If Gordon Brown was in the Army....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rodney2q, May 14, 2008.

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  1. Broon rather reminds me of the career lance jack or full screw who used to work in the bedding store at the School of Infanty at Warminster in the late 70's. He was an officious little gobsh*te who made a real meal out of his bit of power when signing out the bedding for students on the SAA and Signals courses.

    ...and he used to grovel to anyone with a bit more rank.

    I'd put money on Brown never getting higher than LCpl in any case.


  2. Not a chance even the bedding storeman has his uses. the only thing Brown would be any good for is a Fig 11
  3. I doubt he would have made it out of training. Especially the Guards Depot with him being "Sartorially Challenged" the scruffy Fckwit!
  4. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I recall that little turd. he was there in early 70's too. Lance jack then. Made life really difficult when trying to draw bedding etc, and that was never a pleasant experience. It seemed that your room was always on top floor of any block anywhere!
  5. 22 year Private, Good Conduct stripes for arse licking all up his sleeves, making him look like a drummer boy,
  6. I remember that little shit, he tried to issue me a pissed mattress on my SAA. As for the one eyed prat he'd probably end up cleaning up the shit behind the regimental goat of the taffy regt, under supervision of course.
  7. Brown would of course be a natural for AGC(SPS) but would insist on his suitability for Cav, Inf, RA or anything with a bit of "spin" attached. He would get an A on his SFR course but would on arrival at unit institute a regime of accounting that would result in three years training budget being expended, yet less than three months training objectives being achieved. Nevertheless the CO would still get an OBE and the unit would be held up to be a paragon of military virtues. Until it arrived overseas on its operational tour...

    He would constantly badger the chief clerk as to when he was going to get to be Chiefy. "Go on, you promised after that dinner-night!" he would wail. Finally when the Chief Clerk got his LE commission, he would step up only to discover that not only were the public and non-public accounts fecked but that training, estates and G1 were all to cockery. The G2 would turn out to be wrong and in many cases made up. The unit affiliation to a US unit would also turn out to have been one way traffic...entirely for the outgoing chief clerk's benefit. Who would have been posted to Cyprus.

    Sounds about right...
  8. Far too close to reality for comfort.

    Hang on....what the...
  9. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Speaking on behalf of the AGC(SPS), we wouldn't take the cunt.
    More suited in a clothing store me thinks.
  10. He'd get Gomer Pyle-ed by the other recruits, and end up blowing his own head off, but instead of trying to get him to put the weapon down the section commander and platoon sergeant would go get a camera and put it on Youtube for the rest of our repeated enjoyment...'Jesus! Did you see that head come apart? I didn't think he had that much brain!'
  11. That's him off to Deepcut, then!
  12. If gordon brown were a squaddie I'd have taken out the firing pin in his personal weapon and at some point on op's shot him with a captured weapon.
  13. Officer's mess barman...in nylon shirt and made-up bow tie...

    "Brown, why is my gin and tonic two quid?"

    "Sorry sir but I have had to increase the prices again due to fiscal pressures...Private Major left the bar accounts in a terrible mess sir and I think you will find gin has never been cheaper than under this administration..."

    "Provost Sergeant - take this man outside and shoot him..."
  14. Brown would definately be the type you would follow into battle out of curiosity rather than anything else.
  15. id follow him into battle to make sure he was in my susat, and for nothing else