I travelled back from my hollibobs, where I was (albeit mistakenly) treated like a princess, to arrive back in the great City of London. I was refused entry to the 0820hrs train from Waterloo to Salisbury by some skinny runt with a ticket machine saying "No 'love' that will cost you another Â£16 to get on this train". Fuelled by free wine, courtesy of BA, and big feck off heavy bags, I just told him to fuck off. I sat for 5 mins to calm down, and told some septics that someone's life was in danger, and they said they would keep an eye out on the news - I think they were a tad scared of my violent language and behaviour. If I had have had a machete with me, and not all my Duty Free, I would have made a mess of his bastard ticket machine, and had a big eff off grin on my face as I walked away, covered in his blood. That's all I have to say about that really.