I hate my neighbour....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by squiffy_parsons, Sep 5, 2008.

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  1. I f*cking hate my neighbour, usually I just ignore the c*nt but he's really got on my tits this week. .......so I've bought IBIZA Annual 2008 CD's and put the lot onto the iPod and turned it up to "very very annoyingly loud"

    It is according to the spotty customer assistant that sold it to me the latest Trance & Dance mix....whatever that is.....I'm off out, but the music plays on....
  2. Mine is also a 2 face back stabbing first clas cnut!!!!!!!
  3. Knob, two can play at that game. I'm going to leave 'Agadoo' on repeat and max volume when I go out - that'll learn ya :D
  4. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    You think you got it bad?

    I've got 2 two cnuts to my left, the ugliest annoyingest cnuts a man could ever have the misfortune to live next to.

    One's gone out and appears to be playing some kind of hard trance sh!t, and other one is playing some 80's cr@p.

    It's ok though, my place is detached, their two places are semi, and they are both going to have a fire.
  5. Squiffy, please tell me that you bought the Ibiza CD simply to annoy your neighbour, and that it does not represent your usual musical tastes.
  6. So you're the cnut larging it up in your laa-di-daah detached?

    I'm gonna put a flaming dog turd on your doorstep you feckin cot death :twisted:
  7. Feck, thats nowt. Some tw*t moved in next door to me, when he and his family had settled in I went around with to say hello and dropped a few beers off, he said thanks and hasnt spoken to me since. Didnt even invite me to his BBQ which is just not feckin cricket. So, when he decked his garden out with nice new furniture and stuff, I spent a few days shooting holes in all of it with my air rifle, along with his garden shed windows, and his garden Mushroom ornaments, have also taken pride in chucking bags of dog sh*t over his fence once my border collie has had her daily constitutional. - the cunt cunting cuntfecker. Should be nicer to me.
  8. semi detached (reasonably) quite family/old bastard street. got new neighbours. two bints and a dozen or so men/boys/chavs (all at different times of the day/week). shite music at full blast all hours. have asked twice, threatened once.....nothing to speak of for days now. the other night the wife and i could hear one of the girls/boys/chavs god knows who shagging. well either shagging or very slowly banging a small pisture hook in. bang....30 second delay....bang....30 second delay etc. etc. (you must get the picture..no pun). andway, about ten bangs and it goes quiet. now either; he had the staying power of me, or; they were both embarressed as I banged the wall in return after every bang they provided. even the wife said 'god, premature or what'? then again she is used to twice that now and again.

  9. I had some stroppy cnut knock and ask me to move my car.I asked why and the answer was him his fat wife and fat daughter could not get the 3 yes fekin 3 cars near enough to their house.Funny thing is my car was parked outside my gaff however as the road was narrow parking another car directly opposite would prevent road access.

    It went something like this

    "You want me to move my car so you can get three outside yours"


    "And all the other car owners on my side of the road have to park somewhere else?"

    "Yes cos my wife and daughter have trouble walking far"

    "Fcuk off you pi$$ taking wnaker and tell the rest of your fat useless family to ditch the cars and lose some fekin weight"

    They never spoke to me again :D
  10. We all get 'em from time to time....direct action is what is needed, like the fecker who lived 3 doors down from me once....

    Parties until 4am, crap music and no volume other than "11", result, I leaped over 3 fences until I was in it's back yard, took the "T" key for the external leccy meter cupboard, opened the fecker and tore off the main fuse and threw it up the garden, when the aforementioned cnut stormed out the back door to see who was shouting "That's sorted you, you wnaker!" he was greeted by "Your main fuse is halfway up the garden, you can try and get it if you like", his mates and attached females came out and none of the yellow stripeybacked, Leeds chavmongs dared to utter a word, when he moved, the guy next door (2 doors down) said in muted tones out of his bedroom window "I wouldn't if I were you, i've seen him lay into a couple of pikeys last month and it wasn't nice", cue scummy mates leaving front door of house and Mr. Numbnuts going to bed with his nasty little bint, from what I hear he was too scared to get it after i'd gone to bed and had a kitchen floor full of water and a freezer full of defrosted shite in the morning.

    Never seemed to hear much much out of them after that!
  11. YesItsMe

    YesItsMe LE Good Egg (charities)

    can't be cause you can't call that music
  12. What is the point of buying a crap record and playing it to annoy appalling neighbour if you have to suffer the noise yourself? A bit like shiiting your pants and walking about in them all day in order to disturb the neighbour with the smell.
  13. I really feckin hate the family at the bottom of my garden, Bunch of inconsiderate cnuts.
    Crashing and banging day and night does my head in.Last month the child of these inbred' s decided to play football against our fence , Now i do not really have a problem with the lad kicking a ball about but when it is a constant banging in the fence for 1/2 Hour something is going to give , especially when the father starts to twat the fence as well. Other annoying habits include the mother who likes to let little Jonny 3 Yr old sit in their car and play with the horn for hours on end , This can be a real problem when the missus or myself have come off of nights.
    Other times is when Jonny 3 Yr old starts his tantrums a 6 in the morning and carrys on through the day with a constant shouting match between mother and Satan's child.Then to top it all off the Father arrives home at 1800 starts a slanging match with the mum and then proceeds to hammer nails for the next 4 Hours, (I honestly believe that their home is held together with nails or they have a S&M fetish).
    To get my own back , I have changed the SSID on my wireless router to "Noisycnuts" , also i like to knock there Sky dish out,Next i plan to weed killer their garden when they are on holiday. :twisted:
  14. Oh, another thing, my neighbours from the opposite side no longer speak me either since last summer when I had a BBQ and set fire to the 15 year old bush / tree thingy which they had been frowing since they moved in and was planted as a memorial to a dead father or something. Q hammy with BBQ head on, lighter fluid, matches and parked BBQ next to fence. WHOOOSH, lots of smoke, lots of shouting, hose pipe on, fence and bush left in ashes, hammy sat in comfy chair supping a pint of wife beater. Mmm I love the summer.

    We also through as Sara Lee chocolate cake at their motor home but thats another story :)
  15. I live in an end terrace and my immediate neigbours don't work. The "man" of the house has got a screw loose and the fat ginger bitch of a mother can't be bothered as she gets a nice convenient cash payment every month out of our income tax.

    Despite having more free cash than my wife and I, they are always whining about not having any money and being bored. The tosser doesn't get out of bed until lunch and she spends her days drinking down the village social club (and they wonder why they have a 3 year old kid who can't talk or walk).

    Anyway, during painful polite conversation:

    FBG: "So what have you been up to today?"

    Wasters: "Not alot, we have not money and can't afford to do anything blah blah blah."

    FBG: "Well if you both got off your fat lazy arses and got a job maybe you wouldn't be so fucking bored, you'd stop anoying the hell out of me and my tax money will go to a better cause."

    All I get now is a nod when we pass. Shame. :D