I need help on stalking allegations, female civilian

I won't post any specifics here, I just need some generic advice please. I am a civilian female.

A soldier has been stalking me for some time. I contacted the Metropolitan police but they of course had no interest in the case because he hasn't murdered or assaulted me yet. I went to see his regiment and I have been receiving help on curtailing his behaviour in specific ways (that I won't post about here). However, he has started breaking into my property.

I contacted the Met again but they are not interested in investigating the break-ins as they can't link his identity (I'm working on changing my home CCTV system to capture him properly) and they are not going to contact the regiment to follow up on my allegations that the break-ins and the stalking are linked and that it's the same person. The woman on the phone seemed to be horrified at the prospect of dealing with the Army.

My question is: who would have jurisdiction over a soldier within the British Army in this context? The Military Police? If so, how do I contact them as a civilian? I need to be able to speak to people who are able to assess his conduct in its entirety.

Thank you.
 
If he's broken into your property then it's definitely a Metpol matter.
Don't allow them to fob you off. One question though.
Is he a former partner, if so it'll fall under domestic violence legislation. Some of the serving police officers on here will know far more about that than me though.
 

mrdude

War Hero
How do we know the OP isn't just some mental ex-GF with an 'axe to grind', because she didn't like the way she was dumped?

We don't know that, and there's always two sides to any story. However with the amount of CCTV in London, I'm sure if the OP is telling the truth the police will be able to sort it out. I know a guy that spent 6 months in prison for stalking his ex-GF so it does happen.

Also at the OP, you can go to a lawyer and get an injunction to keep your ex away from you, then the police will need to act and can't fob you off if you complain.

 

See Policing Enquiries.

My advice is to have your evidence all lined up BEFORE you call. If you whine about a bunch of circumstantial stuff, with no concrete evidence, it will likely be NFA'd. Then when/if something else occurs, perhaps more serious, the RMP will have a preconception of the situation, and not in your favour.

Get your ducks in a row.
 
They should be doing more, the Stalking Protection act 2019 came into force in March.


Chase this up with them, it may also be worthwhile seeking legal advice to take a restraining order out on him through the civil courts.

in the meantime keep a diary of events to produce as evidence.

Take up some self defence classes, it’s well worth it anyway. Try Krav Maga, it’s ideal for the urban situation where you don’t have time for polite bows and rolling round on mats making silly noises.
 
+1 to what dingerr said. Note and record as much as you can. Write to your MP. They will be busy right now, but anything can help. I assume you are in London, write to the mayors office as they are responsible for policing in London. If you know your ex’s regiment and take out a restraining order, have a copy sent to his Commanding Officer.
I don’t want to panic you, but if you believe your ex is breaking into your premises this is serious. Let your friends and family know so they can watch out for you.
And you may have to be persistent. Don’t give up if your complaints are not looked into.
Good luck and I hope this is resolved soon.
 
It is a police matter. However, you can embarrass the army into action too with noises of negative publicity - just take it as high as you can.

With the police do not be fobbed off. Contact their divisional HQ and make an appointment to speak to the top cop running the division. If you can only get as high as shift inspector you will have to accept that, but in either case point out that if anything untoward should happen to you due to their lack of action your solicitor will have a record of your meeting with the police and will move forward on that.

As @dingerr said keep a diary of events and notes of conversations made during meetings/events, or as soon as possible afterwards. Sometimes it pays to make copies of the notes to keep as working copies, then place the originals in an envelope and send them to yourself by recorded mail. Leave them sealed until there is any legal action - that way it does not look like you have sat up the night before writing a story as evidence.
 
A soldier has been stalking me for some time. I contacted the Metropolitan police but they of course had no interest in the case because he hasn't murdered or assaulted me yet.
So its just a waiting game then?
 
Thank you very much everyone. I changed the locks a while ago to a particular type of security lock by a proper locksmith (ie not some mate) and he broke in a couple of days later. I suppose he saw that as a challenge.

I have a detailed diary going back to August this year with time and specific locations noted. This is why the regiment and the MoD Police took my allegations seriously, he has been stalking me using MoD equipment - which he isn't able to do so quite as freely anymore.

However to the Met, it seems to be circumstantial evidence because they have no concept of how this equipment should be used. This is why I tried to get them to talk to the regiment or the MoD police but they are not prepared to, they seemed to be incredulous that I would even suggest such a thing.

It's the MoD police that told me to contact the Met regarding the break ins. Their nature is more tame it used to be, he stole my underwear once but since my visit to his base, he has dialed back the scare factor quite considerably.

However, as most people know, escalation over time is the issue.

I looked into having injunction taken out in civil court, I had thought you could only do it in a criminal court. I have contacted a solicitor regarding it, thank you for the suggestion.
 
As usual Arssers have come up with several apparently sensible courses of actions to take, surprisingly no ribaldry or suggestions of "photos or it didn't happen" type humour which some posters have been met with.
I hope that at least one of the sensible suggestions has been taken with good results. It would be nice for you to update us at a later date & tell us the result!
 
Not wanting to alarm you but Xmas block leave is coming up. Do you have anywhere else to stay?
Get hold of the Met and insist that a DV complaint is taken, threaten to take the matter to the Professional Standards department if they are a bit recalcitrant.

Your safety is what matters here.
 
Not wanting to alarm you but Xmas block leave is coming up. Do you have anywhere else to stay?
Get hold of the Met and insist that a DV complaint is taken, threaten to take the matter to the Professional Standards department if they are a bit recalcitrant.

Your safety is what matters here.
Thank you very much for your sympathetic words. I have the money to book a holiday away or anything similar, I can change location out of his reach.
However, that would only postpone the problem and it feels like I have momentum behind me so I should keep pursuing the solution.

What is a DV complaint? edit: Ah, got it. Thank you, not a bad idea.
 
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Thank you very much for your sympathetic words. I have the money to book a holiday away or anything similar, I can change location out of his reach.
However, that would only postpone the problem and it feels like I have momentum behind me so I should keep pursuing the solution.

What is a DV complaint?
DV complaint is Domestic violence.
Met police have a positive arrest policy. It could also fall under controlling coercive behaviour. Insist that the police take a statement from you sooner than later.
 
Not wanting to alarm you but Xmas block leave is coming up. Do you have anywhere else to stay?
Get hold of the Met and insist that a DV complaint is taken, threaten to take the matter to the Professional Standards department if they are a bit recalcitrant.

Your safety is what matters here.
Now you are a nice chap, can she stay at yours?
 

Nato123

On ROPS
On ROPs
Dear Op.

Ok, Jokes over .

Humour and controlled aggression is the only way to cope...get your family to fill the knobend in.

I was once hassled by an ex.....told the Cops that if she comes a knocking one more time , she'll be getting launched and then showed them the tooth marks scars on my arm where she had gone mental in the past and bitten me.

They told me that this type of thing is one of the most common things that they have to deal with but they did log it - they did contact her - and they said that i was to let them know of any texts, calls, uninvited visits - as this would get her arrested.

The visits and all contact stopped.

Sorry to hear that you been let down by what should be a relatively simple thing to solve.

Now, what choon shall i post to say 'Sorry ' to you?

er, any Pics ;-)
 

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