i want to spice up our sex life! help please

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by dizzy_blonde, Jun 30, 2005.

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  1. Things have been getting a bit dull in the bedroom and I want to introduce my friend the rampant rabbit! Is this likely to damage his ego or will it be a welcome edition? Any other suggestions would be gratefully received!
  2. Why not let him do you up the hoop while you diddle yourself with the rabbit? He might be a bit insulted though, so throw in a few beers and a pie to sweeten the deal. 8)
  3. Nothing wrong with a rabbit. I wasn't convinced by the floppy ears though so I went for the dolphin. It concentrates the vibration with pinpoint accuracy :) Oh, and 7 levels of fun. Works a damn treat! :twisted:
  4. Ask your best mate to join in.
  5. Since you allude to the fact that your friend is a 'guy ' I suggest you introduce the device as an addition to his 'tool collection '..this means he should be allowed to ignore the instruction booklet and given time to take it apart and put it back together again with his own ' improvements ' and customization [ flame decals, headers, fat tires, fuzzy dice, turbo charge speed options, ] so you should have a factory fresh back-up avaiulable for when he short curcuits himself in tweaking the new toy...

    Once he feels proprietary over the item he'll embrace its ability to ' assist' his performance..if you merely introduce it as' here, use this ' [ thus marginalizing his masculinity, he'll retreat in a big pouty huff to the couch, turn on the all guy channel and watch soccer, car racing and other macho extreme sports ]and you'll be left to use the plaything all on your own...

    then again...
  6. what if i show him my best friend using it on me do you think it might sway him?

    and as for letting him take it apart he cant even change the fuse in a plug.
  7. Oh yes.

    'scuse me, I must just,...... errrm, back in a minute. 8O
  8. I can change fuses in plugs, as well as light bulbs, and I can make tea on a good day too.

    Why don't you and your best friend show me your rabbit instead? I'm clearly a far more together sort of bloke. :lol:
  9. i didnt know light bulbs had fuses 303 lol
    get the kettle on!
  10. what about something a bit smaller then the rabbit! a little lipstick sized one! would that be a little less Intimidating? i just want to try something new. i have done the dressing up thing and it worked a treat but i am on tour at the moment so i need something a little more discrete! you boys have any tips?
  11. Any medium-sized mammal given the right narcotics makes an excellent marital aid, especially in emergencies.

    Good luck!

  12. A mobile phone in a condom is always a good bet. If you ask him nicely, he might leave to tied to the bed with it gaffa taped over your gash while he goes to the pub.....from where he can phone you now and again. :)

    Not that I've ever done anything like that of course. :twisted:
  13. Waste of time, you might as well press yourself against the corner of a hamster's cage while he's lazily pushing his wheel with one disinterested foot..
  14. i like the mobile phone idea imagine his face when i say " darling would you mind cuffing me, taping my mobile to my foo foo and fcuking off to the pub for an hour where you have to ring on a every other minute basis"

    all my problems are solved!
  15. do you have experiences with hamsters stained? have you done the hamster in your bum thing? does it hurt?