I have issues help please

Discussion in 'Join the Army - Regular Soldier Recruitment' started by BenUK, Apr 2, 2013.

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  1. Hi, I just got off the phone with Leicester and they told me my application is being handled by a new third party place.

    I don't know what he meant because he was useless, he even gave me the wrong number (0845 6008780)

    Can someone please assist.

    PS. I have done BARB and lit and math test.
  2. Have you tried ringing them back and saying that the number you were given didn't work?
  3. It was much easier in my day. I just trotted along to the army careers office, said I'd like to join the army. He said "Certainly, fill this form in, drop your trousers, bend over" He gave me an internal and said the doctor will be along in a minute. What? You mean this isn't the NAAFI? ...
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Hello Mattb.

    Sorry I didn't ring back because I was busy and it's closed now. I was told that my application is being handled elsewhere and that the system has only just been set up.

    Do you know the correct number so I can contact them?
  5. No.

    If it's any help, if Place A is now closed, then Place B will probably also be closed. Therefore ringing Place A tomorrow would probably be the best bet.

    You'll be great on command tasks.
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  6. Thank you.
  7. You're welcome.

    If you ever need an adult to supervise you with scissors, please don't ask me.
    • Like Like x 3
  8. Forastero

    Forastero LE Moderator

    Quality thread. Jesus wept. (Sorry Disco, couldn't help myself).
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Looking forward to your career in the Int corps?
    • Like Like x 2
  10. The number you've been given is a non-existant number. They give it out if they've discovered something suspicious in their background checks. They pass your file to a specialist police unit and give you the spoof number to allow the police time to get a warrant. Pack a bag and get out now. Don't stay anywhere for longer than a day, keep moving and they won't find you. Never log onto the web again, they can trace you through that. You'll thank me in later life.
    • Like Like x 4
  11. Cant talk K13eod, I am on approach to a house in Leicester have the enforcer ready and cant talk, right lads on 3 1, 2 ......
  12. Approaching Black from Green, have eyes on Tango 1
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Leave the poor lad alone, he's only trying to find out what they meant. Of course, he could have looked at the various threads on here about the new recruiting process but, hey ho, easy to play games on the PS3 ( or whatever the new thing is) but awfully difficult to press the search button on here.
    FYI, recruitment has been taken over by a civvy company. The Forces have been deemed too stupid and incompetent to continue recruiting on their own as it hasn't worked very well since they invented the glass bottom beer mug so you could see the shilling in the bottom of the beer. You will now be seen by a yooman resources specialist who may, or may not, have any idea of how the Forces actually work. You will be asked why you have applied, what you can bring to the Forces (don't say you like killing Ayrabs or ragheads) and how your current lifestyle will mesh with the mission statement provided for all potential employees (the word recruit will probably be deemed inappropriate). You will be given preferential consideration depending on the level of your disability, your sexual preferences (trans gender operations will be given a huge plus) and don't worry about your fitness level. All potential employees will not be discriminated against and being a fat ****** who can't run more than 10 yards will not count against you. You must also tick which sitting you want at meal times and indicate whether you have any objections to McDonalds and Burger King providing the gourmet dining experience or if you prefer Pret a Manger (the latter will indicate your suitability for a commission although, in the interests of equality, commissions will be phased out over a 5 year period).
    Have fun in the modern Army of today! All calls will be recorded for training purposes.
  14. I feel the ban stick coming out for a bunch of unfunny guys. You know the rules unless you fancy losing site access for a few days.
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