"I hate you, your balls smell of candy floss"

#1
Ok here is an interesting little insult that was thrown at me just moments ago.

i shall explain, something extreemly rare happened to me on monday night, it was my birthday, that was not so rare.
however as i am a sad and lonely individual i decided to go to the local for a few bevvies in the company of all the local whinos...
as the evening progressed a youngish woman (for youngish read under 60) became enamoured of my rapist like wit...i mean rapier anyway drunken sex was the order of the evening not a bad way to end your birthday.
so in the morning we parted company and the barrage of text messages began....you know last night was ace...your hung like a race horse...felt like the 95th went through me etc...
then....i like you we should get together.........marry me.........etc...
so i said to said cum dump....not interested etc...your nice etc....you get the drift....

so i get this message..." i hate you, your balls smell of candy floss"
what the fcuk!!!
so after replying thats why you kept lickin them...i thought to myself that its the wierdest insult i ever had...
so i call out to you arrse's and ask whats the strangest insult you ever had!!! :plotting:
 
#3
Haha, that's mad! I know you said ' youngish', but I didn't think you would mean 12 years old.

I was once called a Milky Bar kid once by a very charming black guy. Right before he punched me in the head. I'd like to point out that I hadn't called him Mister Chocolate Drops or anything of the sort before, it was totally unprovoked.
 
#4
thanks for that shortfuse m8.....could have been used as dental floss after all she only had 3 teeth.....
 
#5
May I suggest she was a bit simple and her predictive text was a bit off "...your balls [are?] small [stop] F O cunty face!"

An easy mistake to make if you're hung over and have been quite literally fucked over.

Strangest insult received - "You were crap!" - Balls! I was fantastic, she was crap!
 
#10
Have you smelled candy floss? Take it as a compliment!
The daft mare tells you your gonads are like sweet-stuff, I wouldn't moan - I'd have it captioned on a t-shirt.
 
#11
they are going into prouction as we speak the front will read....sniff my hangers......
the back will say they are sweet...lol
 
#12
You should be chuffed. Mine smell faintly of Bovril and Dog Saliva......
 
#13
Aye, would've been worse if she said it smelled like fried kippers and mouldy salad cream.
 
#15
the_guru said:
You should be chuffed. Mine smell faintly of Bovril and Dog Saliva......
Keep talking Guru, keep talking........ :blowkiss:
 
#19
Strangest insult = she couldn't remember my name in the morning...thought that was my job!
 
#20
Hmmm if I think about it, the worst insult was a bird not telling me she had a bloke. I found out when he walked in in the morning. Cow! She coulda told me, I still woulda nailed her, she was well above my usual trapping standards.

In fact i think I was used by her to get at her boyfriend!!!

I feel so used!!! :thumleft:
 

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