"I instantly fell back on my training"

Whining Civvy

Old-Salt
I was in a Wetherspoons the other day when I badly needed a wee wee.

I got a grid reference and, using my OS sheet and Maglite, I identified the urination station. It seemed to be some way off, I hadn't brought extra rations or crampons! What to do??

Luckily my sapper training kicked in, and I remained where I was, had another beer and let it run down my leg.
Were you on table 32 to the left of the fire? If so then I mopped it up while you were trying to cadge a fag end off the aging prossie near the door and squeezed it back into your pint. Serves you right for drinking Theakstons.
 
If we think about it - most of us on here still probably venture out of bed for a piss during the night ensuring we have one eye closed - just in case we encounter a trip-flare on the landing or someone launches a shermuly from downstairs :rolleyes:

That's your training kicking in right there - decades after your service.
 
Allow me to translate into pongo. It's describing a run ashore with a bit of a fumble on the way back.
Neggers cheggers, ‘dockyard bimble’ is the art of going on an errand within the dockyard, either stopping for a brew on every ship you know somebody on or - getting changed into the civvies you had in a gashbag you were carrying and then going ashore.

“busty sprog” was mentioned though-but no fumbling would have taken place.
Never in the history of the Royal Navy has a good looking first sea draft wren succumbed to the charms and copious drinks bought by the sniffing circling sharks!
 

Brotherton Lad

LE
Kit Reviewer
Neggers cheggers, ‘dockyard bimble’ is the art of going on an errand within the dockyard, either stopping for a brew on every ship you know somebody on or - getting changed into the civvies you had in a gashbag you were carrying and then going ashore.

“busty sprog” was mentioned though-but no fumbling would have taken place.
Never in the history of the Royal Navy has a good looking first sea draft wren succumbed to the charms and copious drinks bought by the sniffing circling sharks!
TVM. In the Army the same thing is achieved by walking purposefully around camp armed with a fake clipboard.
 
TVM. In the Army the same thing is achieved by walking purposefully around camp armed with a fake clipboard.
The Rn equivilant of the clipboard, whilst onboard is firefighting equipment. Bimble around all day doing buggerall, brandishing a fire fighting nozzle or have an Elsa slung other your shoulder and people even open doors for you!
 

Kirkz

LE
TVM. In the Army the same thing is achieved by walking purposefully around camp armed with a fake clipboard.
I walked round Birdwood bks for 3 days carrying a welding rod.
 
I walked round Birdwood bks for 3 days carrying a welding rod.
I once spent a whole morning ‘doing my front’ sunbathing on the upperdeck, with my head under a fire hose basket, with a scattering of spanners placed around me.
See anyone important looking coming, just shout “for fucksake!” And grab a spanner... important person just steps over you, assuming you’d rounded off a thread or something.
 
I find that wearing a hi-vis jacket and carrying a notebook and camera can enable one to while away endless hours. Even better you can nip into the nearest NAAFI or equivalent and open your notebook and / or laptop and spend ages on arrse whilst pretending to write up the notes you didn't make walking round site.

It's all a matter of training.

One of our customers has a rather good subsidised restaurant and coffee bar (Costa) which is about half price. I have been known to spend several hours in there drinking coffee and having lunch whilst being greeted by a succession of people on site all of whom assume I'm on site for a meeting with someone else.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
The Rn equivilant of the clipboard, whilst onboard is firefighting equipment. Bimble around all day doing buggerall, brandishing a fire fighting nozzle or have an Elsa slung other your shoulder and people even open doors for you!
My dad always said officers used a clipboard, ratings a mop.

Personally I found that one could never check the vehicle tool kits too often. :)
 
Oi.
I'm an Englishman living in Wales.
Not a bloody Druid.
I feel your pain. It wasn't well received when I kept saying "Allez, le bleus" on Sun morning!!
 

Brotherton Lad

LE
Kit Reviewer
Those for whom bad weather simply means poor clothing choice.

Look, it's all on this here list on my clipboard.
Sounds like you put far too much prep into skiving.
 
Allow me to translate into pongo. It's describing a run ashore with a bit of a fumble on the way back.
In Portsmouth @Kirkz. Unicorn Gate is one of the entrances to the Naval Base.
 

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