I'd like to bum a certain little girl

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Porridge_gun, Dec 10, 2011.

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  1. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    Its very rare I find myself attracted to birds under 25, they are usually brain dead or so unbelievably dull you'd die of boredom within moments of them stopping texting and facebooking their moronic friends.

    My nipper has turned 8 this week, therefore that means Spongebob is redundant and she is hooked on programmes like i-carly, Big Time Rush and Victorious.

    A couple or three weeks ago, she was playing on the floor with some modelling clay, being the caring doting Daddy I was creating phalic objects, safely hidden by the newspaper. When I looked up I caught sight of one of the prettiest things I'd seen in a long time. So much so I didn't hear what the nipper was saying, I just sat cuntstruck at a teenager on the tele.

    Clearly I did the decent thing before I began to imagine spooning her anus out, I went straight to the Wikipedia to make sure she wasn't 14, thankfully for the sake of signing on a register she was 19, which although is far too young for a 39 year old love machine, I still managed to imagine her in ten different positions before coughing my yoghurt.

    Tori Vega is the bird I'm on about, if she looks this good at 19 whats she going to be like at 25 when she knows her way round a cock.


    Its fair to say I'd give a finger, a toe, a bollock, an ear and a shiver off the end of my tongue for an afternoon of savage bum raping her. Thats an ear more than I opted to give for a Ride on Nicole Scherzinger.


    If I don't post for a while, I'm watching 'victorious' on repeat with my nipper, attempting to hide my erection and lust (not for my nipper of course - we just deep kiss)

    Has anyone else ever been tempted to bugger a child. LJH needn't answer if still around.
    • Like Like x 3
  2. You've just got a thing for Cheryl Cole and she is a Cheryl Cole walt
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Fuck, you beat me to it!!!!
  4. Mug

    Mug Clanker

    Reminds me of Bree Olson!
  5. Jesus, PG, I've visions of you and your cancer ravished body spuzzing over your Dell laptop, thinking of this poor minx now.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Oh fucking cheers RC, that's a mental picture I NEVER wanted in my head!!!
  7. I bought a pair of these today, and will be putting them in a pair of small Ron Hills. Footjobs for BC tomorrow

    The Sensual Sexy Love Foot - for the foot lovers

    Oh, on topic, nice bird, I like that one off Corrie, the youngun not Deirdre.

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  8. I've just plodded downstairs for a can and the wife has got x factor on. I couldn't help wondering what the chubby one from the girl band would look like with a mouth full of man custard. Like a sexy chipmunk she is.

    I'm safety back upstairs looking for pics of her in a state of undress and failing miserably.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. I find i-Carly to be one of the few upsides of having a one year old (because let's be honest, a clean house that doesn't smell like shit for 65% of the day, lie ins and long relaxing nights sleep aren't). The TV being on the kiddies' channels for twelve hours a day have opened my eyes to a whole new world of thrapping content. The missus asked why i-Carly was on series link - "for the little man babe, he loves it for some reason".

    The little man does, but not the one runs round my living room stuffing cooked ham into the DVD player. I've almost ripped my bellend off several times watching those jailbait looking whores.
  10. Nah, when i was 19 i was banging the living shit out of a 41 year old three times a day for 4 months....and this was when i was fit as fuck not the "fat but pretty" chick i am now, so fear not there is hope for you yet you old twat.
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Natalie Imbruglia wil be gutted when she hears you're over her.
  12. i wonder whagt her farts smells like


  13. [​IMG]

    I think this one is prettier though, you'd probably like her too as she looks quite similar. I have a huge weakness for petite brunettes with fine features and nice butts. The bleach blonde and orange skin doesn't do anything for me.
  14. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    Never, I love her so much I can't wee or poo.

    Apart from me being forced to hate her when she stupidly attempted to be blonde, didn't suit her.

    A blonde who would definatley find herself at the receiving end of my angered stump is the bird who plays JJ in Criminal minds. When its on I want to leap into the Tele and rub gun oil into her busters.
  15. Definately, much more innocence about her....hhhmmm