Our hero is in a meeting with grown-ups. Theyâve got the guns but weâve got the numbers, you know? I have pulled out my Mont Blanc roller-ball pen and quietly unscrewed it. The chief suit opposite has done the same with his Mont Blanc fountain pen. My boys have smiled quietly and settled in their seats. Started on the biscuits. We are not here to sign contracts. We are here to give you a fucking kicking. I win. Until things get warm. At which point I gesticulate with my Mont Blanc. The top flies off, shoots across the table and whacks some Muppet just above the left eyebrow, causing a small purple spot to appear. I lose. I would have been better off with a Biro. Its like Breiting vs Swatch. One marks you down as a flying fairy who is good with colours, the other is a decent, cheap Swiss watch. Versace luggage says "Pillage my baggage and give my best to your family in Romania". A Woolworths black case says "I am a tourist on a cheap flight". If expensive and cheap had a fight, who would win?