If he didn't have rank I would hit him.....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by GdsmMikeF, Aug 12, 2011.

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  1. We've all had sh1t bosses who would have been parked on their arse if it hadn't been for Military Law.

    Who would you say was the most chinless Commissioned twat, cnut of a senior bod, bully of a failed passed over NCO or just a nasty bastard of a Warrant Officer.

    I'll kick it off with my personal Commissioned best chum who would end up with a grid like a bulldog eating yoghurt if I ever caught up with him in Civvy strasse. He was the cliche of an old school Guards Officer which should set the scene.

    I was a Rifle Company Sigs Det' commander on a TEWT in Catterick and the first excercise was a Battlegroup vehicle move towards the FUP.

    The CEI clearly stated to anybody that could read that strict radio silence should be observed (not that anybody who didn't have an arse for a brain should need to be told that on a CEI). I had been badgered to f*ck close to kick off for start stats on the Admin' net from none other than Mr QM himself as we were the only Company who hadn't given them. All my pestering of the OC had resulted in him threatening to put me in front of himself as soon as we got back to camp.

    Needless to say kick off came and went with the QM looking at me across the room with a 'You and me are going to have words' look on his face and low and behold I was given said start stats and told to transmit them on the Admin' net to rear ech'.

    I informed the OC that I couldn't as we were now observing strict radio silence as per CEI. He was insistant to the point that all the cubicles round the map board in the room could hear him slowly confirming what the entire already Battn knew, that he was an out of his depth but rather well connected, over achieving prick..

    Needless to say all the other dets were grinning like wanking Japs at my predicament which was slowly becoming more and more embarrasing in front of the other Battlegroup units.

    Under pressure of death by poshness with the words 'Me f*cking Major, you f*cking not, now send the f*cking message' I tried to send stats but as if by magic was met with silence on the net. I continued and eventually was bollocked over the net for not observing the CEI.

    Now with the whole room now muttering words to the effect of 'Radio silence, what a prick/twat/cnut' loud enough to be heard in Sydney the chinless, now majorly embarrased OC informed me that as soon as we were back in Camp I was going straight in front on the CO and he would personally see that I was in trap 1 before sunset for insubordination and refusing a direct order.

    Luckily he had a Battlegroup HQ sized audience including every Battn personality and his dog so luckily this never came to pass but from that day on I was off his Xmas card list until he kindly f*cked off to GCHQ.

    Anybody beat that for a complete twat of a boss?
  2. did he buy you flowers afterwards?
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  3. My commander on the range safety vehicles in Canada. He was a WO.2 of the R.M.C. and kept dropping hints he was ex S.F. cnut...
  4. 90% of officers in the Royal Signals deserve to be viciously gang raped.
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  5. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I had a horror of a female Welsh sub lt who threatened to troop me and an oppo for play fighting once. We were bored and jap slapping eachother and calling eachother cunts. She took offence to our repeated use of the C word.

    I'd love to spark her out with one punch. I reluctantly settled for wiping my cheesy helm around the rim of her tea cup at every opportunity for the entire duration of her draft.
    • Like Like x 8
  6. I worked for a completely spinless, ginger haired ginger tached, downgraded cunt called D D*gd*le. He was a chopper of the highest order, and I was constantly having battles with the idiot. He was constantly trying to redress some shite CR he had been given, and get money out of the MoD for something or other.

    There were numerous occasions where I would be asking him to step outside the office for a "chat"

    He even had the cheek to give me "poor" on my CR for "phys" despite him being P7, and me passing all my fitness tests.

    If I were still in NI I'd make a point of finding him and punching in the grid, and smashing his annoyingly attractive wife up the gary.

    Thankfully the det commander also thought he was a cunt so each time I was in his office for trying to punch Mr D he laughed it off.

    When my promotion came through I was offered to stay on, or bug out......I couldn't get away from the spastic quick enough.
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  7. Officer without a shadow of a doubt would be as was Lt L*****-Sc******* RE never before has such a total fuckwit been in charge of men
    NCO - Cpl T*** No******* a bullying petty minded idiot.

    Best SSM was Chick Cameron - 22 EOD
  8. As a platoon commander I took delivery of quite a few utter tossers from a wastage-rate shy training system. If I hadn't had rank, I would have hit them....
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  9. I bet you could not punch your way out of a wet paper bag!

    I would have informed whoever you was sending to " hello 1 this is 2 from my Sunray etc etc"

    You could have requested to brake radio silence!

    He is a Major and you are a Det Commd, do as your fecking told!

    And stop fecking moaning!
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  10. Don't really remember anyone that bad that I couldn't ignore or could tell lies about behind their backs but I was strapped in on a flight to Afghanistan next to a Capt who slept peacefully throughout with his bottom on permanent send, he fucking stank like a KFC bin but gave me his scran so every cloud and all that.
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  11. Of course there's no rank on the net so if radio silence has been implemented then it has to be maintained, I doubt he'd have got permission to break radio silence to send a message that wasn't urgent i.e. casevac.
  12. i think you should lay off the meths...from what i can gather from your rant, this man was in your opinion, a cnut because of something to do with a radio msg?

    in my opinion, most flaggies are idle, self-important bellends. does this help?
  13. Yeah, he wouldn't sign jack shit being as stressed and out of his depth as he was. Hadn't bother his arse yo plan anything and then when he's fucked up he uses his rank and position to teflon shoulder it. He was repeatedly sounding out the Company 2i/c in front of the blokes, which is just as much as a measure of the bloke. I played regular rugby with the 2 i/c and meet up with him for a pissup at the Army v Navy game evry year and he's since divulged that knobheads external posting to GCHQ was a tactical one and he left the Army not long after.

    His solution to Ech' missing our start stats when he knew he'd fucked up was to send a runner. Feasible with the assets (that we didn't have) Yeah, cosmic.
  14. Captain Charles T B######f USMC

    He knows why as well.
  15. Would you have "Biffed" the brutes on the nose?