I want revenge

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ralf, Mar 21, 2006.

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  1. Anyone got any good ideas how to reap revenge on a road rager? I was driving home with Mrs and bin lid in car and whilst on a dual carriage way,(nearing the end) this fat cow decided to over take me. At no point did the fat heffer decide to accelerate but she started to shave the front end of my fanny magnet, because the road ahead narrowed and approching traffic were obivously starting to count down to the impact. After swerving up the curb and a quick flash of my head lights the the fat bitch gives me the w@nkers sign. I wouldnt mind but fat c:unt had bingo wings, hanging down like a horses saddle. Now I know why she didnt accelerate, because her Ford Escort must of been maxed out, red lining to pull her fat arse weight along.

    A little further up the road fat f@ck decided to resume normal driving conditions. Up ahead was the start of another dual carriage way so I decided to accelerate so I could pass fat f@ck and wish her well!!. Just as I was starting to get close the the fat f@cker pulls right in front of me and slams on the brakes and and drives on. At this point I would of opened up my .50 on the bitch but i left my Land Rover at work. I did notice that fat f@cker had a For Sale sign in the back window, so being a good little Solider that I am, I jotted down the Mobile Number.

    One thrashed Ford Escort For Sale.
  2. Give the number to everybody on ARRSE???
  3. Get a load of Business cards made up offering French Lessons, Massages etc etc etc and leave them in every public toilet, bar or public telephone box you see.
  4. Well, you could ring her up, ask to test drive her car, and then accidentally run it into a wall or similar. Not that I would advocatesuch a course of action, mind....
  5. Phone her,pretend to want car,get address,phone local pikey diyers/driveway tarmacers etc,book work in her name,fun and games when she comes home to unwanted work/large bill.
  6. Get a load of Business cards made up offering French Lessons, Massages etc etc etc and leave them in every public toilet, bar or public telephone box you see.
  7. Sign her up for all of those expensive ring tones/pictures etc.
  8. Send her a text message stating that her husband is having an affair at work, works a treat. No end of misery in the bingo wing household...
  9. AF 1771,
    ##### ###### (MOD WARNING)
  10. Use said number to find out where she lives.
    Pop round and scratch the car...
    oh and don't forget to torch her house too.
  11. give her a call saying you are from a driving school and offer lessons saying youve seen her driving and, even allowing for the fact that shes a woman, nobody that bad should be on the road.
  12. Message sent, I wont print it, it's way to strong.
  13. Just got a reply, seems it's a wrong number! Just abused some poor innocent.... ah well, no harm done.
  14. Well the missus if at work all night so I am going to spend a amusing night abusing the fat bitch via the medium of txt message....

    Somtimes its the simple things that give so much enjoyment :lol:
  15. The knob jocky just phoned me!!!! Turns out he lent the car to someone! Told me to come round his house and sort it face to face!! Bit hard going judging by his accent, sounded way too south for me, London area me thinks, any takers????