I#m fucked

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Barry_Trotter, Jan 17, 2005.

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  1. Edited for being too drunk to type
  2. And in english that means what?
  3. Try looking 'Polish'...

  4. J_D

    J_D LE

    if you love your wife then you won't cheat full stop.........ah unless your a typical squaddie then your buggered huh
  5. Are you one of Anya's relations - or one of her mates from the dyslexia class
  6. RTFQ


    You don't want it, but tough. Here's my opinion.

    I don't do marriage, but don't slag yourself off for loving your wife, it makes you the bigger man.

    If you've got major problems, use this site to get them off your chest if you want (seeing them on a screen in front of you helps you work out what your thinking) maybe not on this forum (but all the clever ones are here :wink: ).

    Once you've done that TALK TO YER WIFE. talking to us won't save fcuk all ultimately.

    Use a mediator if you both have got to the stage where it's difficult /impossible to talk to each other without screaming. It sounds naff but they're like a ref in boxing, otherwise you may as well mill. RELATE seem to work for some people.

    Don't give up.
  7. Ok so you have a Psychotic German wife with some problems!!! Explain the problems in a manner we can understand then maybe if you are luck someone will give you some sound advice.!!!

  8. I do talk to my wife but she dosn't understand me. :(


    sHE SPEAKS GERMAN;;; :oops: :oops: :oops:
  9. well how the hell did you get started in the first place - get a german phrase book and sort it out.
  10. You could learn German
    She could learn English
    You could SHOUT!!!!
    You could keep her incoherent with violent love making
    You could kill her and get that new patio you've always wanted

    Don't,whatever you do mention the war!!!!
  11. RTFQ


    You must have been able to talk about stuff in the early days. Find out what used to be your common ground (footie, lesbianism, travel) and try to get talking about ANYTHING. Like I say, talk to a mediator, they explain things that neither of you can express because you're too angry/hurt/p1ssed to do yourself
  12. ..........speaking different languages sounds like a good idea - if you can't understand each other how can you annoy/hut/piss each other off? :?
    Just shag a lot :D
  13. Stop wasting our time writing drivvle on here and go and learn german you tit!

  14. You have my sympathy, my mother is German so I know from long experience that what we would assume to be psychotic behaviour, is in fact perfectly normal for your average frau.
    From what I recall of my childhood, my fathers usual seduction technique involved Wagner and lederhosen, but I'm assuming that your leibling is younger than my mother, in which case you may want to substitute "Das Skorpions" for Wagner.
    Other props that may help to create the correct ambience to woo a Valkerie are, plenty of Estrella, pork products, and a DVD of "Das Boot" :D

    Best of British luck to you!
  15. Ich werde Sie alberne Kuh, Halt, der und wird stöhnt, zurück in der Küche jetzt gleich anschauen