I want to join but my wife says NO

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#1
Hey Everyone! I am new to this type of thing but i need some advice. I have tried 3 other times to join the military. 1st time when i was 18 my dad said, NO! go to college. so i did. 2nd time i was rejected because i had by knees and they didn't need people to join at the time. 3rd time was last year, i was all good and then i pulled a hernia and had surgery.

so i've talked with a recruiter and they said i'm good to go health wise BUT my wife says NO! She grew up without a Dad and Mom and now we have a 2 year old. She just wants a NORMAL life. I had a mom and dad and had a normal life..... i want something different and i want to go out and do big things and have better opportunity! I have 2 brothers in the Active Army. I want to go to the Guard or Reserves... She is afraid that i'll always be gone and will get deployed. I'm all good on the deployed side. If i take the college loan from the military would that exempt me from being deployed at least the first 3 years? that way she gets used to the whole military thing and then once that is done if i get deployed its not that big of a deal? how do i "convince" her that it will better Me as a person and in return will better our family and future?
 
#4
Take a look back at the first time - your Dad said no, but you were 18 so legally whatever your Dad said had exactly no influence whatsoever on the outcome. You could have said 'sorry/f**k you, Dad but I'm an adult, I'll do what I like'. Seems like you'll never be a 'hasbeen' just a 'neverwas'
 
#5
Yeah, you're on a British site here mate. I can tell you all about what sort of things your wife would have to deal with as a spouse to a British serviceman, but despite the overlap there will be marked differences rendering most advice obsolete. Sorry bud!

I will however say that you will most likely forever regret not doing it if you don't. It does change you as a person, and beats the snowflake out of you in very short order. I'd recommend it to anyone.
 
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#6
If that's your wife's position, your choice is straightforward. You either:
a/ pursue your aspiration to join up and she walks out on you with your child,
b/ pursue your aspiration to join up and she walks out on you, leaving you to look after your child,
c/ keep talking about it rationally until one or other of you changes their viewpoint, or
d/ to maintain your marriage and a settled life, you drop the idea and never bring it up again.
 
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#8
Join the Civil Air Patrol, that way the mrs only has to worry about you falling out of the sky and making a nice big smoking hole in the ground.......
 
#12
Get a new wife and child that are Army friendly.
 
#13
Hey Everyone! I am new to this type of thing but i need some advice. I have tried 3 other times to join the military. 1st time when i was 18 my dad said, NO! go to college. so i did. 2nd time i was rejected because i had by knees and they didn't need people to join at the time. 3rd time was last year, i was all good and then i pulled a hernia and had surgery.

so i've talked with a recruiter and they said i'm good to go health wise BUT my wife says NO! She grew up without a Dad and Mom and now we have a 2 year old. She just wants a NORMAL life. I had a mom and dad and had a normal life..... i want something different and i want to go out and do big things and have better opportunity! I have 2 brothers in the Active Army. I want to go to the Guard or Reserves... She is afraid that i'll always be gone and will get deployed. I'm all good on the deployed side. If i take the college loan from the military would that exempt me from being deployed at least the first 3 years? that way she gets used to the whole military thing and then once that is done if i get deployed its not that big of a deal? how do i "convince" her that it will better Me as a person and in return will better our family and future?
Find Your State | National Guard

Try that first.
If your unit is slated for deployment you will get to go, granted the Guard shoots for once every 5 years now.... Depending on your MOS. Some units however will deploy as much their active counterparts fyi. The most deployed Wyoming Army Guard unit are the gents in G Company 2-211 aviation "Cowboy Dustoff" who are in high demand. Just some food for thought.
 
#15
Do as you please , if you dont join you`ll regret it for the rest rest or your life and end up despising your wife and leaving her.
 
#16
Hey Everyone! I am new to this type of thing but i need some advice. I have tried 3 other times to join the military. 1st time when i was 18 my dad said, NO! go to college. so i did. 2nd time i was rejected because i had by knees and they didn't need people to join at the time. 3rd time was last year, i was all good and then i pulled a hernia and had surgery.

so i've talked with a recruiter and they said i'm good to go health wise BUT my wife says NO! She grew up without a Dad and Mom and now we have a 2 year old. She just wants a NORMAL life. I had a mom and dad and had a normal life..... i want something different and i want to go out and do big things and have better opportunity! I have 2 brothers in the Active Army. I want to go to the Guard or Reserves... She is afraid that i'll always be gone and will get deployed. I'm all good on the deployed side. If i take the college loan from the military would that exempt me from being deployed at least the first 3 years? that way she gets used to the whole military thing and then once that is done if i get deployed its not that big of a deal? how do i "convince" her that it will better Me as a person and in return will better our family and future?

So you've wanted to do this since you were 18. Did you tell her that and discuss what your lifestyle together would be, before you got married? It's perfectly reasonable for her not to want it. While you may be "doing big things" elswhere than home, will she be expected to hold a job and raise your small child without your presence? How about finding a challenging and character-forming vocation that doesn't require the kind of commitment required of soldiers?
 
#18
Whatever you do join (if you’re allowed), never mention what you have on here about your dad and wife forbidding you from signing on. But if you’re a masochist, tell everyone you train with the tale and I am sure thety will comfort and console you and never take the pïss out of you.....
 
#19
Whatever you do join (if you’re allowed), never mention what you have on here about your dad and wife forbidding you from signing on. But if you’re a masochist, tell everyone you train with the tale and I am sure thety will comfort and console you and never take the pïss out of you.....
It must be early in the marriage, my wife would look forward to my absence. She has my shit packed and ready to go for hunting in the fall....
 
#20
It must be early in the marriage, my wife would look forward to my absence. She has my shit packed and ready to go for hunting in the fall....
I wasn’t married during my time in, I was too busy enjoying life and having fun to fcuk it up by marriage, waited till I left to ruin my life....
 
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