I have just cracked one out over.....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by joey_deacons_lad, Jun 28, 2010.

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  1. Hattie Jacques late carry on star and massive porker usually casted as an authority figure. Who have you pleasured yourself over knowing it is wrong and wouldnt touch with a bargepole for real?
  2. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer

    You have some serious issues Joey, Was granny a Matron?

    Apart from that It would have to be Anna Karen from on the buses.
  3. youngsters, tut tut. You do realise she's been dead for 30 years? It's a bit like wanking over Sid James. They were all part of the same club, and all dead for donkeys years.
  4. Nothing wrong with a spot of self abuse that makes one feel dirty and ashamed now and then, another who springs to mind is the fatty from birds of a feather when bored with the thought of the old slapper taking my teenage cherry
  5. I recall as a boy rushing home from rugby to catch the tail end(tee hee hee) of baywatch but instead of being greeted by Pammy Cilla Black and her toothsome idiotness were my only fodder,
    The ginger scouse bitch loved her blind date and surprise surprise, it did hit her between the eyes.
  6. nurse gladys..you get a weeks adventure training in them!

    -----edited cos i hadn't finished yet------oooh matron------
  7. helen Mirren in that fil she made about the Queen. I felt proper ashamed of myself for that one.
  8. Any woman who has had the misfortune to appear on my television screen...frankly after 48 years I am possibly, though not definitely, prepared to maybe admit that there is a positive strong likelihood that I may or may not have libido issues. When you are rifling through your wonk bonk and withdrawing violet Carson, Angela Merkel and the pretty maid off of Upstairs downstairs...well there are very few other possible conclusions.

    Excuse me, I have an episode of The Life of Riley to masturbate over...erm...I mean watch for entertainment value and the crisp production values of its scripts and thespian performances...
  9. Heather Mills.

    I've even thought about her turning all psycho and having a mental breakdown and all that and simply not letting me go. They say a woman cannot rape a man.

    Fucking bring it on, pegleg.
  10. Helena Bonham Carter in planet of the apes, I could never resist hairy knuckle dragging, baboon arsed women, that's why I love Yorkshire.
  11. You can turn her over on her back without withdrawing.....good drills.
  12. I would imagine Austrians do it for you to Cern?
  13. Zelda from the kids program "The Terrorhawks". I was in school with a girl called Zelda who was quite fit. There the similarity ended.

    Although come to think of it now, she reminds me of that hatchet faced cow in EastEnders.


  14. One of my harem of Welsh gingers has just walked in looking very nice. I may have to take an early erm...coffee break. The twiglets, the twiglets...
  15. Ester Rantzen