I hate my neighbour....

#61
My misses has got a right oddball who has just moved in next door to her. In fairness, he's quite a nice bloke, but is nervous as f*ck about everything. If kids are talking too loudly walking past his gaff he panics, when i pull up in my motor he's peeking through the blinds, he's even put up bars on the windows for f*cks sake. This is in an ok area as well. He's convinced people are trying to break into his place and told me he would have called the rozzers, but was scared of retribution. When some kids were mucking around chucking some berries at each other the other day, he ran and hid in his kitchen. Thing is, he's a builder and built like a brick s*ithouse. I wouldn't say i hated him, i just think he's a bit weird. However, the family of chav tw*ts just down the road need a good f*cking hoofing, make no mistake there. Loud mouth, ugly pikey c*nts.
 

Auld-Yin

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#62
I have great neighbours and love living here. The only thing is they have a cnut for a neighbour 8)
 
#63
Top tip for noisy neighbours.....

Find the coax to their sat dish/tv aeriel.

Put a pin (dressmaking type) through the coax so that it shorts the inside and outside together (ie no signal to tv/sat box). Cut both ends of pin off to leave flush (they'll never find that in a month of sundays!)

When they replace the whole cable... at a cost of...etc etc... DO IT AGAIN!!!!

Worked for me twice!!
 
#64
Crusty(LE) said:
Top tip for noisy neighbours.....

Find the coax to their sat dish/tv aeriel.

Put a pin (dressmaking type) through the coax so that it shorts the inside and outside together (ie no signal to tv/sat box). Cut both ends of pin off to leave flush (they'll never find that in a month of sundays!)

When they replace the whole cable... at a cost of...etc etc... DO IT AGAIN!!!!

Worked for me twice!!
Did you get taught that by a siggy? D10 Cable and Field telephones by any chance?

In exactly the same sort of principle, this also works very well with phone lines. Look for the blue wire with white stripes, and the white wire with blue stripes. Cut one (or both) of those, or short them out with a pin or something similar. Pin through coax does some very odd things to cable TV and internet as well. Combine all 3 and they could be without TV, Internet, Phone, etc.

Or so I'm told...
 
#65
PTS265 said:
Crusty(LE) said:
Top tip for noisy neighbours.....

Find the coax to their sat dish/tv aeriel.

Put a pin (dressmaking type) through the coax so that it shorts the inside and outside together (ie no signal to tv/sat box). Cut both ends of pin off to leave flush (they'll never find that in a month of sundays!)

When they replace the whole cable... at a cost of...etc etc... DO IT AGAIN!!!!

Worked for me twice!!
Did you get taught that by a siggy? D10 Cable and Field telephones by any chance?

In exactly the same sort of principle, this also works very well with phone lines. Look for the blue wire with white stripes, and the white wire with blue stripes. Cut one (or both) of those, or short them out with a pin or something similar. Pin through coax does some very odd things to cable TV and internet as well. Combine all 3 and they could be without TV, Internet, Phone, etc.

Or so I'm told...
Nope... ... 8)

Equipment denial techniques comes in many forms!! 8)

(edited for mong spolling)
 
#66
AAGF said:
One of the most polite, neighbourly places I've lived in was Kennesaw in Georgia, just north of Atlanta
Then you must have driven past the Big Chicken on Cobb Parkway once or twice (up by dobbins) :D :D

I used to go to a shooting club in Marrieta
 
#67
Howler said:
Penge is a spectacular dump, even for someone who reckons they've seen a thing or two after 6 years in para reg. We're talking mid-nineties now, maybe the place has improved(Although, I doubt it).

quote]

Penge. I had almost forgotten about Penge, maybe blanked it out is more accurate.

For a short time I shared a flat in Penge. The poxy letting agent had described it as "Beckenham Borders" and whilst the flat itself was OK it is the possibly the most dreary and dismal place Sarf London has to offer. Really nasty.

Many of the long term local residents appear to be retarded, fair number of usual scum about the place but soon became evident our landlord was a much better sort: senior member of a family of career criminals. "Any trubble lads just let me know. Tell Trish 'oo runs der boozer dahn de road dat Pete sez 'sallwight if you wanta use de Saloon Bar. Oh and remember me Mum lives next door." Eeek.

Worst of it was you can drive for miles in any direction and it is all the same
 
#68
FatBoyGeorge said:
marco_poloroid said:
Serves you all right for living on Chavvy Estates. Mind you, it permeates through the entire strata of society. Can you believe it, why only last year I had cause to despatch Farquahar, our butler and odd job man, to the adjoining estate, to take issue with the damned Ghillies, shouting and beating the Grouse out. Frightened the horses, I tell you.

Beats me why poor people should be allowed to live in houses at all. Contact your local Navy recruitment office to round em up and ship em all off to Orrstralia.
Who said we all live on estates? I, for one, live in a countryside village community but still have sponging neighbours.

By the way, you're a cunt.
And you're an ersatz snob who has no idea of irony.Well done you for living in a "countryside village community " That'll be the scummy council bit that every nice village gets ruined by. Now bore off.

I'll see your cnut, and raise you a snotgobblin turd.
 
#69
snozzer said:
AAGF said:
One of the most polite, neighbourly places I've lived in was Kennesaw in Georgia, just north of Atlanta
Then you must have driven past the Big Chicken on Cobb Parkway once or twice (up by dobbins) :D :D

I used to go to a shooting club in Marrieta
I remember The Big Chicken well, Snozzer - especially after "To find Harry's Market, go down Cobb and turn left after The Big Chicken" when we first lived there. I thought whafu' and headed down Cobb and sure enough - there it was. Excellent landmark!
 
#70
squiffy_parsons said:
I f*cking hate my neighbour, usually I just ignore the c*nt but he's really got on my tits this week. .......so I've bought IBIZA Annual 2008 CD's and put the lot onto the iPod and turned it up to "very very annoyingly loud"

It is according to the spotty customer assistant that sold it to me the latest Trance & Dance mix....whatever that is.....I'm off out, but the music plays on....
You must have really good headphones, or does your neighbour really live that close?
 
#71
Mr_Deputy said:
* oh yes I did I had a house full of beauties like Charlie's Angels next to me while living in Leeds. One would often pop round with a bottle or ask us lads out on the town. That was good. I would like neighbours like that again please.
Did you live in Headingley by any chance?
Mate of mine had similar neighbours there, I practically lived there for a year aswel :D
 
#72
AAGF said:
snozzer said:
AAGF said:
One of the most polite, neighbourly places I've lived in was Kennesaw in Georgia, just north of Atlanta
Then you must have driven past the Big Chicken on Cobb Parkway once or twice (up by dobbins) :D :D

I used to go to a shooting club in Marrieta
I remember The Big Chicken well, Snozzer - especially after "To find Harry's Market, go down Cobb and turn left after The Big Chicken" when we first lived there. I thought whafu' and headed down Cobb and sure enough - there it was. Excellent landmark!
Several years ago I had to go to Georgia about once a month and used to get dinner at the Wiliamson Brothers BBQ in Marrieta. It seemed that every time I went there I would see a small dapper elderly man having dinner and all the waitresses would stop by his table to talk. After hearing someone call him Governor I found out he was Lester Maddox. In the north we always heard he was quite racist but strangely it was apparent that he was as popular with the black staff as he was with the white staff. It felt like I was seeing a bit of the history of the south.
 
#73
marco_poloroid said:
And you're an ersatz snob who has no idea of irony.Well done you for living in a "countryside village community " That'll be the scummy council bit that every nice village gets ruined by. Now bore off.

I'll see your cnut, and raise you a snotgobblin turd.
Well done; it only took you five days. Oh, I knew exactly what you were doing but just wanted to point out that you're not funny, nor does using german make you come across as cleaver.

I can assure you that I'm not an inferior breed of snob, I am a snob of the highest order.
 
#74
I am surrounded by Doley types - who a few weeks ago thought they would have a mini Glastonbury until 03.00. No problem for those as they lie in bed and continue to inbreed. I took Betsy, my air rifle out and shot the pegs off their washing. A week later my black ops continued when I set fire to all the Shi*te they dumped outside, chairs etc. They knew it was me but unable to prove it so threw eggs at my windows :(

My washing does not go on the line - unlike theirs. Now I have a catapult and time :) They often leave their washing out overnight. So it's pea gravel or condoms full of dye - shi*t. My move next. Oh and as for the bouncy castle under my window in the Summer - am going to buy £5 worth of roofing tacks.

He laughs last has thought out the whole plan!!
 
#75
FatBoyGeorge said:
marco_poloroid said:
And you're an ersatz snob who has no idea of irony.Well done you for living in a "countryside village community " That'll be the scummy council bit that every nice village gets ruined by. Now bore off.

I'll see your cnut, and raise you a snotgobblin turd.
Well done; it only took you five days. Oh, I knew exactly what you were doing but just wanted to point out that you're not funny, nor does using german make you come across as cleaver.

I can assure you that I'm not an inferior breed of snob, I am a snob of the highest order.
I agree I am not cleaver. But I am cleverer than you. It seems my German is better than your English. Now get back to that countryside village community as they are short of an idiot.
 

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