I only meant it as a joke..............

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Door_Bundle_Mk2, Dec 11, 2004.

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  1. I'm sat here on a Saturday night nursing a broken leg, 2 cracked ribs and an erection (nothing to do with my injuries but I've just seen Sharon Osbourne) and I've been thinking, have you ever meant something genuinely as a joke and it's turned out catastrophic for the victim?
    A long time ago when I shared a 4 man room, one of my room mates bought a tropical fish tank and all the works, filters, heaters etc.
    He went home for the weekend and I was bored so I had a play with his fish, normal stuff like smacking them over the head with the heater element and trying to knock them unconscious.
    I'd succesfully brained quite a number when I inadvertantly broke the end off the heater element. I hurriedly dropped it back in the water and thought "why haven't the fish been electrocuted" when i realised that they wouldn't be as they weren't earthed and my mind went into over drive.
    I went next door and got a mate called Geordie to come into the room. He fancied himself as a master fish keeper so I told him that I was looking after the fish and that I thought their water was too cold for them. Could he use his fishy experience and feel the heat of the water?
    He readily agreed and after a lecture about the optimum temperature for keeping guppies, stuffed his arm in the water.
    There was a loud crack, a flash and Geordie collapsed on the floor twitching. That sight was bad enough but it was also coupled with embarrasment as I noticed he'd swamped himself.
    Thus followed a few tense moments as I mentally prepared statements to give to the RMP who would arrest me for manslaughter when Geordie came to muttering "what happened?"
    I explained that he'd flicked the heater, breaking it, nearly killed himself and that he now owed the owner £10 for a replacement.
    Geordie, god bless him willingly paid up and I agreed not to tell anyone about his stupidity.
    Was I wrong? Maybe, but I saved myself a tenner.
  2. You're feeling guilty because Geordie has caught up with you, broken your leg, and cracked 2 ribs ?

    You were wrong, and it still haunts you :twisted:
  3. Of course I wasn't wrong, he was a northern monkey and only thing that haunts me is the vision of your mother lowering herself over my mouth.
  4. Here, have a Brick. You're short a load 8)
  5. Yeah right, you meant Kelly AND Jack!!!!

    And I bet it wasn't fish but you were trying to make a mini door bundle with your room mates hamsters and his black masking tape!!!!
  6. Good drills Door Bundle.

    Once again I find a tear of pride welling in my eye :D
  7. Reminds me of the time I did the old 'bucket of water above the door' trick to a mate. Only problem, instead of the bucket tipping over and soaking him, the whole fecking thing, full of water, fell on his head and concussed him. Ooops!
  8. Yes I am. The load I covered your mums fallopian tubes with :D
  9. Have another Brick. you're still short.
  10. This might help you with your boredom, and also your Mum fetish :lol:

  11. Whats wrong with milfs like? :twisted:
  12. Stiflers mum is a prime piece of MILF as opposed to Euan, Nicky and Kathryn Blairs mum :D
  13. Euan, etc's Mum, is a fecking gargoyle that even I would not do with yours, D.B.II! :wink:
  14. Would you not even be tempted to have a quick peek at her growler? Just out of curiosity like? :D
  15. Yeah, just to see if it runs horizontally! :lol: