I hate cats... will you catsit for me?!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by PandaLOVE, Jan 18, 2009.

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  1. You want me to do what as a favour?!!!

    I hate cats and dogs and most humans who like cats and dogs. In particular I hate the neighbours two stinking cats.... one of which ate some rat poison a few months ago and has not been seen since. 8)

    To my astonishment my kind neighbour asked me if I would look after his last remaining cat while away on holiday next week, giving me keys and access to his house to feed the fcuker!

    The last time I looked after a bosses cat I didn't feed it for 10 days... unfortunatley a cat will not starve to death in 10 days.

    What shall I do, tum te tum?
  2. Shove it in the tumble dryer, and turn it on to full heat, full time. Leave it there for when owner comes home and explain how you 'Haven't seen the dear moggy all week...' before beating a hasty retreat.
  3. Drown it.

    Cats are shite.

    They sleep on your face and stuff.
  4. That's because every fcuker in the neighbourhood feeds cats; in a month they look like barrels.

    Put the cat in the fridge. Out of sight, out of mind
  5. Kill it, fcuk it then eat it.
  6. At least make a profit,sell it to the local takeaway
  7. Have you got any of that rat poison left?
  8. I believe the local chinese restaurant will pay highly. Alternatively, kill it, and make it into a hat (post pics mind).