I HATE CRABS I HATE CRABS I HATE CRABS I HATE CRABS I HATE C

napier

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
#1
Having spent 48 hours at Basrah APOD being treated like cattle and being lied to by the RLC movers (Quislings) about when the one Tristar serving theatre would be fixed in order to fly us home, I discovered the following when my wife picked me up from Brize:

- She had been told that the flight delays were caused by the security situation in Basrah. This was untrue, as the delay had been caused by the Crabs failing to have a back-up aircraft/plan when their Tristar broke.

- She was not allowed access to Brize as no manifest had been sent from Basrah (despite having her car and personal details on the guardroom computer from 6 weeks previously). Thus she and many other family members who had travelled long distances to pick up loved ones were stuck at the gate.

- While in the Guardroom she overheard the instruction being given to switch the passenger enquiry line to an empty line as someone had had the temerity to complain and 'they weren't paid to deal with that crap'. This resulted in many families being unable to find out arrival times/changes etc. and caused widespread distress.

If I had been responsible for such a catalogue of fcuk-ups and lies in my unit, I would have been sacked on the spot. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have suffered more at the hands of the RAF than any of Her Majesty's enemies. What I propose is a vote of no-confidence in the RAF Transport Fleet, where if the poll goes against them, ACM Sir Jock Stirrup has to apologise to all those he has wronged on national television - naked.
 
#4
Napier,

I couldn't agree more. You have fortunately been spared serving under Crab Air as I was in Cyprus. That was one screw up after another, particularly during TELIC 1. Crabs fly planes and generally they don't work (I watched half the Tornado fleet grounded on runway due to lack of spares on way over to Kuwait!). RAF Regt couldn't be arsed to come over and guard the base so we got spammed on top of all our other duties. The Station couldn't even spare its clerks and slop jockies to help us as they were "too valuable" for their own effort? The same syndrome of "not my job, I don't get paid to do that". Well it wasn't ours but we did it! Funny how these said people were still going to the beach and getting pissed at the height of operations. Need I say more.
 
#5
Our 'Movers' can be pretty pants much of the time..... But Crab Movers have made 'messing the troops around', miss-information and just plain incompetence, such an art form that they out do members of the government in all three aforementioned disciplines...... and that's the only context the word 'discipline' can be used with the RAF!
 
#6
Bloody complain about this. The "security situation in Basra" lie amounts to telling families that "the security situation there is more dangerous than ever so we can't fly aircraft in or out." OK when true, bloody unforgiveable when used by these jobsworths to worry families unnecessarily...
 
#7
napier said:
Having spent 48 hours at Basrah APOD being treated like cattle and being lied to by the RLC movers (Quislings) about when the one Tristar serving theatre would be fixed in order to fly us home, I discovered the following when my wife picked me up from Brize:

- She had been told that the flight delays were caused by the security situation in Basrah. This was untrue, as the delay had been caused by the Crabs failing to have a back-up aircraft/plan when their Tristar broke.

- She was not allowed access to Brize as no manifest had been sent from Basrah (despite having her car and personal details on the guardroom computer from 6 weeks previously). Thus she and many other family members who had travelled long distances to pick up loved ones were stuck at the gate.

- While in the Guardroom she overheard the instruction being given to switch the passenger enquiry line to an empty line as someone had had the temerity to complain and 'they weren't paid to deal with that crap'. This resulted in many families being unable to find out arrival times/changes etc. and caused widespread distress.

If I had been responsible for such a catalogue of fcuk-ups and lies in my unit, I would have been sacked on the spot. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have suffered more at the hands of the RAF than any of Her Majesty's enemies. What I propose is a vote of no-confidence in the RAF Transport Fleet, where if the poll goes against them, ACM Sir Jock Stirrup has to apologise to all those he has wronged on national television - naked.
Napier you are a man after my own heart :D If I didn't regard honchoism as sickening I would marry you. At last there is a reasonable argument against the "devils in blue serge" ...........as opposed to my sick rants :D
 
#8
have to say the movers at brize were helpful getting warrents sorted out
for us which should have be done by our parent unit in thearte but crab air are hateful
 
#9
I've just got home in a happy and cheerful frame of mind, and read Napier's post. I'm now sat spitting as memories of passing through the hands of RAF and Army movers return.

Napier, you're spot on. They shouldn't get away with it, and our commanders shouldn't let them. Someone put up a link to AG's briefers a few days back, in which he invited serving personnel to let him know what's wrong. Well, I can't think of a better issue than the one you've raised. The invitation is at:

http://www.army.mod.uk/servingsoldier/whatsgoingon/daps_we_want_your_suggestions.htm

So how about highlighting it there and letting us know the response?

Don
 
#10
I've said it before and I'll say it again - the rest of the RAF hate RAF movers too. Except the ones who fly their own transport. So slagging the whole service off for that reason is a bit unfair.
 
#11
While in the Guardroom she overheard the instruction being given to switch the passenger enquiry line to an empty line as someone had had the temerity to complain and 'they weren't paid to deal with that crap'. This resulted in many families being unable to find out arrival times/changes etc. and caused widespread distress.

barrier techs at brize rank alongside the ones at larkhill and lyneham for general unhelpfulness and bad attitude :(
 
#12
A few years back, me and 'A N Other' were met off the plane from Cyprus by a very nice looking (Female) RAF Mover Cpl who greeted us with smiles and an envelope containing details of our onward move to Germany the following day. Booking in the accomodation, deatails of hire car, route to Stanstead, latest arrival times and flight deatils for the 'Trooper'. We even commented in the bar that night how efficient the service was and how we must change our opinions of RAF Movers as they were much more helpful than they used to be.

The following day, slow start, breakfast, pick up hire car and a stress free drive to Stanstead. We arrived at the Stanstead trooper 'check in' to be met by another much uglier (male) RAF Mover who took great pleasure in telling us that the latest arrival time we were given was actually the time the flight arrived in Hannover and the gate was closed and we'd have to make our own way back at our own expence.

It was only when we handed him over the proof, stamped by Tpt & Movt Brize Norton that he decided that rather than drop his RAF mates in the smelly he'd let us get on the flight, delaying it by an hour in doing so.

They really are a bunch of w4nkers who prove again and again that they will only do things when they really want/have to.
 
#13
TheLittleMan said:
Napier,

I couldn't agree more. You have fortunately been spared serving under Crab Air as I was in Cyprus. That was one screw up after another, particularly during TELIC 1. Crabs fly planes and generally they don't work (I watched half the Tornado fleet grounded on runway due to lack of spares on way over to Kuwait!). RAF Regt couldn't be arsed to come over and guard the base so we got spammed on top of all our other duties. The Station couldn't even spare its clerks and slop jockies to help us as they were "too valuable" for their own effort? The same syndrome of "not my job, I don't get paid to do that". Well it wasn't ours but we did it! Funny how these said people were still going to the beach and getting pissed at the height of operations. Need I say more.


That one is news to me. When I spent Op Telic supplying the Crab Air Tornado fleet and D States (grounded A/C) normally mean a interview without biscuits) PM me

But they are low life waste of space that piss me off with their attitude and outlook no standards :evil:
 
#14
Quite a few years ago, whilst waiting at Akrotri to return to Blighty, one of the other passengers telephoned her parents just to make sure that they would be collected from Brize. Imagine her suprise when one of her parents told her that the flight, already en route, would not be coming back that day and had been delayed by a day. One particular mover at Akrotiri denied all knowledge of this and maintained that the flight was on time from Brize and would depart on time for its return journey. Also bear in mind that this guy came across as an officious, jumped-up, smarmy little tw*t, but hey, if the info was wrong, the info was wrong.

Once the aircraft landed, over the tannoy spouts the officious little c*nt, stating that there was a major problem with the brakes of the aircraft encountered on landing. So the flight would be delayed for 24 hours.

OK, thinks me, this could be a coincidence and off I did go to the mess only to find out from the mess staff that said officious c*nt mover had booked accommodation for the aircrew many hours before. Problem with teh brakes? A nice overnighter in Cyprus more like it.

Movers, aircrew, groundcrew - if they claim to be in the RAF (Rough As F*ck)then as far as I am concerned, w*ankers.
 
#15
napier said:
Having spent 48 hours at Basrah APOD being treated like cattle and being lied to by the RLC movers (Quislings) about when the one Tristar serving theatre would be fixed in order to fly us home, I discovered the following when my wife picked me up from Brize:

- She had been told that the flight delays were caused by the security situation in Basrah. This was untrue, as the delay had been caused by the Crabs failing to have a back-up aircraft/plan when their Tristar broke.

- She was not allowed access to Brize as no manifest had been sent from Basrah (despite having her car and personal details on the guardroom computer from 6 weeks previously). Thus she and many other family members who had travelled long distances to pick up loved ones were stuck at the gate.

- While in the Guardroom she overheard the instruction being given to switch the passenger enquiry line to an empty line as someone had had the temerity to complain and 'they weren't paid to deal with that crap'. This resulted in many families being unable to find out arrival times/changes etc. and caused widespread distress.

If I had been responsible for such a catalogue of fcuk-ups and lies in my unit, I would have been sacked on the spot. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have suffered more at the hands of the RAF than any of Her Majesty's enemies. What I propose is a vote of no-confidence in the RAF Transport Fleet, where if the poll goes against them, ACM Sir Jock Stirrup has to apologise to all those he has wronged on national television - naked.
Shame the Snowdrops didn't clamp your car as well.
 
#18
Has anyone pointed Always Bitter in Wilts at this thread yet? :twisted:
 
#19
PartTimePongo said:
Has anyone pointed Always Bitter in Wilts at this thread yet? :twisted:
Thiught this was supposed to be a sensible winge site?
 
#20
If I may just walk sideways into the firing line...

Napier,
Firstly, my apologies for the tardy movers service you received. If it makes you feel any better, even though I'm aircrew, I too get screwed around every bit as much as you guys although I would say that I personally find Army and RAF movers as bad as one another. Generally, us Crabs view movers and the RAFP as a life-form lower than single cell amoeba (no disrepect to single cell amoeba intended!).

However, it is totally unrealistic to expect the RAF AT fleet to provide 'reserve' or back-up' aircraft for such unserviceabilities. Even prior to the recent increase to HMF commitments, the RAF AT fleet was arguably one of the most underfunded and over tasked around. The VC10s and C-130Ks are mostly around 40 years old whilst the second hand Tristars are not much newer. Only the relatively small number of C-130Js and C-17s are modern. Additionaly, the VC10s and Tristars are also employed as Air-Air Refueling (AAR) tankers for UK and coalition assets in numerous ops.

As a result of such overstretch, aircraft serviceability rates are low and AT aircrew are some of the hardest worked in the Service due to constant short notice deployments. It is therefore impossible to deploy spare aircraft around the world. And before you suggest contract airlines, remember the tragic air crashes in recent years involving Spanish, US and Canadian troops being flown on low quality civilian chartered aircraft who charge extortionate amounts to even come near the airfields they consider dangerous.

Oracle,
It is standard practice for AT crews to be 'slipped' at Cyprus. This is where aircrews are swapped to ensure that crew duty/rest requirements (which are specified by civil air regulations) are met. Therefore, I have no doubt that your original crew was booked into the Mess at Cyprus days prior to your arrival. However, another crew (who had most likely 'slipped' from another flt into Cyprus the day prior) would have been waiting to fly you on the Cyprus - UK leg. This is the most efficient way of maintaining tight AT schedules and is also used by many civilian airlines.

Thankfully, once the Airbus A330 replacements arrive for the VC10 and Tristar fleets from around 2009, you'll be able to be flown home directly to the UK from most places in the world without the need for a time consuming refueling stop in Cyprus or some other location.

Hope that this info is of use.

Regards,
M2
 
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