I need company

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by portlandbill, Dec 2, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. This is very interesting and scientifically proven..................

    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >
    There are Six Truths in Life
    >
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, its a physical impossibility.
    >>
    >>
    >
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >
    2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it...
    >>
    >>
    >
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    3. And will discover that #1 is a bare faced lie.
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot....
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    5. You will soon try and think of other idiots you can share this with...
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    6. There is still a stupid smile on your face ..
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >
    I sincerely apologise about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company.
     
  2. no, your a mong of the highest order
     
  3. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    So you tried #1 then
     
  4. A curious little joke. A guy in a barrack room once asked me to pass over a tin of cola to him in his bed that he had left on the window sill. I duly did so and while crossing the room to pass it to him was tempted to take a sip but asked myself why did he not pick up the tin himself when he got in his pit. I refrained from a drink and was rewarded with the disappointed look on his face because he had peed in the tin. Lucky for him really because if I had drunk his piss, I would have slapped him in those days. Soooooo, when I read this, I didn't stick my tongue out and look at the ceiling so the joke failed. The good news is that I'm a good many years past slapping anybody now so you would have been ok if I had done as you asked.
     
  5. Portlandbill, you watch The Jeremy Kyle Show.

    Don't you.
     
  6. unfortuantly I did
     
  7. Pornstars look up with their tongue out all the time so I knew number 1 couldn't be true haha
     
  8. Used to know a girl who needed company: A Company, B Company, C Company, SP Company or HQ Company, didn't really matter which.

    Sorry, they say the old ones are best.....
     
  9. I wouldn't have drunk the coke/piss either, but I did poke my tongue out at the ceiling!
     
  10. I am definatly giving that one a go