I hate my flatmate

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by edd1989, Mar 13, 2013.

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  1. Let me set the scene...

    I got a flatmate late last year as I moved to London for a job. She works at the same place I do and prior to us meeting when I started we had never seen each other before. She was looking for a place to moved out from her (ex) boyfriend.

    She's a Eastern European girl in her late 20s and she is a complete BI@TCH! I'm an easy going guy with very little that causes me to get pissed off, but she's getting right on my tits!
    She plays her shit music too loud and at stupid times so the neighbors come round and complain. She has recently got into the habit of coming into the living room where I'm quietly on my laptop, putting her shit music on and puts it loud enough so she can listen to it whilst she's in her bedroom.
    I'm guessing this is a power play and would love to tell her to turn that crap off, but she is completely mental.

    I'm scared...

    I've been managing all the bills and she's been paying me back. I've only been doing this because she seems to think that if you just ignore the bills then they go away.
    I brought up a bill with her at the start of the month and she went mental at me for the sum of £1.50 because I didn't want to pay her land line bill that she used to phone her boyfriend. She then accused me of picking the wrong package of internet/phone because she thought I said the calls would be free. Strange, since she choose the package.

    She constantly has a go at me for not cleaning glasses and plates "properly". I admit to the time where I spilt red wine on her white sofa and I used the tactical "flip and rotate" option only to catch crap a few weeks late when she found out.

    She smokes pot or, as she calls it, "Vweeed" a few times a week that stinks the place out and reminds me of being in Amsterdam. She knows I don't smoke and don't like it but she compromises by smoking it, then spraying this shit air freshener all over the place so I now have the combination of Vweeed and this bullshit spray around the place.

    She goes mental at me some days for no reason, and is as nice as pie others. And no lads, she's not that good looking. A good 7 pinter, but then that's basically a supermodel for Naafi standards. The worst part of it all is she believes she is 10/10 on the looks front that gives her an arrogance that makes her even more ugly.

    She constantly is breaking up and getting back together with her boyfriend who she recently moved out from. Making her mood even more unpredictable.

    I can imagine coming back to the flat one day and finding all my stuff outside. Or worse still, I wouldn't put it past her to stab me in my sleep, or kill me by leaving the gas on.

    The worst part is the contract lasts another 6 months.

    Any advice to get me through it?


    p.s. I am not posting any pictures, deal with it!
  2. How about you man up princess?
  3. Take your own advice.
  4. Become more successful.
  5. Can she afford to get reported to plod for drug use?
    • Like Like x 2
  6. If she is smoking weed she is breaching your tenancy agreement (I take it you have one, and if you do, it covers committing criminal offences) Pack her stuff in bin liners, chuck it out the door with her following. There, now; that is the grown up version, you up for it?
  7. This.
  8. Man the fuck up, kick her back doors in and tell her who's boss. Btw welcome to London, I have a feeling you'll be needing advice throughout your time here. If this is the case then just fuck off back to whatever arse end of nowhere village you came from because the big cities clearly aren't for numpties like you.

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
  9. That damn air freshener. Got some once called 'Spring Bouquet'. After spraying it around after a particularly noxious loaf, it smelled exactly like someone had shat in a spring bouquet.
    • Like Like x 3
  10. Is she in the country legally?

    As an afterthought, how silly of me. As if THAT would make a difference.

    I like the comment, above, about the tennancy agreement and chucking her stuff out. But be certain to change the locks.
  11. Have a wank in her knickers and give her the Spanish archer.
    • Like Like x 6
  12. Fuck me dead, this has to be a fucking piss take. OP, take a desert spoon and hack off your testicles with it as you obviously have no fucking use for them.

    You fucking limp wristed toucher of sailors arses.

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
    • Like Like x 14
  13. Well said Goatman! (Add your own amount of applause here until self gratified) :w00t:
  14. Show her the remains of your previous flatmates in the freezer. That'll shut her up.
    • Like Like x 3