"I hate you, your balls smell of candy floss"

rupert-bleep

Old-Salt
Ok here is an interesting little insult that was thrown at me just moments ago.

i shall explain, something extreemly rare happened to me on monday night, it was my birthday, that was not so rare.
however as i am a sad and lonely individual i decided to go to the local for a few bevvies in the company of all the local whinos...
as the evening progressed a youngish woman (for youngish read under 60) became enamoured of my rapist like wit...i mean rapier anyway drunken sex was the order of the evening not a bad way to end your birthday.
so in the morning we parted company and the barrage of text messages began....you know last night was ace...your hung like a race horse...felt like the 95th went through me etc...
then....i like you we should get together.........marry me.........etc...
so i said to said cum dump....not interested etc...your nice etc....you get the drift....

so i get this message..." i hate you, your balls smell of candy floss"
what the fcuk!!!
so after replying thats why you kept lickin them...i thought to myself that its the wierdest insult i ever had...
so i call out to you arrse's and ask whats the strangest insult you ever had!!! :plotting:
 

Forks

LE
Haha, that's mad! I know you said ' youngish', but I didn't think you would mean 12 years old.

I was once called a Milky Bar kid once by a very charming black guy. Right before he punched me in the head. I'd like to point out that I hadn't called him Mister Chocolate Drops or anything of the sort before, it was totally unprovoked.
 

rupert-bleep

Old-Salt
thanks for that shortfuse m8.....could have been used as dental floss after all she only had 3 teeth.....
 

soldier-w

Old-Salt
May I suggest she was a bit simple and her predictive text was a bit off "...your balls [are?] small [stop] F O cunty face!"

An easy mistake to make if you're hung over and have been quite literally fucked over.

Strangest insult received - "You were crap!" - Balls! I was fantastic, she was crap!
 

rupert-bleep

Old-Salt
thanks for your message of solidarity there m8......
 

rupert-bleep

Old-Salt
a gentleman never tells!!!

i on the other hand...well......
 

Myss

LE
Have you smelled candy floss? Take it as a compliment!
The daft mare tells you your gonads are like sweet-stuff, I wouldn't moan - I'd have it captioned on a t-shirt.
 

rupert-bleep

Old-Salt
they are going into prouction as we speak the front will read....sniff my hangers......
the back will say they are sweet...lol
 
You should be chuffed. Mine smell faintly of Bovril and Dog Saliva......
 

Dr_Chris

War Hero
Aye, would've been worse if she said it smelled like fried kippers and mouldy salad cream.
 

rupert-bleep

Old-Salt
delightful....thanks for that a smell i shall aspire too
 
the_guru said:
You should be chuffed. Mine smell faintly of Bovril and Dog Saliva......
Keep talking Guru, keep talking........ :blowkiss:
 

rupert-bleep

Old-Salt
tad dissapointed that you chaps are not sharing your strangest insults with me :frustrated:
 

whit_RE

War Hero
Strangest insult = she couldn't remember my name in the morning...thought that was my job!
 
Hmmm if I think about it, the worst insult was a bird not telling me she had a bloke. I found out when he walked in in the morning. Cow! She coulda told me, I still woulda nailed her, she was well above my usual trapping standards.

In fact i think I was used by her to get at her boyfriend!!!

I feel so used!!! :thumleft:
 

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