TV is pretty gash as a rule, I think you'll all agree. Iâm just in the process of packing my 9 year old off to bed so I can sit down and watch the Ross Kemp true-life documentary "Ultimate Force" and told him he couldn't watch the programme I wanted to watch. He asked what it was called and I told him "Ultimate fart?" he said Which I think is a proper good title for a TV reality show. Imagine it, if you will. 4 D list celebs are given Â£25 and a day to shop for the best bum gas ingredients they select, along the lines of Celebrity Come Dine with me. The eveningâs menu may include a food/alcohol combo for their evening meal, just so long as they donât exceed their budget. The production company will give each contestant 4 tins of warm Fosters. The celebs then all sit down together to enjoy their meal and bevies. The following day, they are woken up early and given black coffee and Marlboroâs for breakfast. Then a good session of cardio phys and the taken back to the TV studio, where they are allowed a shower but denied a toilet. Then a microphone is held up against their spandex clad arrse and they are invited to let rip, the winner being the one who produces the loudest trouser trump. The winner of each episode can go through to a grand final, which is were the general public will be able to select the person who can produce the âUltimate Fartâ What do you think? I reckon it has merit.