Ideas for stitching people up

Anyone got any real gems on how stitch housemates up? I mean well and truely stitching them up? But without breaking the law.
Cut their tendons while they sleep
With a needle and thread. Sew all their orifices shut. Rub the lotion on your skin ...
Give them rohypnol then take them to a gay club...
Nail gun all their shoes to the ceiling and shite in their pants drawer.
Pay snail to stalk them..


Book Reviewer
Deep heat on their underwear.

Buy a Scotch Bonnet chilli and rub it around their toothbrush.
Pickled onions in their pockets (tried and tested).
excellent ideas, keep them coming! all bein noted down. will conduct the 'do-able' ones and let you know how they go! in the meantime lets have some more please!
Put their toothbrush up your arrse and take photos of it.
Shotgun shell up the exhaust pipe of their car. They'll be miles away before it heats up sufficiently ... then boom!
Immac in the shampoo/conditioner bottle apparently works a treat; the poor lamb had to miss a job interview and spent 2 weeks with a chavvy baseball hat on. He looked like he had mange. Clearly not going to work on soap dodgers though; only for those in touch with their feminine side. If that's too sophisticated, just skiff all the mugs and glasses in the house.
Subscribe them to email lists using a tool like this LINK

Tie fish to their exhaust manifolds (takes months to lose that smell)

Put superglue in socks

Contact the local branch of the Mormons (if you're being really nasty)

Plenty of scope for the creative thinker!

Similar threads

Latest Threads