I need work over Christmas

Mr. Bane's yer man for that
I enquired with my local insurance provider and apparently I have to get a speshul one off quote from Lloyds of London if I want him to even step into my house.
 
I can recommend, deck chair attendent. But not snow clearance.

CFB
Take an Orange from the box.
 

Yokel

LE
You better put your tree up now, and make sure your outdoor lights are up to par.

View attachment 431298

Only 5 more weeks until Christmas Eve!
I love that film - I watched it last night. Or it might have been Sunday night. I remember watching it as a kid in the middle of July and my late Uncle laughing so much he cried.

These days it just is not the same. Bah humbug!
 
I love that film - I watched it last night. Or it might have been Sunday night. I remember watching it as a kid in the middle of July and my late Uncle laughing so much he cried.

These days it just is not the same. Bah humbug!
It is a must watch during the season, which will officially start for me this weekend. It never get's old!
 
Move to the U.S - you will be lucky to have Christmas eve off!
 
Very kind of you @RIGRAT . Unfortunately my BOSIET ran out a couple of years ago, so no can do! Also gets a bit complicated with UK jobs as I live in France.
France? I thought you lived in Kenya.

Is there some other bugger with a similar avatar and name?
 

Oyibo

LE
France? I thought you lived in Kenya.

Is there some other bugger with a similar avatar and name?
Not Kenya for me chief - went there with the Army and on a couple of very short jobs since, but I do work a lot in Africa: most West and Central.
 
I work a half day Monday the 23rd and won't go back to work until Friday the 27th!! Winning!
I have 24 and 25 th off - and only got the 24th because I threw my teddy! To be fair it normally doesn't feel like Christmas in my shorts and flip flops.
 

Fake Sheikh

On ROPS
On ROPs
Right become chief cook for xmas day lunch, make it an awful lunch.
Over cooked turkey/goose with under cooked veg & strong gravy with plenty of red wine in it.
The family take pity on the wife, think you tried to poison them & vow never to come again.

Buy the wife a diamond/chocs or lacy undies depending how long you have been married.
Hey Presto no in-laws next year, perfect planning & mother in law might like you after a year.

This plan worked for me a few years ago, family still talk about how I tried to bump them off.
Not allowed in kitchen apart from the washing up & the wife still loves me.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
7 in-laws inbound to my sanctuary of peace over Christmas and New Year to turn it into a crucible of bitching, bickering, backstabbing, and blubbering.

Does anyone have any gainful employment over Christmas that I can take as an excuse to get away form the morale vacuum that will descend upon my house?
You chose to get married!
 
7 in-laws inbound to my sanctuary of peace over Christmas and New Year to turn it into a crucible of bitching, bickering, backstabbing, and blubbering.

Does anyone have any gainful employment over Christmas that I can take as an excuse to get away form the morale vacuum that will descend upon my house?
There are a number of companies looking for Security Officers at the moment. It might make a change watching people who aren't related to you bitching, bickering, backstabbing, and blubbering.
 

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