I for one welcome our islamic overlords

#1
as bin laden says we have to convert to save ourselves
let me be the first to welcome our new masters.
ok the doris isn't happy about having to wear a tent and not allowed out anymore but tough its a way of saving our skin :twisted:
was thinking about joining the resistance but on reflection of my military capability I'll be more trouble to the enemy joining them :oops:
 
#2
Seeing how long it is taking the Democrats to end the war as they promised, "joining" Islam en masse might do the trick.

After all , muslims are averse to killing each othyer, aren't they?
 
#5
Sorry just cannot put down the beer and my bacon butty whilst watching porn, is there a 'islam lite' version?
 

Auld-Yin

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#6
Fallschirmjager said:
I've just beaten the wife and bummed my 6 year old son in the name of islam. All i need to do now is fuckoff to Afghanistan and do my bit for the cause.
You have been there son, don't have to go back. Just blow yourself up with the Fat Controller and the world is your stage (or at least your ashes will spread over quite a bit of it :twisted: )
 
#7
I'll convert.

The missus has been getting on my tit's recently and I quite fancy a couple of new wives.
 
#8
I couldn't understand the satanic verses by that Salmon Rusdie well enough to get upset,I didn't have a clue what those cartoons were about so I reckon I wouldn't make a very good Muslim so I will just stay a atheist Englishman,thanks for the offer anyway
 

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#9
Sadly the lack of alcohol and their insistence on circumcision make it something of a no-no for me.

I’m letting no-one with a pair of rusty secateurs anywhere near my foreskin and it’ll be a cold day in Hell when I give up premium cider.
 
#10
Devil Dog. Given your troubles with the "fairer" sex I'd have thought that Islam is just the thing for you. After all even the Mother-in-law has to toe-the-line.
 
#11
I already toyed with the idea of changing my name to Al Coholic, and subtle enquiries with the DSS indicated that I would benefit financially, socially and legally.
 
#12
rebel_with_a_cause said:
Devil Dog. Given your troubles with the "fairer" sex I'd have thought that Islam is just the thing for you. After all even the Mother-in-law has to toe-the-line.
No, he'd just end up with three more overly-handy lezzer wives and their mothers...
 
#13
Rumpelstiltskin said:
rebel_with_a_cause said:
Devil Dog. Given your troubles with the "fairer" sex I'd have thought that Islam is just the thing for you. After all even the Mother-in-law has to toe-the-line.
No, he'd just end up with three more overly-handy lezzer wives and their mothers...
Would his 72 Virgins in the after life be Lezzers to or just bi curious? :D
 
#14
I Fancy shagging the 72 virgins, wherever they may be. None here in Warrington.
Changing my name to Mustapha P.Iss and buying the local Church.
Praise Allah my Arrse!
 
#15
Do we have to wait or the 72 virgins, or can we have 'an advance'?
 
#16
Can I knife the missus, in one of them honour killings, if she answers me back? Hooray...a victory for common sense. Yay Osama.

p.s. sh*t beard by the way!
 
#17
Rumpelstiltskin said:
rebel_with_a_cause said:
Devil Dog. Given your troubles with the "fairer" sex I'd have thought that Islam is just the thing for you. After all even the Mother-in-law has to toe-the-line.
No, he'd just end up with three more overly-handy lezzer wives and their mothers...

hummm perhaps the veil is a dyke thing that i need to embrace :p edited for mongo spelling
 
#18
I'll convert. Fancy growing me hair and beard. I'm spending a fortune keeping those capitalists at Gillette in business. I also fancy a bash at having a camel and wiping me butt with me hand.
 
#19
Which particular brand of Islam would Bin Laden like us to embrace? I wouldn't like to go through the trouble and then just end up having my throat cut or have a VBIED driven into my Tescos for STILL being an infidel.
 
#20
Is it just me, or would Muslims be better off if they allowed drinking? I imagine if Muhammad (Peace be Upon him) had said that, hey lads, have a drink or two (after all, wine in the Islamic heaven is the drink of choice), these Christian folk can be a bit of a pain in the arrse, but you'll get on with them after a few jars, the World would be a better place.
 

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