I want to be all grown up and clever like a pilot.

#1
i was thinking the other day that i would like to be all grown up and clever like those pilot types i see walking around.


ive already forget to iron my uniform, i eat pies and walk around like i own the place and talk down to people.

any other tips??
 
#3
Assume that any girl you meet must want your sex, even if she is with her boyfriend/fiance/the father of her children...

Tell everyone you meet you are a pilot, even if they pretend to not be interested...fibbers!

Drive your civvy car as if the rules of the road are meant for some lesser being, not possessed of your super-human reflexes and powers of co-ordination...

Always decline that last drink with a loud "Sorry no thank you, I'm flying tomorrow!"
 
#4
Leave the sigs section and become a bowser mong. Women love a good bowsermong war story because such tales of derring do are usually truthful and not a load of bollock5 like the ones aircrew luvvies and sigsection wannabees tend to use..
 
#5
Whats up? Missus got spit roasted by a couple of pilots?


sigs-rule, I think you've already reached your ceilling.

Any other tips?

Yep. Stop acting all bitter and twisted. You make yourself sound jealous. :wink: Dont be. Not everyone can be a god like figure.
 
#6
Don't shut any doors or windows it's fine security will get them for ya !!!

Always forget your i/d. It has your real age on it and people will find out your real age not the one you tried saying you are!!!!!

Oh and the extra white toothpaste and the ping sound effect on your phone to go with smile...

You will do just fine with these and always have your phone stuck to your ear as well

Good luck....lol
 
#7
Big watch, with lots of dials, you need a big watch.....
 
#10
Erus_Micoviscus said:
PartTimePongo said:
Big watch, with lots of dials, you need a big watch.....


.....and we can afford several too........ ;)


Mmm. The Breilting or the Omega tomorrow? Decisions, decisions.....
Breitling surely, the ones with built in distress transmitters - and of course you need two; one with the mil freq when flying for MoD and the other with the civvy freq when moonlighting.
 
#11
Always wear your flying suit even if your not flying that day or you have finished a days work....................

not that Pilots do any work
 
#12
Erus_Micoviscus said:
PartTimePongo said:
Big watch, with lots of dials, you need a big watch.....


.....and we can afford several too........ ;)


Mmm. The Breilting or the Omega tomorrow? Decisions, decisions.....
Myth which none of you WAFUs have yet realised:

You don't get paid more, you just get paid faster........
 
#13
The difficulty of "wanting to be a pilot" is that you really have to have been born into the species.

Do not believe pilots are like other people. They are actually a distinct sub-species of Homo Sapiens and have been created in a secret breeding programme in a laboratory in the South East. Skilled scientists have managed, over the years, to introduce special characteristics to the breed. These include 'invincibility', 'self-confidence' and an irresistible attraction towards bright objects attached with Velcro.

If you are not specially bred for the task, it is occasionally possible for common mortals to be come pilots. However, the procedure can be prolonged and painful.

Instead, you could adopt a pilot as a pet. With persistence they can be house-trained to an acceptable standard, and require very little exercise. There are many pilots looking for a home ... could YOU help give one a new lease of life?
 
#15
blue_sophist said:
Instead, you could adopt a pilot as a pet. With persistence they can be house-trained to an acceptable standard, and require very little exercise. There are many pilots looking for a home ... could YOU help give one a new lease of life?
And remember a pilot is for life not just christmas!!!! :D






























I'll et my coat thank you and good night you've been a fantasic audience
 
#16
SparkySteve said:
Are you house trained, or does your butler sort out your chamber pot??
I was not bred to be a pilot, but against the odds become a private one.
Alas, I was a reject from the military training programme.
I then enrolled on a BSc in bladder-control, which worked well in concert with the Velcro Aversion-Therapy module from a well-known American University.
In that way I became a continent one ... I assume that's better than "No man is an island"?
 
#17
blue_sophist said:
In that way I became a continent one ... I assume that's better than "No man is an island"?
Continent not an island? How typical of a pilot's ego...
 
#19
when on some sort of e and e exercise attempt to take on an entire stab platoon with your awesome kung fu skills.
unfortunately said stab platoon not involved in ex looking for aircrew and not interested.
although did offer aicrew an brew and something to eat as there harbour area was where aircrew had decided to hide and did give the real hunter force misdirection
 

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