I have never.....

Theme running in the DT today. So in the very best traditions of nicking other people's ideas, the thread runs thus:

"I have never....":

1. Watched Big Brother.
2. Poked my todger anywhere else than a woman's fanny.
3. Eaten shit. (Apart from my own cooking).
4. Seen my mother in law naked. (Eeewwww).
5. Snorted coke. (Although I did try Sprite once).
6. Met an honest politician.
7. Seen 'Deep Throat'.
8. Run a BFT quicker than 9:50.
9. Smelt anyone's fart better than my curry/carlsberg induced beauties.
10. Paid for the last round in a pub.
 

mad_collie

War Hero
. . . shoved 2 lobsters up my arrse to see if they will fight.
 
Storeman Norman said:
Theme running in the DT today. So in the very best traditions of nicking other people's ideas, the thread runs thus:

"I have never....":

1. Watched Big Brother.
2. Poked my todger anywhere else than a woman's fanny.
3. Eaten shit. (Apart from my own cooking).
4. Seen my mother in law naked. (Eeewwww).
5. Snorted coke. (Although I did try Sprite once).
6. Met an honest politician.
7. Seen 'Deep Throat'.
8. Run a BFT quicker than 9:50.
9. Smelt anyone's fart better than my curry/carlsberg induced beauties.
10. Paid for the last round in a pub.

11. You have never dug your own trench on Cappagh mountain either!!
 
tattybadger said:
11. You have never dug your own trench on Cappagh mountain either!!

Yes, but when you have a perfectly serviceable (if dwarf like) 2IC, why should you want to?
 
Storeman Norman said:
tattybadger said:
11. You have never dug your own trench on Cappagh mountain either!!

Yes, but when you have a perfectly serviceable (if dwarf like) 2IC, why should you want to?

I sincerely hope you were not servicing your 2IC! If that's the case then your initial list needs amending!
 
....Slept with my sister (twice in one night)
 

Sneezeclown

Clanker
... given a friction burn to a badger.
 
turned up for duty pissed
 

mad_collie

War Hero
. . . knocked one out at work.
 
..........posted sensible comments on ARRSE
 
.....branded myself....
 
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