I have a thyroid problem/big bones/its in my genes.........

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by vvaannmmaann, Sep 23, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. chimera

    chimera LE Moderator

    And why do they always sit next to me on the Tube?
  2. And they smell, yack.
  3. Or next to you on the plane. I wonder if the CAA allow for obesity of passengers on flights... I mean, they know the total weight of luggage going into the hold, but the weight of all those fat b&stards with arms the size of my thighs???

    Now where did I put that isotonic doughnut...
  4. It says that 10 million Britons do not realise that they are obese, but when I do my civic duty and point out the fact to these fat knackers, they take offence! You can't win.
  5. you make them look attractive?
  6. Well I read that as defining our mission to sally forth and educate them.

    Perhaps we could have ARRSE "Fat Bastard" stickers made up which members could firmly afix to any blobbies we come across?
  7. Sorry can't do that.You will upset them and hurt their dignity and feelings!
  8. How can they feel anything when they are wrapped in 4" of lard?

    Ram in a wick and use them as street lighting.
  9. chimera

    chimera LE Moderator

    No - just thin
  10. The sweat would soon melt the glue. Far better to staple them in place.

    We could do their stomachs while we're at it, seeing as how we're being public spirited.
  11. chimera

    chimera LE Moderator

    Or use a nail gun. Just to be sure.
  12. I love the "overactive thyroid" excuse ... yeah, maybe ... combined with an overactive knife and fork!

    Big boned ... you'd need to be to support that blubber mate!

    It's all in my genes! No it's not ... most of it is hanging over the top.
  13. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    Don't see why not airlines used to weight passengers in and charge them. I think its a great idea as my mrs is a shortarrse and weighs in at a little more than a small feather pillow. save me a fortune that would.
  14. A chick mate of mine (who weighs about 7 stone) checked in with a load of diving equipment and they tried to charge her excess baggage, until she pointed at the fat fcuker at the next desk and asked if he was paying extra. She got the Thai equivalent of "fair one" and didn't have to pay.