I just took a piss with my trousers on.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by NigG, Sep 25, 2011.

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  1. I'm in a trendy bar in Bristol with around 40 others celebrating a birthday. I'm a bit pissed but not too bad. I'm chatting up the most incredible woman I've seen in a long time and I'm doing a good job of it. She says shes off to the bar and asks what I want, I tell her and go downstairs to point Percy.

    Now this pub only has two cubicles for both men and women and one of them is out of order because the flush is broken. I unzip, lift the toilet seat and start to piss. The problem is that, in my haste, I haven't taken my cock out of my trousers properly and now one leg of my trousers is now entirely sodden. To make matters worse I'm wearing light trousers and, unlike dark jeans, there's no hiding the fact that i'm soaked in piss.

    It's taken at least two minutes to assess the gravity situation and by now there's a couple of people outside chatting.
    Two minutes turns to ten and now there are approximately six outside, all being very vocal about how long I'm taking and how much they need to go. My frenzied tissue dabbing isn't even touching it. Then,to my horror, the voice of the hottie from upstairs joins the (now pretty angry group). "What's going on"? she says "Oh some fucking idiot is taking ages in there " and similar comments follow.

    By now people have started using the broken toilet. I've told them to fuck off and that I'm sick, etc, but one dude and this girl just won't fuck off.

    In the end I had to wait until the next cubicle was free, leave my cubicle backwards and get in it fuckin quick. I sit in there for another twenty minutes until my trousers are passable go upstairs, make my excuses and leave.

    Totally gutted though, I probably could have been balls deep by now. Anything similar happened to anyone else and how did you deal with it?
  2. No, I'm not a mong!
  3. You pissed your pants but you are sober enough to use a smart phone

    I call bullshit and you get extra shitballs on top for wearing "light Coloured pants"

    Fuck off to bed you chad thread starter

    Any squaddie worth his salt would be incoherent and cracking double maps of africa hands free to balance up

    Next step, get banged out by a fresher student
    • Like Like x 6
  4. Double legging is massively hetero and a surefire hit with the ladies. chicks froth at the clunge for a chap with a large spreading butterfly of wazz on the front of his stonewashed lee Jeans. your inability to deal with this simple social issue has confirmed your status as a limp wristed marmite miner, and you should make amends by grand slamming your unterhosen on the next opportunity.
    • Like Like x 5
  5. Yeah I'm not proud.
  6. You'll never be an Engineer.

  7. More like an Octopus
  8. A trendy bar that only has two cubicles, with one broken....in a bar that caters for loads of people who remember are drinking and hence will need to use the toilets quite often? You can lift the seat, but you cant get your dick out properly to do something you have done two to four times a day all your life. Your story is a load of tripe, well shit to be perfectly honest. Fuck off back to kindergarten.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. More likely he's thrapping himself stupid with the thoughts of men with piss stained trousers.
  10. Is that you projecting again Jarrod

  11. There you are. Fixed.
    • Like Like x 2
  12. No love, there's one of those type of creatures pops up regularly. Can't see the attraction of cold piss reeking trousers.
  13. I might be able to help, quickly tell me where you are so I can trace the place.
  14. I'll give you 20 shiny pee if you find him and fill him in.
    • Like Like x 1