I think this is worth the stretch....

#1
Sorry if you've covered this, but I'm at work and cba to do a search :p


BBC News - Manchester riots: Doughnut thief jailed for 16 months

Good drills shown here: "The serial offender went to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous before downing a bottle of sherry and stumbling into Krispy Kreme in Piccadilly Gardens"

That's just class :)

"He was caught with a box of doughnuts when 20 riot officers arrived"

This guy has got style and panache....Thomas Downey - Darwin Award and Nobel Prize all rolled into one - you heard it here first

:)
 
#2
I thought this was just rumour control working overtime when I heard about this in custody (There were lots of people referring to it as custard over the radio at the time).

Genius!
 
#4
The sentenced include Jordan Kelly (20), of Kerswell Walk, Newton Heath, who was jailed for six months for going equipped after officers found him with a balaclava and a bin liner.
 
#6
I heard the arresting officer was Chief Inspector Clancy Wiggum
 
#8
And from the same source I think this deserves a massive "D'oh !!" as well

" Biniam Tekle, 21 ... mugger given 2yrs for robbing exhausted special constable as he trudged home after tackling rioting gangs for 15 hours. Tekle snatched 51-year-old Andrew Hill's briefcase and a bag containing his uniform, London's Wood Green Crown Court heard"
 
#9
We get all the class acts in Manchester..........
 
#10
#12
What did they get you for?
Double time for two of the ten shifts I did. Unfortunately they quickly changed back to the usual tactic of cancelling all rest days but it was nice whilst it lasted.
 
#14
The sentenced include Jordan Kelly (20), of Kerswell Walk, Newton Heath, who was jailed for six months for going equipped after officers found him with a balaclava and a bin liner.
Are you sure it wasn't Five_Alpha going equipped for an evening of recreational raping?


Arrsers beware what sort of equipment you carry on you!
 
#15
The sentenced include Jordan Kelly (20), of Kerswell Walk, Newton Heath, who was jailed for six months for going equipped after officers found him with a balaclava and a bin liner.
I thought he'd been buried at sea, or was it one of his relatives?
 

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