Idiotic punishments

Right, white-washing the snow / coal. Cutting the grass with nail scissors, cleaning the Khazi with some one else's tooth brush

Has anyone got any more suggestions of a similarly futile nature?
Stripping the guardroom cell door frames in the aim of shining the metal with brasso, only for the RP's to realise door frames are not made from brass and painting them again.
painting grass green

mopping the carpets

bumpering the ceiling

painting kerb stones - all of them
Stripping the paint from shaving foam and boot polish tins.
Bulling the back of a polish brush.
My eyes are welling up thinking about my memories of the punt,all them years ago.
oh yes RoPs - bulling of respirator, brasso mess tins, bull black plimsoles oh the horrors
Just the thought of ROPs would s hit me up,but I never ever had them in 12 years service.
Fined(3 times)
Bust(just the once)

Happy days.
Entire troop having to wear best boots for fieldcraft a week before Passing Out Parade

The joys of an 1157 check, oh didn't they used to call them change parades before they got banned? :D

Show parades of done by myself and others:

Show No.2's without fat b'stard gut stretching the buttons, got a few no shows for that one :(

Show bed without pubes on sheets, mate had to strip his bed down and carry it to the Guardroom and rebuild it there

Show locker setout correctly, same as bed entire locker had to be taken to Guardroom
Change parades are banned?!
Taking <<insert item from room, locker, bed etc>> up to the training area to "give it some fresh air", then bring it back again coz its "cold".

Pan bash, how many of us stuck still half dirty wet pans back on the rack?

Painting 3 * Chieftains green, then black then back to how they should be in the middle of the night coz someone lost his gat.

Standing outside the gym on NCO's cadre, temp minus 15, dressed in pt kit whilst staff had a coffee, bstards!
section across the hall, had a bee in their room during inspection. whole section on show parade showing bee removed from room. Corporal turned up had a look at a now bee free room and was not a happy bunny. The section actually had to show a bee that had been removed from room, they caught one and stuck it in a jar. how we laughed
The whole platoon leopard crawling to the cookhouse at Barry Butlins (the old one with tin roofs) because someone had f ucked up some how.
It wouldn't of been so bad if it was just us there,but to be face down in the dirt whilst RAF Regiment lads casually stroll past us sniggering on their way to scoff.
Oh,the humiliation.....
Bulling an orange
Bulling a brick on the cell wall
Show parade showing less stupid expression on face.
1. Go-karting day out.
2. Adventure holiday.
3. ASBOs.
4. Holiday camp prisons: Three square meals per day, with the use of TVs, DVD players, Sky Sports, table tennis tables, pool tables, central heating, plumbing, blankets, drugs, comfort. Like being back in the womb, and all for feck all.

Prison has become the new welfare. :roll:
Show dust removed from under bed.

Shows clean floor under bed.

No you dozy * I said show dust removed from under bed.

took me 30 mins to show some under bed dust, corridor dust and laundry room dust were not good enough.
Drill course, many interesting show parades but one happened to a friend of mine that stands out.

Show electric alarm clock with correct time. Think about it.

The coal was painted white to stop people stealing it.
Having to catch best boots when they were dropped/thrown from the 3rd floor of the accom at the AAC Chepstow. The timing of the NCO'S was perfect - they hit the floor just in front of you. Start bulling again. Why - just because they could. Tawts
Painting a 14 tonners stripes from black to green and green ones black then painting it back the original way coz he caught me using a broom to paint with and not a 2 inch brush oh the fcuking joy of it
Show keys removed from locker tray

Later at Guardroom

"Pte DW showing keys Sgt"

Provo grins....Who's keys?

DW ...Grinning ....The Queens Keys!


Actually-perhaps the Emperor Mong had some involvement in that one

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