I Couldnt Help It

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, May 27, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. It was hot, damnably hot... we're in the midst of a heat wave. . 35C+ before taxes, and everyone is moving about with as little as legally possible on..

    So, naturally, the young women of a certain age are decked out in micro mini short shorts and teeny tiny tankinis,, which makes for a delightful view of nature for those older gentlemen of discernment such as myself.

    So, I am sauntering along enjoying nature when I spot a fulsome young thing running toward me, her delicious ta-tas bobbing and bouncing and jiggling and.... and my little brain is becoming aroused from his slumbers when the big brain kicks in and says ' WTF? Why would anyone be running in this heat?'..

    Well, quick recce and I size up the situation, there are various pieces of paper being wafted about on the hot breeze and said vision of loveliness is trying to gather them up. My eagle eye notes that she is in some distress over the loss of said papers..

    Ever the gentlemen [ my momma raised me right ], I step forward and snatch some of the pages from the air and gather them up as she approaches. She is effusive in her appreciation.

    ' Thank you, thank you.. I don't know what I would have done had I lost these. How can I ever repay you? '

    Sadly, little brain took over and before I could formulate a proper response, I heard myself say. ' Well, would you mind backing up say 20 feet and running toward me again - in slow motion? '

    A look of confusion comes over her, then disgust...

    I'm telling my wife that I banged my nose on the car door while trying to load some groceries..
     
  2. that is a true sonnet .......................
    :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
     
  3. You could have said 'Well you could start by sucking the shit out of my filthy arse'.
     
  4. Kids these days - no gratitude.
     
  5. Thread deviation on/ welcome back Fallschirmjager. Long time since you graced these virtual but hallowed halls./ thread deviation off.
     
  6. Welcome back Fally.
     
  7. What's it like being totally unwelcome?
     
  8. Back from killing Babies then Fally, sent back early to give the Taleban time to breed some more?
     
  9. Whats it like being a tedious cnut.
     
  10. You probably wouldn't have got twatted if you were looking at her face when asking to back up etc...
     
  11. BugsyIII

    BugsyIII On ROPs

    A bit harsh that, he's a Para they only shoot unarmed Paddies................. Sunday bloody Sunday its true Bono told me.
     
  12. BugsyIII

    BugsyIII On ROPs

    Bugsy Walt :D
     
  13. How curious-Bob the Knob and Bugsy x 2 turn up within 4 minutes of each other.
     
  14. Where???