I present this for your delectation...

Discussion in 'Waltenkommando' started by Biscuits_Brown, Nov 29, 2012.

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  1. I've met this chap a couple of times and when I heard the name I connected it with a rather more lurid version of the 'military' aspect of his story which was published in one of the "survival" comics in the early Eighties (at which time I was in my early teens, okay?) but the circumstances of our meets did not allow for any questioning on my part.

    I don't suppose it needs mentioned that he's odder than oddicidal oddopath?

    But then that's not uncommon.

    Ran across this article and it refreshed my memory, I actually thought I'd brought the subject up on here before but nothing thrown up on the search.

    Can anyone shed any light?


    Original here - http://carlyflorentine.com/features.html
     
  2. Scores high on the bizarre scale and actually quite funny; a Walt in the old fashioned sense of the word. However, no evidence that he got to kick Carly's back doors in as a result of his tales.
     

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  3. What you might call a "character".
     
  4. "In 1969, though I don't have any documents to prove this (framed documents that prove many of his assertions deck the walls of his living room as well as letters from the Queen and Downing Street)- I was in the SASS special squadron, they made a film on it called' Juggernaut', what happened was in 1969, a terrorist put a bomb on Queen Elizabeth II, they didn't know what to do, so they came to me and asked me to volunteer. Me and another guy, they made us lieutenants, we put on a parachute, did five minutes training in an old barn. I hadn't the faintest idea how to dispose of a bomb but they chucked us out over the Atlantic and that was that! It turns out there wasn't a bomb but the people in this country in positions of authority used to have a saying 'you've got to put on a good show', parachuting, it’s not really my cup of tea."

    Nah.....It was a lot later than 1969. The guy who jumped was an ATO in the RAOC and was already a Captain. Known forever afterwards as "Web-Foot Wi*****s. It was true he had no parachute training apart from a few minutes at Brize Norton immediately prior to take-off, I believe. He was accompanied by "Them" whose mission was to "get him on board at all costs". I don't think there were two ATOs/ATs. He was awarded a MID, IIRC. Afterwards, he was, so the story goes, offered a free cruise for two on the QE2. Being unmarried he took his mother!!!! All the wives thought that was wonderful of him. All the husbands thought: "What a prat!"

    Google is my friend. It was 1972.
     
  5. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    [​IMG]

    My, what big eyes you have.
     
  6. FFS, he must be related to Shortt arse.
     
  7. Did he perchance tell you to "[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around the eyes, look into my eyes.[/FONT]"?
    Kennycraig.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. I hadn't realised that Robert Rankin was writing a documentary, not a novel;

    Hugo Rune - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Rune's AccomplishmentsRune's list of apparent accomplishments is equally remarkable. If all available sources are to be believed, he has walked the earth as Nostradamus, Uther Pendragon (although he also reveals himself to have been Merlin), Count Cagliostro and Rodrigo Borgia, can open a tin of sardines with his teeth, strike a Swan Vesta on his chin, rope steers, drive a steam locomotive, hum all the works of Gilbert & Sullivan without becoming confused or breaking down in tears, was taught how to stop his heart by the Dalai Lama (In exchange for teaching him how to play darts), once climbed Mount Everest in a smoking jacket and plus-fours to win a bet with Oscar Wilde, swam the Atlantic Ocean to win a bet with Humphrey Bogart, reinvented the ocarina- thus giving it more holes and allowing it to open portals to the aforementioned 'Forbidden Zones'-, an expert swordsman, a gourmet chef, a world traveller, poet, painter, stigmatist, guru to gurus and hater of Bud Abbott.

    Rune has also claimed the personal friendship of many well-known figures in history and society as a whole, his list including the likes of H.G. Wells/Arthur Conan Doyle (Portrayed as the same person, with Wells being the 'real' identity due to an elaborate bet in university getting out of hand), Charles Babbage, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, Sigmund Freud (A conversation with Freud actually resulting in the Sultan of Brunei acquiring his wealth when Rune attempted to prove that one of the really wonderful things in this world is to be in the right place at the right time), Pope Pius XII (Allegedly Rune was responsible for him joining the priesthood; he was originally interested in football, but he had a weak left foot), George Orwell (Although Orwell was a member of the secret society that knew about the Forbidden Zones and hence was not entirely trustworthy), Albert Enstein (He claims to have taught Einstein everything he knew, but adds that Einstein made it all out to be more complicated than it really is to make himself appear smarter), Salvador Dalí, Ernest Hemingway, and many others. He is also known as a detective, having been recorded as working with Sherlock Holmes on at least one occasion- although he implies that there were other collaborations- and demonstrating some significant prowess at solving mysteries in "The Brightonomicon" (Although many of these were solved thanks to Rune's knowledge of secret facts about the world that only he is truly aware of).
     
  9. Top spot OP and I am not sure whether this is a wind up or not, but what a read.
    So, to summarise. He calls himself Dr Jack, is bisexual, has red facial hair and conducts Ghost tours around London.
    Amongst other things to numerous to mention, he is a Historian, Magician, 3rd degree witch, Shaman, Master of Yoga, vampire hunter, physic detective, actor, ventriloquist, conjurer, Security specialist (!), Pharmacist, Herbalist, Doctor of Metaphysics and Divinity, a Knights Templar of the order of St Gregory, a Nigerian King and a convert to Islam.
    Apparantly he has served in the military and is technically still a member of the Beds and Herts Regiment as he has never been formally discharged. However, he was medically discharged from the Royal Marines at the age of 13, passing himself off as 18 years old!! He also helped out the SAS a few years later, but "has no documentation to prove it".
    He worked for the MOD for 21 years, but doesn't specify what his role was - MGS on the main door perhaps?
    He was an acquaintance of the Krays and seems to have been present at one of the murders and if that is not enough credit with the criminal fraternity, he is also an expert in Jack the Ripper.
    To top it all, in his role as a Physic detective, he has been in contact with amongst others, poor little Maddie, who is apparently underground "next to something furry"!

    Is this guy real? What a cnut!
     
  10. AFAIK it's not a wind-up, apart from the obvious. The original story I read had him teaching the use of English Long Bow to SF types, handy for snuffing sentries and the like.

    On the other hand, he always seems to be surrounded by young-ish women.
     
  11. Why would you use a long bow, when a compound is more powerful and far more accurate.
     
  12. Because you can trace your bloodline back to the original John of Locksley of course!
    And Vlad Tepes, Jack The Ripper....
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Fuck me that read was hard work.

    He sounds wonderful though, very accomplished!
     
  14. I suppose that's what walting on such an epic scale does for you. Anyway, despite all his so-called qualifications, I bet, unlike me, he hasn't got the MST and ECDL - lightweight!
     
  15. Bet he hasn't got his cycling proficiency or 30yds breaststroke certificates.