I said to the wife

I said to the wife you should go out without a bra more often she giggled ooh does it make you fancy me because its a bit naughty, not at all i replied it doesnt half pull the wrinkles out of your face
My wife wasn't too well recently so I took her to the doctor. He examined her and said; "I'm afraid she's got Dyson Syndrome"

"What the fuck is that?" says I

"It means she doesn't suck and just whines all the time!"
The wife came home early the other day and found me in bed with Fatima Whitbread and went mad. "Love it isn't what it looks like!" Ipleaded with her. "Oh really well what is it then." "It's a woman."
I said to the wife- "God you're a stupid fucking cunt". She got very hostile.

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