The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize - and decode - these KEY "SIGNS." Figuring out these moronic little indicators can save you a lot of time and effort. 1. Woman won't unlock car door for man - Doesn't engage in oral sex 2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman - No foreplay 3. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant - Prefers virgins 4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way - Is a virgin 5. Can't hail a cab - Impotent 6. Insists on going to a homely little cafe with windmill motif - Compulsive Don Quixote 7. Insists on going to a romantic candle-lit restaurant - Compulsive Don Juan 8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar - Compulsive Don Ho 9. Wants to go to a French restaurant - Will swallow 10. Wants to go to a deli - Won't swallow 11. Takes too long deciding what to order - Has trouble reaching orgasm 12. Orders salad dressing on the side - Will give you a hand job, but will not go "all the way" 13. Gives explicit orders to waiter - Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed 14. Asks for extra rolls - Will say she is using birth control when she's not, will get pregnant and sue 15. Insists on ordering for you, referring to you as "The lady will have..." - Thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't 16. Asks for "The Usual" - Insists on missionary position only 17. Asks what the specials are - Will want you to use handcuffs 18. Fills up on bread and crackers - Premature ejaculation 19. Doesn't finish everything on plate - Has already come 20. Insists on having some of whatever you ordered - Will make you sleep on the wet spot 21. Changes mind after ordering - Will never call you 22. Changes tables - Nymphomaniac 23. Drinks Decaffeinated. - Fakes Orgasm (Female) 24. Orders in French - Fakes Orgasm (Male) 25. Sends food back - Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, then try to borrow money 26. Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts - Needs you to talk dirty during sex 27. Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers - Wants a handjob 28. Orders a dessert involving nuts - Castrating Bitch 29. Wants to split dessert - Is dying to get rid of her apartment, move in with you, rearrange all your closets, and take down all your baseball posters 30. Credit card is refused - Low sperm count 31. Under tips waiter - Small penis 32. Under tips parking valet - Small penis 33. Under tips cabby - Small penis 34. Uses toothpick - Is trying to tell you size isn't everything 35. Removable cassette player in car - Pulls out repeatedly during sex 36. Cellular phone in car - Penile implant Hope that this helps you!! xxx ps maybe I should have just posted this straight in the sin bin and save the MODS from getting RSI?