over their head.
  5. I'm not talking detailed policies and sh1t, either the most extreme of liberal things can happen and it's up to you!

    A bit more thought please!!!
  6. Owning a BMW will be an offence punishable by death by paper-cuts

    Middle lane hogging will result in a chain-gun attack by suitably equiped 'pursuit cars'

    The old and infirm will be scientificaly investigated to ascretain what nutrients we can extract from them for our own use......

    Any Ned/Chav who asks for me to take that first swing he so desperately needs, will get it. Right between the eyes. Hard, feckin hard.

    Lolly-pop men/women will be armed.

    The gene responsible for child abuse will be rooted out and all new-borns will be screened for it. Any found in its posession will be sent to France (see previous post).

    and on the 7th day I'll ride my bike.................
  7. I would have a peaked hat covered in gold braid, huge tassled shoulder boards, a chest full of medals, mirrored sunglasses and a huge droopy moustache . . . . . . erm? . . . . . .and some henchmen.
  8. Gold plated and jewel encrusted SA80A2s for the lads... that's about it... :)
  9. Make Hitting mongs legal
    Death penalty for Piers Morgan
    Firing squads for happy slappers, rapists, murderers and peodophiles
    National service for Chavs(without weapons and send them into a warzone first)
  10. The sexual "bases" system will be revised so that "getting to first base" will involve oral and ****.

    MRTs and RAF/RN SAR will respond only to military emergencies. Anyone who is stupid enough to go up Snowdon in January wearing only a t shirt, shorts and flip-flops, with only some half-eaten Kendal Mint Cake and a mobile phone to sustain them, deserves to die. Similarly that cnut who keeps of getting fished out of the Irish Sea because he insists on conducting maritime navigation with nothing more than a fecking AA Road Atlas.
  11. What do you if I run the country? I do run the country, I'm a lizard man from the planet Zog.

    I would re-introduce education 1950's style, re-introduce Matrons in the NHS, build more prisons - 6'x5' cels with NO radios/tv's/pool tables.

    I would round up all the chav's and scroungers and sell them into slavery. The profit will be used to build a super fortress in Stirling.

    Illegal's/Asylum seekers would be detained in nice holding centres where they can spend their time doing educational courses untill their case is heard.

    Ken Livingston will be locked in the Tower of London.
  12. Simple answer to raise the national IQ? Get rid of all the fences on railway lines - Stupid enough to play chicken with trains.........
  13. 1. I would cull all caravan mobile home or similar owners. Some kind of RPG should be fitted to police vehicles adn then any tourer etc simply blown away...clear up by teams of long term unemployed....see para 5 below.

    2. People who sue McDonalds et al for burning themselves when driving with hot coffee between their legs etc Will be put in gibbets as an example of stupidity and left to starve in order to protect the gene pool. There are clearly other categories that would also be dealt with similarly e.g the fat bastards that sue companies becasue they didn't know that if you eat 4,00 bars of choclate/ 800 burgers/hotdogs that they would get fat and die. Clearly these gibbets would need significant reinforcement.

    3. People that sniff and don't blow thier noses will have thier noses cut off and the holes filled with putty.

    4. Tea slurpers will be boiled alive in vats of tea/soup/coffee depending on what was being drunk at the time of the offence.

    5. Anyone unemployed for more than six months will be compelled to work cleaning roads/painting community assets etc in order to earn their dole...time off given for interviews only. If still unemployed after 12 months they will be shot.

    6. Independence for Scotland so all the Scottish MPs in England will f*ck off home adn stop dictating how English education/Health and Agriculture will be run.
  14. I would also legalise enforced health camps for lard arrse's.
  15. All women would be ordered to report for full body cosmetic surgery and given one of three choices: a] Angelina Jolie b] Scarlett Johansson 3] Charlize Theron..

    wearing of stretch pants/tour de France bike shorts/bodysuits, track suits by anyone not actively exercising will be banned.

    No beer will ever brewed that is low carb/low cal/low fat/low alcohol

    all roads and traffic lanes will be cleared whenever I decide to take a spin on the autoroutes in my custom built Lambourghini Testosterone.

    Everyone can believe whatever they want [ or not ] as long as it is never outside the confines of their own home.