I Hate Being A Civvy

#1
Forks started a post complaining that he hates being a soldier.

http://www.arrse.co.uk/Forums/viewtopic/t=126884.html

This got me thinking; and I have come to the conclusion that I hate being a civvy.

Despite all the interesting and rewarding things that I have got going on, I often feel that I am leading a life of quiet desperation.

I woke up this morning and wasn't able to load my plate with sausage, bacon, fried egg, scrambled egg, fried bead, fried mushrooms, tinned tomato and baked beans. Nor was I able to fold it all into slices of slices of sliced white bread and swill it down with cookhouse tea, leaving the washing up to some other cnut.

I didn't spend at least half my day trying to skive, smoking fags, taking the pish and hiding from a man with 3 stripes on his arm.

Nor did I have a w'nk in the toilets.

Nothing went bang all day and I didn't practice doing bad things with dangerous weapons.

I didn't iron a pair of jeans and a t shirt at 1700 and spend the next 10 hours chucking beer down my neck with a bunch of loonies and trying to pull anything female that had a pulse. No knee jerker with a fat ugly trollop in an alley behind a club. No currywurst afterwards.

I seem to spend most of my life paying bills, fulfilling irksome responsibilities, biting my tongue and pretending to be somebody I'm not.

Ok, I didn't have to polish anything, do drill or get beasted in jail.
But there isn't much intensity either..
 
#2
tomthetinker said:
Forks started a post complaining that he hates being a soldier.

http://www.arrse.co.uk/Forums/viewtopic/t=126884.html

This got me thinking; and I have come to the conclusion that I hate being a civvy.

Despite all the interesting and rewarding things that I have got going on, I often feel that I am leading a life of quiet desperation.

I woke up this morning and wasn't able to load my plate with sausage, bacon, fried egg, scrambled egg, fried bead, fried mushrooms, tinned tomato and baked beans. Nor was I able to fold it all into slices of slices of sliced white bread and swill it down with cookhouse tea, leaving the washing up to some other cnut.

I didn't spend at least half my day trying to skive, smoking fags, taking the pish and hiding from a man with 3 stripes on his arm.

Nor did I have a w'nk in the toilets.

Nothing went bang all day and I didn't practice doing bad things with dangerous weapons.

I didn't iron a pair of jeans and a t shirt at 1700 and spend the next 10 hours chucking beer down my neck with a bunch of loonies and trying to pull anything female that had a pulse. No knee jerker with a fat ugly trollop in an alley behind a club. No currywurst afterwards.

I seem to spend most of my life paying bills, fulfilling irksome responsibilities, biting my tongue and pretending to be somebody I'm not.

Ok, I didn't have to polish anything, do drill or get beasted in jail.
But there isn't much intensity either..
I did most of the above last night :wink:

Today I mostly, nursed my hangover, cracked on with my job, and sweated like a twat in the German sunshine whilst getting paid a silly amount of money (ish) in the process.

Life is sh1te, ain't it? :D
 
#4
Today I managed to sit in the sun for several hours, fire 25 rounds from my army gun and had two wanks. I was still shimfing though as I only got an hours lunch break. :)
 
#5
Aaawww, that's got me all melancholy and reflective now.

Bratwurst (mit pommes frites), scnitzels, wobbly, slags.

No responsibilty.(Unless you got caught!)

Happy days!!

But I don't hate being a civvy. Because I haven't been a civvy since 1984. I am (and always will be) an ex-squaddie.
 
#6
dogfondler said:
Aaawww, that's got me all melancholy and reflective now.

Bratwurst (mit pommes frites), scnitzels, wobbly, slags.

No responsibilty.(Unless you got caught!)

Happy days!!

But I don't hate being a civvy. Because I haven't been a civvy since 1984. I am (and always will be) an ex-squaddie.
Guilty, last night :wink:
 
#7
Can't move for the amount of sports afternoons I've had as a civvy.

If you work in an office someone is bound to point out that you came in late or left early.

They actually want to see something that you produced and usually they want it like yesterday. So that means working late.

Team building is not 2 weeks snowqueen it's a pish afternoon in a conference suite somewhere in the midlands.

If you turn up stinking of booze it's not seen as a bit of character apparently you have some sort of issue.
 
#8
I hate being a civvy too.

My brother comes home every few months from Guterschloh, where despite being three years younger than me he earns 3k more and has absulutely the square root of f-all to actually spend it on.

So he drinks, buys fancy gadgets and has a nice car. Whereas i spend aroung 50% of my income on living costs and bills. He also went somehwere hot and sunny for six months over winter and got a nice tan. He said the locals weren't very friendly though.

He came back from that jaunt with 7 grand in his bank.

My hearts bleeds for squaddies. You think you guys get no respect from the general population? I work for a sodding bank!
 
#11
For some reason , some civvies take offence to the following

talking about your recent bowel movements,
discussing your favourite type of wanks,
reminising the many times you've swamped yourself,
having pride in a fart well done,
jokes about Joseph Fritzl, Jade Goody, Michael Jackson and any other "famous" person ,
using the word mong,
having sick porn on your phone,
telling them that being 5-10 mins late every day is bang out of order,
telling them that any illness or injury they have is nothing compared to what you've had,
being told to do some f*cking work,
being told it's their turn to make the brews,
not taking an interest in their back stabbing and bitching of other colleagues,
finding their tales of world travel and drinking excesses nothing compared to your own experiences
having their conversation out trumped by what you think is something more interesting that you did in green


there are plenty more

Like previously said, I'm not a civvy, I'm an ex-Squaddie

And Proud.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#13
I hate it too. Yesterday, instead of staying at work and enjoying myself with the squaddies here at a very interesting lecture in the lecture theatre, followed by another talk and so on until 1900, I left at 1200, and went home, where I sat ingarden with cold drink for half an hour, before going out with daughter to meet her yummy friends and sit in the shade drinking.
Then in evening, to grandkids school for fete activities, and again being surrounded by scantily dressed yummy mummies!

This weekend, instead of being on a duty, or an exercise or anything else, I will probably be on my boat, with cool drinks.
I hate being a civvy, all the freedom to do what I want is so frustrating.
 
#14
cheese_tits said:
For some reason , some civvies take offence to the following

talking about your recent bowel movements,
discussing your favourite type of wanks,

reminising the many times you've swamped yourself,
having pride in a fart well done,
jokes about Joseph Fritzl, Jade Goody, Michael Jackson and any other "famous" person ,
using the word mong,
having sick porn on your phone,
telling them that being 5-10 mins late every day is bang out of order,

telling them that any illness or injury they have is nothing compared to what you've had,
being told to do some f*cking work,
being told it's their turn to make the brews,
not taking an interest in their back stabbing and bitching of other colleagues,

finding their tales of world travel and drinking excesses nothing compared to your own experiences
having their conversation out trumped by what you think is something more interesting that you did in green
My bold.

Work in the building industry, whether it be manufacture, supply, or contractor.
Then you'll find all the bold & probably everything else discussed in detail.

And I am a civvy. And I yes, I hold my manhood cheaply for not having served.
 
#15
I spent 7 years at University and earn less than a Night Manager at Burger King. I work with mostly men who wear sandals with socks and shorts all year round and beards that make David Bellamy's look like bum fluff, and live with their parents even though they're close to retirement. My contribution to society is reducing the error bar on some measurement that no body cares about by a number so small it doesn't fit onto my calculator screen. Every day is groundhog day.

My sister got 1.5 A levels, and is now a Major, earning lord knows how much and has a better tan than me. She works with mostly fit healthy men who have a top attitude to work, life and are generally pretty switched on. I won't list her contributions to the world, as they're many and varied and it would just make me gush. Every day her life is different.

I can't help but think she made the better choice. :(

On the other hand, I've grown up in her mess, had top times visiting her, and not even had to complete and obstacle course - unless you count avoiding bar stools in 4 inch heals after 5 pints on someone else's tab. :p
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#16
milsum said:
I spent 7 years at University and earn less than a Night Manager at Burger King. I work with mostly men who wear sandals with socks and shorts all year round and beards that make David Bellamy's look like bum fluff, and live with their parents even though they're close to retirement. My contribution to society is reducing the error bar on some measurement that no body cares about by a number so small it doesn't fit onto my calculator screen. Every day is groundhog day.

My sister got 1.5 A levels, and is now a Major, earning lord knows how much and has a better tan than me. She works with mostly fit healthy men who have a top attitude to work, life and are generally pretty switched on. I won't list her contributions to the world, as they're many and varied and it would just make me gush. Every day her life is different.

I can't help but think she made the better choice. :(

On the other hand, I've grown up in her mess, had top times visiting her, and not even had to complete and obstacle course - unless you count avoiding bar stools in 4 inch heals after 5 pints on someone else's tab. :p

You earn less than that? Damn. I probably withdraw my proposal then. I thought you were going to support me!
 
#17
Hardest bit was explaining why I was a bit peeved as my colleagues were always between 10-30 mins late, told them that they may loose pay if it persists as they were not completing the 37.5 hours of their contract, was told if the boss was told they would DO ME, gave them every chance to DO ME, one then had 4 months off for stress, left the firm went self employed in a franchise now we all work hard or don't get paid, pish ups are great and I have instigated the "my hangover is enough to ........" on a monday.
Still not a civvy me as others say ex-squaddie
 
#18
old_fat_and_hairy said:
I hate being a civvy, all the freedom to do what I want is so frustrating.
Don't you find it just soooo tiresome? *holds back of hand to forehead*

Being self-employed makes it much more difficult. I seem to spend my time chatting with clients, drinking coffee, doing a bit of work just to keep my hand in, walking the dog, followed by lunch in the pub. Then maybe do some more 'work' (repeat of the morning routine but add riding the horse), or maybe not if something more interesting/amusing distracts me.

It really is such a carefree, feckless existence I don't know how I can live with myself.
 
#19
Kin 'ell! You've all got it lucky.

Damn I hate being a rocket scientist on the astronaut training program! Everyone else here is a rocket scientist and all they ever talk about is rocket science... no booze, no fags, no girls. Just computers, rocket science and astronauty stuff all friggin' day long!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#20
Archangel said:
Kin 'ell! You've all got it lucky.

Damn I hate being a rocket scientist on the astronaut training program! Everyone else here is a rocket scientist and all they ever talk about is rocket science... no booze, no fags, no girls. Just computers, rocket science and astronauty stuff all friggin' day long!
I used to do that, but gave it up to be an MP.
 

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