I have never.....

[Storeman Norman]

Theme running in the DT today. So in the very best traditions of nicking other people's ideas, the thread runs thus:

"I have never....":

1. Watched Big Brother.
2. Poked my todger anywhere else than a woman's fanny.
3. Eaten shit. (Apart from my own cooking).
4. Seen my mother in law naked. (Eeewwww).
5. Snorted coke. (Although I did try Sprite once).
6. Met an honest politician.
7. Seen 'Deep Throat'.
8. Run a BFT quicker than 9:50.
9. Smelt anyone's fart better than my curry/carlsberg induced beauties.
10. Paid for the last round in a pub.

 

[Green_Goblin]

"I have never....":

Pissed or shat the bed after a night's drinking!

 

[Crazy_Legs]

... said anything nice about the RAF.

 

[Scottie_Dogg]

I have never done an honest days work in my life

 

[mad_collie]

. . . shoved 2 lobsters up my arrse to see if they will fight.

 

[Scottie_Dogg]

..... slept on stag

 

[tattybadger]

Theme running in the DT today. So in the very best traditions of nicking other people's ideas, the thread runs thus:

"I have never....":

1. Watched Big Brother.
2. Poked my todger anywhere else than a woman's fanny.
3. Eaten shit. (Apart from my own cooking).
4. Seen my mother in law naked. (Eeewwww).
5. Snorted coke. (Although I did try Sprite once).
6. Met an honest politician.
7. Seen 'Deep Throat'.
8. Run a BFT quicker than 9:50.
9. Smelt anyone's fart better than my curry/carlsberg induced beauties.
10. Paid for the last round in a pub.

11. You have never dug your own trench on Cappagh mountain either!!

 

[Storeman Norman]

11. You have never dug your own trench on Cappagh mountain either!!

Yes, but when you have a perfectly serviceable (if dwarf like) 2IC, why should you want to?

 

[tattybadger]

11. You have never dug your own trench on Cappagh mountain either!!

Yes, but when you have a perfectly serviceable (if dwarf like) 2IC, why should you want to?

I sincerely hope you were not servicing your 2IC! If that's the case then your initial list needs amending!

 

[Scottie_Dogg]

......Slept with my sister in law.

 

[indoubitabley]

....Slept with my sister (twice in one night)

 

[Sneezeclown]

... given a friction burn to a badger.

 

[themaadone]

turned up for duty pissed

 

[mad_collie]

. . . knocked one out at work.

 

[TheBigUn]

..........posted sensible comments on ARRSE

 

[mrs-potatoehead]

...ripped anyone's head off and shat down their neck!

 

[g2_loony_bin]

.....branded myself....

 

[obesa_cantavit]

...not thought about big breasted beauties at least once a day...

 

[meiktilaman]

........never read sensible comments on ARRSE!!!

 

[Scottie_Dogg]

..... Sniffed my fingers after scratching my balls