I disgust myself

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by puzzledgrunt, Oct 13, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. In one 'orrible 12-hour period I have;
    1) drunk an entire bottle of Glenfiddich (neat)
    2) swallowed 6 Mersyndol (the strongest non-prescription painkiller available)
    3) In the full view of my "mates", tried to chunder out the window.The window was at least open, but also flyscreened, thus enhancing the dispersal, but also ensuring that the diced carrot ricochetted back onto the floor
    4) Sh@t myself in the shower the next morning

    Surely one of you can top that?

    Vile, simply vile... :pukel:
  2. Whilst stationed at the Gornji Vakuf P Factory back in the day, I took a liking to one of the camp's other residents. She, however, was having none of it (story of my life). It was possibly the last youthful crush I ever had and also the strongest (apart fom the Karate Kid) and I wanked over nothing else for the entire tour. In the absence of any chance of seeing her naked I resorted to drastic measures, such as:

    1) Cumming on the bristles of her toothbrush, wiping off the obvious bits then enjoying the thought of her gargling my man fat.

    2) Waiting till she had finished in the porta-loo, going in, picking the freshest and uppermost piece of used bog roll out of the bowl and....

    All true apart from the fact that 'she' was a Sapper called Graham.

    You did ask...
  3. Last 24 hours:

    Went to Bible study
    Visited the local orphange and gave out books
    Saved 28 kids from a burning building
    Spent two hours mentoring wayward kids
    Just got done screwing my best friend's wife.
  4. You got some demons in there mate? Feeling the need to say something?
  6. Why did you just quote me and not add a comment?

    I fart at thee.
  7. He's got a dick in his mouth. cant talk at the moment
  8. Wedge, I feel relatively 'normal' after reading your confession.
  9. You, sir. Are a very sick puppy.
  10. Got invited to a weekend in Las Vegas by an ex-girlfriend at her company's expense. Had a 3 day shagathon in the Mandalay Bay, no questions asked, but on the last morning I took the opportunity to jump in the shower and crack one off into her shampoo bottle before she fcuked off back to Blighty.

    Figured it would be rude not to.
  11. I was under the impression that if, following a night of waywardness, you visit the toilet for a piss, find out you need a shit, and then finish of with throwing up, the correct terminology is achieving the "Triple Crown".

    What the "Grand Slam" would entail I dread to think.
  12. Grand slam=Triplke crown without getting out of your girlfriends bed
  13. Happened to me once. Only problem, she was still in bed hence leading to me second marriage.
  14. She should be in bed for the action to be recorded as a real Grand slam
  15. Motion seconded!