"I hate you, your balls smell of candy floss"

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by rupert-bleep, Feb 7, 2007.

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  1. Ok here is an interesting little insult that was thrown at me just moments ago.

    i shall explain, something extreemly rare happened to me on monday night, it was my birthday, that was not so rare.
    however as i am a sad and lonely individual i decided to go to the local for a few bevvies in the company of all the local whinos...
    as the evening progressed a youngish woman (for youngish read under 60) became enamoured of my rapist like wit...i mean rapier anyway drunken sex was the order of the evening not a bad way to end your birthday.
    so in the morning we parted company and the barrage of text messages began....you know last night was ace...your hung like a race horse...felt like the 95th went through me etc...
    then....i like you we should get together.........marry me.........etc...
    so i said to said cum dump....not interested etc...your nice etc....you get the drift....

    so i get this message..." i hate you, your balls smell of candy floss"
    what the fcuk!!!
    so after replying thats why you kept lickin them...i thought to myself that its the wierdest insult i ever had...
    so i call out to you arrse's and ask whats the strangest insult you ever had!!! :plotting:
     
  2. Could of been worse......

    She could of said your cock was like DENTAL floss.

    Just a thought. :D
     
  3. Haha, that's mad! I know you said ' youngish', but I didn't think you would mean 12 years old.

    I was once called a Milky Bar kid once by a very charming black guy. Right before he punched me in the head. I'd like to point out that I hadn't called him Mister Chocolate Drops or anything of the sort before, it was totally unprovoked.
     
  4. thanks for that shortfuse m8.....could have been used as dental floss after all she only had 3 teeth.....
     
  5. May I suggest she was a bit simple and her predictive text was a bit off "...your balls [are?] small [stop] F O cunty face!"

    An easy mistake to make if you're hung over and have been quite literally fucked over.

    Strangest insult received - "You were crap!" - Balls! I was fantastic, she was crap!
     
  6. thanks for your message of solidarity there m8......
     
  7. and when i said under 60 i meant over 40....
     
  8. a gentleman never tells!!!

    i on the other hand...well......
     
  9. Have you smelled candy floss? Take it as a compliment!
    The daft mare tells you your gonads are like sweet-stuff, I wouldn't moan - I'd have it captioned on a t-shirt.
     
  10. they are going into prouction as we speak the front will read....sniff my hangers......
    the back will say they are sweet...lol
     
  11. You should be chuffed. Mine smell faintly of Bovril and Dog Saliva......
     
  12. Aye, would've been worse if she said it smelled like fried kippers and mouldy salad cream.
     
  13. delightful....thanks for that a smell i shall aspire too
     
  14. Keep talking Guru, keep talking........ :blowkiss: