I didn't think it was going to do that...

SOP is piss on the ground first, insert earth spike, then keep it wet by pissing on the ground around the spike at every opportunity to ensure continued earth continuity.
I agree, it seems to be inviting a visit from his eminence, but I've never seen or heard of it happening.

The earlier mention of dynamite sources reminded of the time, about 10 years ago now, when I went to visit a crew operating our kit in China. On the Chinese coalfields, they always use dynamite sources, as they can't easily get vibes into the villages and fields in the East of China.
I spotted a bashed up dynamite controller set lying in the corner, and asked what happened to it. Nobody would talk about it until part way through the traditional mautai session in the evening, when one of their observers told me (with our agent translating) the tale of the Emperors visit to the crew.

They had been operating somewhere in Shandong province which has lots of villages, lots of agriculture and lots of curious kids. The Emperor had made two visits that day, first he suggested to the drillers that they could get to their stewed veg and pigs eyelid quicker if drilled the shot hole to 5m instead of 20m and nobody would bother. He then suggested to the dynamite shooter that the easiest way to keep curious, Darwin-bait kids away from the shot hole was to stand at the shot hole and shoo them away, and furthermore, retreating the proscribed 25m from the shot hole was a waste of time and energy as they rarely blow out.

What the shooter's last thoughts were as he detonated 2Kg of dynaseis and the shot hole blew out into his abdomen we will never know, but the observer did report a distinct smell of sulphur.
How very Chinese. Seen them fix rigs with bits of baling wire and sticks and then carry on as normal. Distinctly skewed concept of mortality, not far off the Inshallah thing found in parts sandy.
 
Another bit of abject stupidity I was responsible for was nearly blowing my own face off with a BFO thundie thing sold to the civvy market. I can't remember who it was who sold these things, I think my contact at the time was some pyrotechnics place in the mids. Any myself & about 7 of my bezzies were somewhere in the ooloo south of Llangollen, middle of nowhere pissing about with these pyro's, some metal tubes & a healthy dose of ' oooh i wonder what will happen if........'
I would like to add, the youngest of us was about 30+, the eldest late 40's. All ex mob, no responsible adults were present.
During a particularly daft 'what if' session I wondered how far we'd get this bfo thundie to fly if we dropped it down this 40mm dia pipe & propelled having dropped a lit crow scrarer down the tube first. Hopefully we'd get a nice big airburst that would rattle window 20 miles away. So, brains here test fitted the thundie.....ooh tightish fit, not much wriggle room, have to be right on the money getting this thing down the tube in time otherwise it could go off in my face.................Nah never happen.

For some reason the crow scarer fuses had been cut short when the farmer type who'd bought them had cut them off the strip that they usually come in. So, we found out through testing one that we had about 3 secs before the crowie went bang. Ok, one bloke to light the crow scarer & drop it down the tube, ******** here has 3 secs to strike the thundie & pop it down the tube. No fackin problem. At this stage the whiff of sulphur was barely palpable such was the enthusiasm by us mongs for seeing what would happen.

Right, here we go.
Ready?
3...2...1....light the scarer.
Down the tube it goes hissing like a boa on smack.
I immediately strike the thundie.
Nothing
Oh ****.
Again.
Nothing.
Fuckin **** ****
Again
Yes its worked.
BANG!
The crow scarer goes off.
I'm jamming the thundie into the tube AFTER the crow scarer has gone off not having registered that important point.....
Wait....wait.....**** me that crow scarer is taking its time this thundie will go............
******* BAAAAAANNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right in front of my face.

I end up staggering around holding my head to stop it from falling off & wondering what the fcuk, where the fcuk& who the fcuk.. My eyebrows had pretty much gone & my fizzog was spattered with the cardboard paper wrapping stuff the thundies are made of.

Everyone else meanwhile is pissing themselves laughing.
Hmm, Double thundies and a Fence post driver - SENTA endex airburst giggles...
 
Wasn't there a Schermuly less parachute down an used '66 horizontal variant?
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
How very Chinese. Seen them fix rigs with bits of baling wire and sticks and then carry on as normal. Distinctly skewed concept of mortality, not far off the Inshallah thing found in parts sandy.
Yeah, when you see one fiddling with electricity you know you'll want another within the hour.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
Wasn't there a Schermuly less parachute down an used '66 horizontal variant?
In 1981, in a Scorpion turret having my whole day ruined by a Lynx playing attack helicopter. Every time we crept out to a wood line, there he'd be. Eventually I took umbrage, reached inside the turret and pulled out a Schermuly. Horizontal, there was no way it was going to hit at that range. Even if it got close before the parachute deployed, its flat parabolic arc would pass it safely below the Lynx.

But I think the sight of a rocket trail heading for him focused the pilot's mind, he fúcked off and spent the rest of his day bothering somebody else.
 
In 1981, in a Scorpion turret having my whole day ruined by a Lynx playing attack helicopter. Every time we crept out to a wood line, there he'd be. Eventually I took umbrage, reached inside the turret and pulled out a Schermuly. Horizontal, there was no way it was going to hit at that range. Even if it got close before the parachute deployed, its flat parabolic arc would pass it safely below the Lynx.

But I think the sight of a rocket trail heading for him focused the pilot's mind, he fúcked off and spent the rest of his day bothering somebody else.
I'd heard about the Schermuly down the used '66 tube in relation to some particular grudge fest of an simulated antitank ambush when someone one came up with a field expedient solution to the question; "but how can they tell they've been shot at?"
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
I'd heard about the Schermuly down the used '66 tube in relation to some particular grudge fest of an simulated antitank ambush when someone one came up with a field expedient solution to the question; "but how can they tell they've been shot at?"
Earlier that year, Ex Winter Woolies. We were given a triangular patch of white cam net that might be big enough to disguise a Scorpion mantlet and enough whitewash to render the ⅔ green, ⅓ black paint job into ⅓ green, ⅓ black and ⅓ white winter cam.

Our troop deployed to cover a bridge. I was sharp, a hundred or so meters from the bridge in the rubble of a derelict house.

We had the A Squadron Close Recce cowboy Orange Force Scimitars cold (haha) long before they reached the bridge, contact reported, "Am engaging".

First vehicle on the bridge, I gave the fire order, my intent being to block the bridge, while the rest of the troop on the ridgeline rained death on the backed up column. But we were in the middle of a German village. I was painfully aware that a 76 blank might put out half the windows in the street, a painful awakening of the residents in the breaking light of dawn. So, as per SOP, on the W of the gunner's FIRING NOW!, the driver gave a harsh flash of his headlights to simulate firing.

The cùnts only sailed by up the road past my left hand side waving at me.

It was about this time I began to think that people at the sharp end weren't taking the defence of Western Europe seriously and the following year I transferred out.
 
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Possibly an urban myth. But I remember an ex in Denmark 1993 or 1994 or so where we were against a highland regiment. It was getting really punchy and then the ex was paused following a schermuly allegedly going right past the canopy of a chinook coming in to drop off some bods.

I would have thought the downdraft would have stopped the schermuly but that’s what we were told. We were all told to calm down a bit.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
I would have thought the downdraft would have stopped the schermuly but that’s what we were told. We were all told to calm down a bit.
Part of my logic in the post upthread ⬆.
 
Ex Crusader 80 - "enemy" Chieftains tried avoid the killing zone in the plain west of Hanover by sneaking through a village at the foot of a steep hill.

Our Bn HQ was hidden in the village and one of the defenders (not me I might add - honest!) let rip with a Schermuly at a tank. The rocket bounced off the turret.

I don't recall anyone getting a bollocking (aprt of the OC armour sqn for being a smartarse) but IIRC the tanks were told to get out of the village pdq as the streets were REALLY too narrow for them and the locals were objecting.
 
Earlier that year, Ex Winter Woolies. We were given a triangular patch of white cam net that might be big enough to disguise a Scorpion mantlet and enough whitewash to render the ⅔ green, ⅓ black paint job into ⅓ green, ⅓ black and ⅓ white winter cam.

Our troop deployed to cover a bridge. I was sharp, a hundred or so meters from the bridge in the rubble of a derelict house.

We had the A Squadron Close Recce cowboy Orange Force Scimitars cold (haha) long before they reached the bridge, contact reported, "Am engaging".

First vehicle on the bridge, I gave the fire order, my intent being to block the bridge, while the rest of the troop on the ridgeline rained death on the backed up column. But we were in the middle of a German village. I was painfully aware that a 76 blank might put out half the windows in the street, a painful awakening of the residents in the breaking light of dawn. So, as per SOP, on the W of the gunner's FIRING NOW!, the driver gave a harsh flash of his headlights to simulate firing.

The cùnts only sailed by up the road past my left hand side waving at me.

It was about this time I began to think that people at the sharp end weren't taking the defence of Western Europe seriously and the following year I transferred out.
Have you any more tales from band camp?
 

Mr Tweedy

Old-Salt
If he wasn't, he'll just make it up and pretend anyway, like he usually does.

There was the stunning display of good judgement by one young Tom in 2003 who decided that the correct procedure when finding some kind of fuse mechanism when searching a car was to hold onto it while pulling the pin. After all, it was only going to make a bit of a bang, couldn't do any harm, could it?
Just found this thread so excuse the resurrection of a post this old. I was there. Spent 2 hours trying to put his hand back together, then shipped him to Shaiba to let them have a go. After we finished trying to fix him I spoke to his platoon commander, who said "Shame about him, he was one of my bright ones.........."!!!!
 
I'd heard about the Schermuly down the used '66 tube in relation to some particular grudge fest of an simulated antitank ambush when someone one came up with a field expedient solution to the question; "but how can they tell they've been shot at?"
That makes no sense what so ever.
 
That makes no sense what so ever.
A fired 66mm rocket is an empty tube
A schermuly with its parachute removed is essentially a rocket
A rocket fired horizontally down a tube should initially go where the tube is pointed.
If the tube is pointed at a tank, those with access to his purple emperorness as a concept advisor might think it could simulate an AT rocket.
Someone in a tank seeing a rocket coming towards them might then not confuse being shot at versus other means (i.e flashing/dipping headlights, umpires, integrity, etc).
If the story has elements of truth, then it likely happened in the days before LAIT had a budget and adult supervision of soldiers with training munitions was still an optional extra
 
A fired 66mm rocket is an empty tube
A schermuly with its parachute removed is essentially a rocket
A rocket fired horizontally down a tube should initially go where the tube is pointed.
If the tube is pointed at a tank, those with access to his purple emperorness as a concept advisor might think it could simulate an AT rocket.
Someone in a tank seeing a rocket coming towards them might then not confuse being shot at versus other means (i.e flashing/dipping headlights, umpires, integrity, etc).
If the story has elements of truth, then it likely happened in the days before LAIT had a budget and adult supervision of soldiers with training munitions was still an optional extra
Not really. The 66mm tube is errrr.... wait a mo whilst I check........... that’s it.......... 66mm in diameter, the Rkt HF Para Illum (schermuly to the untermensch) is 37.5mm in diameter. If you fire it up the tube (even having illegally adapted it) it’s either going to bounce off the sides of the tube or just fly straight though it, as you if the tube wasn’t there.

I think it’s some spurious story, poorly thought out.
 

Niamac

GCM
When small I decided that the fiddly permanent magnet that I had was not impressive enough and so I decided to create an electromagnet. After looking the construction of said electromagnet up in the family encyclopedia I constructed mine from a single strand of insulated electric flex wrapped many times around a Meccano axle rod. When plugged into the mains this gave a very satisfying if unexpected flash and my old man thundering up the stairs to find out what the hell had happened.

I subsequently became an Electrical Engineer.
 
When doing mobile disco's, I couldn't afford a pyroflash system, so I screwed two paperclips to a board, put 5A fuse wire across one end and mains across the other end, it definitely went bang!

I improved things with a genuine Le Maitre flash box, connected through an ignition box, powered by my dads car battery charger. Old flash pots were reloaded with fuse wire, custard powder and diesel. One didn't fire, so I returned to it. I didn't know my dad had put a smoothing capacitor in the charger.

That really went bang as I touched it. I remember my brother telling me to run my hand under a hot tap! I still have the scars :)

Sent from my neocore_E1R1 using Tapatalk
 
Not really. The 66mm tube is errrr.... wait a mo whilst I check........... that’s it.......... 66mm in diameter, the Rkt HF Para Illum (schermuly to the untermensch) is 37.5mm in diameter. If you fire it up the tube (even having illegally adapted it) it’s either going to bounce off the sides of the tube or just fly straight though it, as you if the tube wasn’t there.

I think it’s some spurious story, poorly thought out.
I did caveat with "if true..."
Given the story was first heard pre TELIC, then if something like it did happen, it probably dates back to pre LAW80 days in BAOR. It also probably pre-dates the training safety video with blokes burning detcord on a fire and putting old style thundies under helmets.

The get up described above is not a Colin Furze production

Before they got their hands on military pyrotechnics, I would wager at least one ARRSER looking at this thread shot these at other people through a piece of plastic or metal conduit pipe when a teenager without worrying too much about wobble...
Ref_027.jpg
 

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