Ideas Please!

i'm currently stuck in selly oak hospital having been aeromed'd, i've got a touch screen internet tv thingy majiggy that won't let me watch the finer things the internet has to offer as all sites are blocked. somebody help and set up some threads t some normal sites, i'm not para reg but i am fed up of w**king in the disabled toilets with my fingers in my ass! the nurses are having non of it. somebody save me.
you poor poor man I have been to that hell hole and I am giggling just thinking about some other poor fcuker being there thank you for making my day.
is it just me or has the last poster got a bit confused about where to put his thread??? Or is he just a knob-jockey???? :?

Confused of Peover Heath!!!

obviously referring to Papercut and NOT the venerable Spoolerdog


Kit Reviewer
Utter trust radio bingo.

Worm staring.

Quad-amputee computer rebooting.
Individual synchronised formation swimming

Greased baby hurling

Peacock firewalking


Gunnera leafpressing

Vindaloo enema retention
Naked skiing paintballing

mobile phone japs-eye insertion relay race

SA80 A2 king stingers

vomit sculpting

grandfather clock eating race

Cheese Possessed eating (come to think of it, I may have crossed the line there)
The "Nicking The White Cider Off The Tramp" sprint
The "Moon The Razzman And Leg-It" sprint. Bonus points for not being recognised
Throwing "TSO's Pizza-discus". Points will be awarded for just being able to lift it
Lifting TSO's Dumplings from the stew. Extra points for simply managing a mouthful
Trying not to comment/talk/laugh through bad news/romantic films/Deal or No Deal Marathon in front of TSO
Dutch Oven. Points for delivery, length, effect and aftertaste. Extra points for doing it while being noshed. Follow throughs get penalised
The "How many Officers can you say '**** you very much sah'" to. Points for length, volume and seniority of Officer
Theft from the QM. Extra points for brand new Gucci kit.
Shooting. Baron Shorrtarse at 400, 200 and 100m on iron sights with dum dums. Extra points for pain inflicted
The "I'm One Of THEM" relay. Extra points for Pints bought and birds pulled.
Death Row Vaulting
Invisible Pogostick Jumping
Hamster Baiting
Hollyoaks watching Marathon
Synchronised Shoplifting. Points for value, penalties for reduced items
Naked cattle rustling
Projectile vomiting after a snoot full of wife beater. Extra points being given for the furthest lump of carrot, a good display of colours and the least chewed content.

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