I'd most like to banjo TRBD with...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by spaz, Nov 9, 2010.

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  1. This morning the item that I would most like to beat therealbigdizzle with is a Recuperator from a 30mm Rarden. This does change from time to time and after reading one of his posts I can often lose myself for a moment as I imagine repeatedly beating his limp groaning form with a heavy blunt object. Previous favourites have included a variety of different hammers but I also quite like the idea of dropping a floor buffer onto him from a height.

    Now my question is this; which object would you most like to beat therealbigdizzle with and how?

    Answers on a postcard please.
     
  2. Do you not like him?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. a ceramic flagoon of acid. imagine the double whammy of the first blow, followed by the shattering and shards of ceramic, then the final shock as the acid bites.
     
  4. ...................[​IMG]....................
     
  5. Spotter! Hey spaz, does it have to be an object, can it be a gas/liquid/dwarf etcetera?
     
  6. I have a heavy blunt object I could use and it'd make him groan and moan. If I use it he would learn and shout loudly 'you're the daddy'
     
  7. Gravity can be a useful tool. I've mulled this over during my morning shite and I'd like to stake him out next to a portacabin, then have him recite his posts about ironing discarded poppies whilst, I drop full sealed tins of Dulux onto him from the roof.

    Vastatio, I'm open to all suggestions, just so long as it's painful.
     
  8. It depends on what you classify as a floor buffer. The original British Army Mk1 Bumper was an ideal air drop weapon and has been, more than once, deployed against block invaders. A heavy weight at one end coupled with long handle for in flight stability this weapon could be either dropped or hurled for maximum effect.

    Bumper.jpg

    Manly British Army Bumper

    However, if you're talking about the girlie (and RAF) electric floor polisher then you are quite correct, it is unwieldy and has no aerodynamic properties meaning that over a drop greater than a couple of feet accuracy is impossible, even with target painting. (thanks Spaz)

    4Wayne_floor_buffer.jpg

    Girly (and RAF) Electric Buffer (demonstrated by US Army)
     
  9. ..................

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    I'd like to spend an afternoon walloping him with a big steel ladle...... then nail his hands to a tree and set about him with a strip of cheap laminate flooring, edge on.
     
  11. You wouldn't need to take a trip to the QMs I would gladly lend you my waxed and immaculately bulled size 11 Drill Boots for this task. I'm sure they'd be good for many hours of kicking, stamping and shuffling. They time it would take me to restore them to their previous condition would be one of satisfied contemplation, as I gently removed any remaining clumps of hair from the studs.
     
  12. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    Continual right, left and about turning at the halt on his face in said boots would be joyous both to watch and to take part in.

    Almost stiff at the prospect of a beautifully demonstrated changed step during a mark time on his cheek bones.
     
  13. Better still a WRAC with no knickers on marking time on his face, the constant dandruff shower will drive him mad!
     
  14. Following his assistance in the impromptu drill session, I'd like to see his twitching frame dragged into the Gymnasium and laid out in front of a box. I'd then watch rapturously as a platoon of spotty recruits in huge v-necked baggy red t-shirts lined up to use him as a springboard for a full 30 minutes of gymnastics.