Ideas for a bit of justice....

#1
It would appear that I have had my email account hacked, and not just by some usual spam thingy, rather personally.

This morning I started receiving a few emails from old muckers and colleagues asking for an explanation as to why I had sent them all a string of abusive emails. Not amused it turned out that they had indeed received these slaggings from my email address. I then received an email myself telling me that they could keep gaining access to my accounts no matter what I do, and that it would only stop if i arranged somewhere to deposit £500 for them! The necky cunt!

Well, I don't take kindly to blackmail. I've never been handy with computers and the like, but I do know some chaps who are extremely good! Needless to say after presenting them with the emails and several IP Addresses earlier on today, I now have two addresses in the north London area.

I'm too far out to pay a visit, however I'm pondering sending someone round to inform them that if a donation of £500 is not made to H4H by tomorrow afternoon then they'll be filled in before being presented to the nearest station with all of the evidence.

Thoughts?
 
#2
Make sure you lumphammer all their fingers to the extent they might as well not have any, THEN nick all their computers
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
#4
Save £492, get 2 gallons of petrol, one of each address, 2 boxes of matches, job done. Make sure that they're in first though ;-)
 
#5
Make sure you post your troubles on the internet therefore allowing any potential hackers to learn your ARRSE username too.

Get yourself to the London addresses so I can read in tomorrow's newspapers about your untimely death due to shanking.
 
#8
.
You should email back and arrange to drop the 500 quid off somewhere. When a pale, spotty, huge right armed computer nerd tips up, kick him straight in the face.
 
#9
Make sure you post your troubles on the internet therefore allowing any potential hackers to learn your ARRSE username too.

Get yourself to the London addresses so I can read in tomorrow's newspapers about your untimely death due to shanking.
Separate email account old boy, and the thought of being beaten to death with a lamb shank isn't all that bad....
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
#10
Too far away? You live in the UK how is anything too far away? Just drive to London or wherever and batter the cunts yourself. How fucking hard could it be,ffs?
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#11
I'm in North London, I'd offer to go round and sort them out with a hammer drill if I could be arsed.

But I can't.

Sorry.
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
#12
I'll do it if you pay my airfares,accommodation and pay me 500 of your British pounds. Just send me your account details.
 
#13
I'll do it if you pay my airfares,accommodation and pay me 500 of your British pounds. Just send me your account details.
Cheers but I do feel this may not be a beneficial deal for me, may be gone some time, I'm off to collect some roadkill and shit in a jiffy bag just to get things started. I'll need a bloody good box to avoid the courier refusing.
 
#14
Thought this was a thread started by the Justice Minister and welcoming my idea about opening a new stone quarry on South Georgia.
 
#16
I know it's the NAAFI, but how about the legal route? Go and see plod, explain the circumstances, tell them you have the addresses of the perpetrators, and would they like to set up a sting op? Blackmail is a serious crime, and the wankers will be going down for years.

If PC plod doesn't want to know, find the appropriate section in the Force's mission statement or whatever modern bollox they publish, and then write to the Chief Constable or Commissioner (if Met) and quote that section, and that having reported this crime to PC 492 Plod at Trumpton Police Station on 6 Jan 12, they refused to act. Within a week, you will see a result.

Alternatively, go and work the wankers over with a crowbar and do the time yourself when caught. As you will be.
It was PC Potter at Trumpton, not to be confused with PC McGarry (of Camberwick Green).
 
#18
I know it's the NAAFI, but how about the legal route? Go and see plod, explain the circumstances, tell them you have the addresses of the perpetrators, and would they like to set up a sting op? Blackmail is a serious crime, and the wankers will be going down for years.

If PC plod doesn't want to know, find the appropriate section in the Force's mission statement or whatever modern bollox they publish, and then write to the Chief Constable or Commissioner (if Met) and quote that section, and that having reported this crime to PC 492 Plod at Trumpton Police Station on 6 Jan 12, they refused to act. Within a week, you will see a result.

Alternatively, go and work the wankers over with a crowbar and do the time yourself when caught. As you will be.
This is obviously the best route seeing as I posted it all on ARRSE, however in the mean time I've already found a suitable jiffy bag, and the urge to empty my bowels is irresistible, I can fuck around first before plod gets involved...
 
#20
I know it's the NAAFI, but how about the legal route? Go and see plod, explain the circumstances, tell them you have the addresses of the perpetrators, and would they like to set up a sting op? Blackmail is a serious crime, and the wankers will be going down for years.

If PC plod doesn't want to know, find the appropriate section in the Force's mission statement or whatever modern bollox they publish, and then write to the Chief Constable or Commissioner (if Met) and quote that section, and that having reported this crime to PC 492 Plod at Trumpton Police Station on 6 Jan 12, they refused to act. Within a week, you will see a result.

Alternatively, go and work the wankers over with a crowbar and do the time yourself when caught. As you will be.
The legal route is the best one. How many other people has this blister obtained cash from? Probably from the vulnerable who don't have a "taking the law into their own hands option" (not recommended anyway). And where does the money go? Many of these fraudsters use the money to finance drug trafficking, terrorism or other criminal enterprises. Don't call the Police. Write a letter to the Police Borough Commander of that area of North London and look forward to a meaningful response within 10 days. Hopefully the local Police Support Group will have found the offender by then and stamped all over him until his head goes soft.

I wouldn't advise demanding money for your silence. Please see below:

S.21 Theft Act 1968

A person is guilty of blackmail if with a view to gain for himself or another or with intent to cause loss to another, he makes an unwarranted demand with menaces and for this purpose a demand is unwarranted unless the person making it does so in the belief;

a) that he has reasonable grounds for making the demand and
b) that the use of the menaces is a proper means of reinforcing the demand.

Always check with the Walrus for a bit of legal advice before you do something you think you may regret. This one's on the house. A special offer I'm running this week.
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top